Is it simply "unsafe" to look for friends / relationships?

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existentialterror
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14 Sep 2015, 2:17 pm

I've been on this planet long enough to know that I don't have enough to offer a future friend or romantic partner...

No one has wanted to be in a serious relationship or friendship. Been burned too many times.

Am seriously wondering whether I ought to give up due to safety issues.

For example:

Assume that:

Anyone appearing to want a friendship or relationship must be...

UNSAFE.

Have any of you come to this conclusion and do you think it is a valid thought to consider??



kraftiekortie
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14 Sep 2015, 2:19 pm

Can't say that I've come to that conclusion.

I'm sorry you've been burned.

You do have a future, and you do have the possibility that a different outcome will occur.

Please don't give up.



Earthling
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14 Sep 2015, 2:21 pm

Maybe you need to do things to develop as a person.
Very unspecific I know... but IMO if you develop yourself you will be able to make friends.



Feyokien
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14 Sep 2015, 2:27 pm

Keep trying man, the only people who are truly doomed to fail are those that give up or never try at all. I've known the burn many many times as well man and not just on the causal level of rejection, but from people I really cared about. It hurts but your wounds heal over in time and turn into badass scars. Learn from your mistakes like Earthling said and Grow.



Lukeda420
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14 Sep 2015, 2:53 pm

The world is an inherently unsafe place, so yes dating is unsafe, but that doesn't mean you should give up. And don't sell yourself short, there are so many horrible people who find relationships. There are no agreed upon requirements to be in a relationship, so as long as you can offer love and support, you have enough to offer.

And just to give you some perspective. This is coming from someone who is just now getting over the last rejection. I've been burned badly many times in the past, but I don't think giving up is the right way to respond.

Good luck, and just remember pain is part of life and it just makes you appreciate the good times even more.



kraftiekortie
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14 Sep 2015, 4:19 pm

I bet you have some really interesting interests.

My "special interest" when I was younger was Neanderthal Man.



ToughDiamond
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14 Sep 2015, 8:10 pm

existentialterror wrote:
For example:

Assume that:

Anyone appearing to want a friendship or relationship must be...

UNSAFE.

Have any of you come to this conclusion and do you think it is a valid thought to consider??


I just think that all new people are somewhat unsafe by definition, simply because they're unknown. For me it's a matter of keeping myself safe, materially and emotionally, until they've been around long enough for me to get some kind of handle on what their potential harm profile seems to be. It's a slow process because I tend to play it safe (not having much confidence in my reading skills). I keep myself safe by having low initial expectations of people's particular traits, I'm mindful of the worst that could happen, and I just try to balance the risks with the potential for good interaction.