Am I an aspie? I have no clue, any opinions appreciated.

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Umm, hello I guess. I have an issue, I have been going to a psychologist for some time now because I have a lot of issues, it was just brought my attention by a friend of mine who has Aspergers that I seem to have a lot of traits that could be Aspergers. I also have many traits that I feel opposes Aspergers and I don't want to go to my psychologist and say that I suspect that I am an aspie and be completely incorrect and feel like an utter fool. I would rather talk to people here and try to understand more about myself first before even mentioning it.

I will tell you some things about me that I think could relate to aspergers or completely relate to being neurotypical just to try to put it into perspective I suppose. Also I am 20 years old.


-I am extremely emotional, severely so, to the point that I shut down after a certain point and I simply cannot function. I have been this way since I was a child. If there is a thought in my mind I can't do anything but focus on it until it is gone.

-I also have a very hard time letting go of emotions they hang around for years and haunt me. I will think about a friend I had a fight with and I get suicidal very quickly because I feel like I can't handle what I have done.

-Also I end up doing something different than how I feel on the inside, I almost always say or do something that I regret which usually causes conflicts.

-I struggle with social situations, when the number of people gets over three (including myself) I feel unsure of what I am supposed to do and who to pay attention to. I find myself gravitating toward talking with only one person at a time. When there is a group conversation I have to force myself to say anything or speak up, usually I end up talking to the person closest to me and they relate what I said to everyone else.

-I do pretty good when I am one on one with someone however I end up talking and talking an not realizing that I should have stopped a long time ago. I repeat myself over and over because I feel like they didn't understand what I was trying to say. Also whenever someone else is feeling bad or sad I simply have no idea what to do, I don't know how to being to talking to them, and what I end up saying is just "I hope you feel better." then I leave.

-I am decent at reading facial expression (I think not entirely sure because recently it seems like I mess up sometimes.) However if someone have glasses on it is like the kiss of death, I have no idea what is going on anymore if they are happy, sad, angry... not a clue.

-When I was a child I used to be extremely social, I would never shut up, not once. Maybe it was just me not knowing when to stop talking.

-I can't remember if I used to fiddle with things as a child but now I find myself picking at my skin, shaking my legs, twiddling my fingers, clasping my hands, twirling my hair, and pulling at my earlobe randomly though out the day.

-I have very strong obsessions I will get fixed on something and not stop thinking about it for months, any amount of free time is dedicated to that. My family hates it because I literally won't stop thinking about it or talking about it for at least two weeks. (Smallest time I have every obsessed over something is two weeks.)

-I sometime prefer doing things alone, other times I would really like someone there.

-I have a terrible problem with losing contact with friends and losing them, I have a very hard time trying to talk to anyone, it seems like I can only ever talk to a few people at a time.

-I have only ever had a few close friends at time, usually no more than 3-4, and I have a problem with getting overly attached to specific people.

-I have always struggled with due dates, I recently have gotten better and have been making the due dates in time, but I am almost always working until the last minute.

-My room is almost always a terrible mess, however I have preferences of sorting things, I like to put all bathroom things in a box, all the art supplies in a different box. I then like to sort of things like, theses are paints, these are sewing supplies and I go through phases of wanting everything organized perfectly but them it falls into chaos again. My desk at work however is always super super organized I have to keep it that way, before I leave for lunch I tidy it, if I go to the bathroom I tidy it, and I always put everything away when I leave. If I come back in the morning and realize I forgot something I get angry although that angry doesn't last too long.

-I am unfortunately very easily distracted except when it involves something I am really really interesting in such as art, when I do art I don't even realize what is happening until a few hours later.

-With certain phrases when people say them I think of them literally at first then shift my thought to the normal ways of thinking of it. Usually I end up finding the literal version of the phrase quite funny and sometimes I share it with others.

-When learning certain things I need to do them in order to learn it, watching someone helps, writing instruction seems nearly impossible.

-I am not very fond of physical touch but I deal with it because it is easier than saying "I don't like to be touched." If I feel that I am being touching in an inappropriate or romantic way I immediately run from the situation, I want absolutely nothing to do with it.

-I am asexual/ I have odd sexual preferences. (it is a little bizarre so I will leave out the details)

-I enjoy repetitive menial tasks such as polishing things, stapling papers, or stamping things.

- I understand instructions when given however I normally need to have the instructions written down or I will forget that to do and have to ask a few times.

-I am extremely, severely impulsive. (IT IS HORRIBLE)

-I am also very paranoid and have severe anxiety.

-I dislike when people come over without letting me know.

-I am actually fairly well coordinated and was good in sports and dance. My parents did have me in a ton of sports when I was younger and I started dance from a very young age, 3 years old which probably helped.


This list should actually be much much longer, however my mind is blank... if you have anymore questions I should consider please let me know. I might be adding more if I think of anything more.

Thanks in advance for any opinions and such.

I love my glasses because I have to hit a very high threshold of emotion before I want to mention anything about it.

There' nothing foolish about studying oneself. The more often you're mistaken, the more you'll learn about other people.

You also identify with us more than enough to be welcome on wp.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I'm kind of in the same boat as you, in terms of not being exactly sure where I am.

Neurotypical or aspie, It's okay to be in sort of a mixed bag, it makes it easier to see what's on the other side from where you're currently standing. And I'm kind of assuming that you've been exposed to both sides already.

From what you've shared about yourself, you do seem to share quite a few traits of a person with aspergers. Did you grow up treated as a neurotypical? Did anyone before your friend ever make comments on how you share typical characteristics of someone on the spectrum? Would it bother you if it did turn out that you have aspergers? Would you want a diagnosis?

I know the struggle of trying to juggle a few too many friends at once. I usually say, quality over quantity. Anything less just becomes a chore if it drags out for too long.

cberg- Thank you for the welcome.

Moccu- Yes I was treated as a neurotyical as I was raised, The comments I got as I was growing up were more to the tune of "Why are you so emotional?" "You are so impulsive!" "Stop being so obsessive!". I don't really mind if I am diagnosed with it, I just kinda wanted to know why I have had these problems. Plus it is finally an explanation to my parents because they don't really seem to understand.

Also wanted to say sorry for all the weird spelling in the first post, I was just writing like a manic and now can't edit it, opps!

Android double post

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Parents are by nature skeptical of anything medical we might tell them, simply because of the way we're percieved, (diagnosed, NT or otherwise) I think it will help you to remain indifferent about the diagnosis, in order to present all the variables instead of framing them as scientific fact.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

cberg- I think you are right, it would be best and whatever I am diagnosed with I don't feel very apt to go and tell my family until I considered and learned more myself. I just hope I will have the patience to think things through properly. Currently I have to say I am not indifferent although I should be, I am almost hoping to have asperger's simply because I am wanting something to blame. I know that is improper and I am trying to level my head and get it in my head that the only thing I can blame is myself for my problems. (I just feel like I am getting severely confused.)

Hello Raldia911,

I'm currently in the same boat as you, also. I can relate to almost every point you've mentioned here! The difference is that my psychologist did actually suggest that I may be on the spectrum.

Based on what you've said, I don't think you'd be making yourself out to be a complete fool if you were to bring it up with your psychologist. I would try not to worry about that, because you know yourself and your concerns are legitimate. I think it would be a good step in getting to know yourself better. Even if they don't think you're on the spectrum, but you still feel unsure, you could try to find a professional near you that actually specialises in ASD. Not all psychologists have the knowledge or experience to pick up on high-functioning autism, as symptoms can be masked quite well.

If you do decide to bring it up with your psychologist, perhaps prepare yourself beforehand by going through the DSM-5 criteria of Autism Spectrum Disorder and writing down key symptoms that you think you have. That way they can see you've done some research, and will better help them determine whether you might be on the spectrum.

Oh, I understand that.

Parents always like an explanation for things, and even if you give your more honest response, there's still not a guarantee for them understanding. The best thing to do (I find) is to give yourself a breath and give out a relaxed response. It's a way to deescalate the heavy atmosphere and ensure a calmer reaction from your parents. If both of you are freaking out, then it'll only get worse and lead to no where.

When I was a teenager, I would have some meltdowns and felt overwhelmingly emotional at times. It didn't help that I had a boyfriend throughout my whole high school career, I think that's partially what provoked it since I've never had so many friends/relationships to keep up with up until that point, and there was also lots of household drama. It must have been the raging hormones.

I've grown out of that now (22) and don't have meltdowns anymore, but I still carry anxiety and worry about what other people might think of me. I have pretty low self-esteem, but there are days where I'm inexplicably confident and act so. I'm really contrary at times, so I don't have just one routine of how I go about things. The only set routine I do have is how I do my hair and makeup everyday, I wouldn't be caught dead without grooming myself first.

Myriad- Thank you for the advice, I will definitely try it if I feel comfortable enough to mention it to my psychologist next time. I am still a bit wary.

Moccu- Yeah I have been trying to but I recently had a meltdown, I just started throwing empty boxes everywhere making a racket and then ran off and hid in a corner. The atmosphere wasn't even too bad I just lost it all of a sudden, I had a stressful day at school that day though so I think one frustrated remark from my dad made me lose it.

Yah me too. Same boat.

Everyone's in boats.

Such has been my experience of life at 22, except I spent high school programming until my hands went numb. Worth it lol...

I'm also allergic to routine. I can make a bus commute happen but I never keep the same work/study hours. It must have something to do with uncertainty being in the human condition, regardess of neurology. Might as well reconcile with that...

I'm on a rave cruise...

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Wooh sea vessels!

I mean other people have clearly been stressing you out (probably unrepentantly) but you can save your energy for righteous indignation as opposed to blame and flatly explain to them their transgressions if & when those topics come up.

What do everybody's imaginary boats look like anyways?

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos