I feel lost

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Hi everyone,

I am a 25 years old woman working in advertising. In the workplace, people are pretty much the opposite of me. Extraverted, sociable, salespeople types. I love the creative part of my job but I often feel out of place. I made lots of research on the internet about psychology, personality types, anxiety, ADD, autism...

At first I thought I had problems only because I am naturally introverted, but the more I search and the more I believe I might have either social anxiety or mild asperger syndrome. Here are things about me:

-As a child I was very quiet
-I had no problem making friends because I was never taking the spotlight and was accepting of other people and basically adapting my personality to every person I met.
-I had obsessions on certain subjects. For one year all my school projects were about ants, the next year about another animal...
-I had perfect spoken and written language ( english is not my first language ) at an early age.
-I was very bad in sports, around 9 years old, I remember a class in gym I could not figure how to jump on one foot across the room.
-One day at my birthday I had about 10 friends invited. I was having a good time until I got a gift from someone it was a small video game. I played the game alone the whole afternoon and did not play with my friends at all.
-I have been told I sometimes look stiff or emotion-less, even snobbish.
-In high school one day one of my friends was very sad and crying because of something. While everybody went to hug her, I chose not to. I believed she might not want all the attention and maybe would prefer to be left alone, like I would have if I was sad.
-I look very focused when I am at work.
-I have lots of anxious thoughts, often. Most of the time completely irrational.
-I am very picky about food and always leave something in my plate. I feel like the last bite is never good.
-I had imaginary friends as a child and liked to create and imagine characters and impossible worlds.
-I wrote a book as a pre-teen in french class and my teacher thought I had copied from somewhere she could not believe I wrote this by myself.
-I had bosses yell at me for something I said that I had no idea was offensive.
-I either don't care at all or am VERY passionate and intense.

Things that are "normal"

-I still have lots of friends and no problem making new acquaintances
-I am fine with physical contact, hugging, kissing, etc. ( I have been told I am a great kisser lol )
-I have tried 2 times MDMA. It's a party drug that increase all senses. I loved that. I did not feel overwhelmed at all just big hard fun.
-I can dance for hours.
-I like partys but I enjoy them more when I am very drunk and there are lots of things going on. If not I get very bored and "zone-out" mentally.
-I kind of need very quiet alone me time OR very intense stimulating environment. I get exhausted in between.
-I suck at math.
-Oh yes, also I am messy, I don't have the need to have everything in place.


That's all I can think of for now.

I really wonder if I learned social cues by experience and because I am in communication business, or not.

I am very lost.

Any help appreciated.

Thank you very much.

I think your best bet is to see your doctor and ask to be referred onto a specialist. This is what I did, I was referred to a new psychiatrist and assessed. I think the process differs wherever you are, but usually I think your first step would be to see your doctor and explain this to them so they can put you in touch with the relevant people.
There are things you've listed that stand out to me, that I can relate to, but really that doesn't mean anything because many people not on the spectrum will be able to relate to stuff you've noted down.
My husband isn't on the spectrum but he sometimes displays similarities.
When I suspected myself, I researched into it and listed nine pages going from as early as I could pinpoint, right to now. It was at the very least, helpful for myself. The psychiatrist didn't need to read it before telling me he could clearly see that I'm on the spectrum. Make an appointment and discuss it