I do not know if friends stick around me out of condescending pity, or if they really do appreciate my companionship.
There are about three friend I have IRL that O trust absolutely. Everybody else I do not know how to properly read. I get the impression that they think my autism diagnosis means they should treat me differently, and they are somewhat lost because they do not know that I want to be treated like a normal human being.
Actually, a couple of people said that much to me, which I appreciated.
But then there are some people who may or may not associate me with the r-word. They remain aloof around me, cordial, but uncomfortable. They seem to want to get away from me as rapidly as possible. There are only a handful of people in my life who send me these vibes, and I do not know what to make of it. They usually talk to me as if I were a spoiled preschooler. Not cool.
But when I meet people for the first time, I have not a clue how to read them. I know that my speech impediments lead many people to assume I suffer from intellectual disabilities until they get to know me better. It is always a gamble, putting myself out there with my anxieties and my inability to read most body language.
Does this post make sense?
04 Apr 2016, 10:11 pm
