Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

teksla
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 783

11 Aug 2015, 10:48 am

Hello.
Today one of my best friends had agreed to meet. Although at the time she was supposed to be there she was not, so i called her. She was apparently confused bout the time, but told me she would be here when her mom drops her off. That was 6 hours ago. She has not showed up yet.
What should i do? Should i be mad or forgive her?


_________________
Diagnosed with
F84.8 (PDD-NOS) 2014
F33.1 Major Depressive Disorder, recurrent, moderate.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Aug 2015, 10:49 am

When you see her next time, ask for an explanation nicely.



Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

11 Aug 2015, 12:02 pm

I had a friend that did this, I excused it since what was I going to do? Eventually this person just bailed for good and I never heard from them again. I don't know what to say really, it could be an honest mistake or it it might be evidence of the type of friend she is.



Sunnyboy2
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 2 May 2015
Posts: 84
Location: Maine

11 Aug 2015, 1:56 pm

I've had very few friends, usually what I called friends were kids my age who lived nearby and I just sort of followed around when it suited me. I wasn't often included in their games, everyone tended to avoid me and I was always told I was very 'flat' or 'off putting'.

Although I had this one friend, she was.... not very nice to me. We had woods out back of our house and there was a little ravine and some sort of clubhouse made by some older kids and she'd constantly ditch me there. I guess I couldn't take a hint back then (I was really clueless on social stuff, sorta still..), I didn't really understand that she was sick of me because I was just being friendly. She'd say 'I'll go meet you at the spot, see you in a bit' and I'd go, play with sticks and realize it was an hour later and no friend.

My mother blamed it on me for not being smart enough, 'falling for it' all the time.. My mom favored my 'friend' over me anyway.

Needless to say, I did stop talking to that person. I actually just sort of went about my business, she was always rude to me throughout school and actually told me she'd push me off the stage during graduation if I touched her hand because we were suppose to hold hands during one of the songs..

I've had so many bad experiences with people, bailing or not, that I might make plans to meet people but I usually make the plans my own and if I don't see them in a specific set of time then I go about my business and do whatever I was going to do. That way I guess I don't feel bad for people not wanting to be around me.



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,388

11 Aug 2015, 9:24 pm

I'd definitely ask her what happened. If it's a good reason, fine. If not, be prepared to move on in the not too distant future, if she keeps doing it. A real friend doesn't yank your chain like that.



jk1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,817

11 Aug 2015, 10:53 pm

Did you both have a mobile phone or access to another type oh phone at the time it happened? If so, she has no excuse.

She used the excuse of being 'confused about the time' and then still didn't show up even after your call. Sounds to me that she really doesn't care. If she cared, she wouldn't be able to treat you in that way. I'd suggest you not be mad or forgive her. Just ditch her.

I've had a 'friend' who often did that and gave me lame excuses such as 'missed the bus', 'went to a wrong place' etc. After a few times of him doing that, I knew clearly he just didn't care and wasn't really a friend. So I ditched him.



Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

12 Aug 2015, 2:48 pm

Thats why I dont want friends. I love just relying on myself and my husband. Friends just let you down.



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,388

12 Aug 2015, 2:53 pm

jk1 wrote:
Did you both have a mobile phone or access to another type of phone at the time it happened? If so, she has no excuse.

("I couldn't get a signal" OR "My battery died") AND ("the call box was out of order") Whether or not to believe it is another matter.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

12 Aug 2015, 2:56 pm

I remember this happened to me a few years ago. I had arranged to meet a friend, and I waited outside Tesco (the place we agreed to meet). I waited for ages, then I decided to phone her to see where she was. And when she answered, she said that she was somewhere else, miles away, and had forgotten our arrangement. It might have been genuine, but it might not have been, I don't know. But I am a disorganised person and have a memory like a sieve, but I still manage to remember to meet a friend, because I don't like letting people down. But it might have been a lie; she might not have felt like meeting up but didn't want to bluntly say ''I don't feel like meeting up with you today''. I'd rather somebody just tell a lie if the truth is going to be upsetting for me, because I'm none the wiser and there's a chance that it could be genuine.

I did get annoyed, but I didn't let her know how I was feeling. I just said ''OK, we will meet up another time''. But I was just annoyed because I had made my way there on the bus and had wasted my time. I should have texted her before I came out. But I'm not going to make it my fault.


_________________
Female