How do you cope with Christmas

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So I've reached that time of year again where I'm starting to receive Christmas invites. My misses' parents split up a while ago, so we have both of her parents to visit, as well as my parents. The thought of visiting my parents isn't so bad, but I absolutely dread the thought of ever visiting hers, especially at Christmas when there are other relatives there too. The commotion, the attention, the pressure, the visual and audible sensory overload, etc. It's all too much. I will be thinking about it everyday from now until then, and dreading every moment of it.

Do you guys share in this struggle, and do any of you have any tips?

I hate all the noise and confusion of "larger" Christmas gatherings. I like quiet Christmas morning with my husband and our sons.

When I have social obligations for Christmas, I plan to take plenty of bathroom breaks. I make sure nobody else is waiting for the bathroom and then I'll stay in there a bit longer than necessary just to be in the quiet for a bit and to recharge.

A long walk in the afternoon helps. A little. Last year was really bad. I needed a sleeping pill in order to calm down from the meltdown that ensued.

My approach is usually to track down the red wine, keep a low profile until everyone is basically socializing with everyone else, then find a quiet corner and weather the storm.

Luckily for me, Christmas is spent at home with my Mum, and then usually on Boxing Day or later on we get together with our relatives. I mostly end up reading something in a comfy chair unless someone actively wants to talk to me.

Christmas is horrible, a time when people try to show off who is the best at shopping, how little they know you, pressures into social gatherings, too much food for the alcohol to really take the edge off the stress, artificial happiness.

My best Christmases have been spent with strangers in a strange place. I find it really awkward to have a day when you officially celebrate family - I can love my family any day I choose and Christmas is rarely a day I feel like that.

I have no answer for coping with Christmas, it is something that we must endure or avoid. One way I always got away with, was volunteering to work through the Christmas period.

Someone already mentioned the bathroom disappearance technique. That's a good one.

Sit far from the central spot. Let others do all the talking. Suggest a film or show on TV. Look at their photo albums and zone out for awhile on each page, pretending to look at the photos. Offer to help in the kitchen, away from the social conversation.

Fake illness. Then fake your own death.

I don't even go to my family holiday functions. It isn't worth the headache, exhaustion, boredom, empty conversation and pretending to care about relatives I barely know. My mom has stopped inviting me. Just refuse. Or cut a deal to the effect that you'll greet everyone, then hide for the remainder of the festivities and re-appear at dinner.

All I have is my immediate family, I try to enjoy it for what it is in small doses with the knowledge that my bed somewhere else is waiting for me. I don't get invited to parties and celebrate it in any way, I try not to even pay attention to it besides when I buy gifts.

Tell me about it...

I do definitely feel the sensory overload at family gatherings. People have gotten used to me sitting there and doing nothing. Most don't bother starting a conversation with me, but then again, I couldn't care less about their newest shiny expensive toy.

Either I watch television (read: try to hear what's going on over the party noise - I have no idea why people turn on the tv if they're not going to watch it ), play with the pets, or play with my phone.

When I was a kid, I used to breathe a sigh of relief when some of my cousins would break away into another room with a film or game console - Unfortunately, they're "too old for that kid stuff now", and have grown into the adults Skurvey describes.

They actually do that so that there will be more noise.

During the family gathering on christmas eve, wich is held at a different family member's house every year (Not mine because I live in an appartment) I usually go in the basement with my 2 gamer cousins who don't really mind my weirdness. We manage to have quite a lot of fun sometimes.

There are some things I k*e about Christmas - it's not all bad!

I don't like lying to my children about Santa.

I don't like the whole present thing. The theory is lovely but in practice I just find it uncomfortable. I love giving presents but am always disappointed wih what I get (the White lie muscle gets a lot of practice at Christmas!)

I agree wine and toilet breaks are excellent ways to ease the pressure of the big day.

Also, embrace the Good bits - I like the tree and lights, scented candles and watching Charlie Brown Christmas. Time off from work is great too.