NTs don't know me well or just misunderstand me

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This friend told me "but you used to go out with friends and have fun". Well, sometimes I can handle social situations better than usual. The truth is that I never really feel comfortable in social situations. I go out when I'm ready. I go out when I feel like I can handle that specific situation on that specific day. I go out when someone I like is there. It's really complicated to explain. Of course I can have fun and all, still, it doesn't mean I'm like them. I always feel awkward inside and feel like I want to run away after spending a lot of time with people, even close friends. There are times when I withdraw more than usual, there are times when I go out more than usual. Still, it doesn't mean I feel comfortable around people, even friends, cause I never really do. Sometimes I "pass" because I can't really express my feelings of frustration like "hey I'm tired of seeing people now, let me go back home", or feelings like "hey you're making me uncomfortable now", because I keep everything inside most of the time, or don't know how to properly express it or it....yes, it doesn't come natural to me to express my feelings. Most of the time it just doesn't, so other people might think I'm actually okay and having fun.
It's so complicated to explain, I probably make no sense

Yeah, i get that.
Friends of mine have often told me that i had to "step a bit outside of my comfort zone" when i didn't feel up to joining the kareoke for example; but they didn't believe me when i tell them that i'm miles outside of my comfort zone by being within earshot range of a kareoke machine in the first place...

Even though sometimes I want to do something, I get this feeling that there is a huge wall in front of me and can't climb it or break it.
I might want to go out, but there are things I just can't get myself to do and other people find it really weird, but it's totally normal for me.
Sometimes I just give up and end up staying at home because I don't want to waste my energy and make an effort to go meet this or that friend etc (even when I really want to see her/him).

You make perfect sense. Being with people, except my family and girlfriend, takes a lot of energy from me, and I really need to be in my top shape mentally and emotionally to do that. Where I live, most people consider socializing their top priority in life, and tend to look down on those who don't do the same. You're either social, or antisocial. Everything's black or white. You can't be just you, which is really annoying.

Yep, same here. And sometimes it takes a lot of energy to be around family too, for me. But anyway I have to get psychologically and physically ready to stay around people, ready to waste my energy, ready to face the world, in a nutshell.
I got to the point now that I'm just tired to pretend and want to be myself and don't care if people consider me weird or rude or "antisocial".