Ugh! Can't "Get" Sheet Music

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This may not be something everyone here can relate to; as I understand things, I'm in the minority as I DON'T think visually and in fact have tremendous problems processing things I'm looking at. I can't remember faces very well, much to my embarrassment, and when I think, daydream or recall (well, the latter two involve thinking...but you get the idea), it's in sounds primarily, with, sometimes, shadowy images.

But the worst problem I have is when there's a lot of "stuff" to look at all at once. Remember those old tests, "Stare at this picture for 2 minutes, then turn the page and answer the questions?" I have ALWAYS been a failure at those.

I also have severe depth perception issues...I'll go to catch a ball, am 100% certain of where it's going to, lift the mitt and the ball falls down next to me. So, stuff like that.

The mechanism is: I see "lots of stuff" all together - on a page, on the TV, IRL (grocery stores UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Confusion!) or wherever, and all of a sudden I just can't...understand any of them. I instinctively strain my eyes harder although it's not technically a vision acuity problem at all. All of a sudden, everything is a jumble and nothing makes sense.

With this said, my son is learning violin. I have always wanted to learn an instrument, started several times with the violin, flute and recorder but what stopped me was...the sheet music confused me so badly that I'd be in tears, and I'd give things up before I really started. But now that my son is learning, I once again have the urge to learn, as I love music so very much. Always have. Anyway, I can see the strings, we are starting on the open note strings, E, A, D and G. Piece of cake. I just recall, in my head, the order of the letters. I realize things will get more complex than this, LOL, but...so far, so good. (For my son, too.)

But when trying to "read" the notes while playing them...OMG. Where's E again? Where's A? And why? I semi-remember a few tricks...for example, FACE going upward in the open spaces. But then I have to "count" those upward to see which it is, then play the note. Rather prohibitive and takes a while!

G is...a few lines down below the staff? Is it two? Three? I JUST looked at it and I can't remember.

What happens is, I see all these shapes and lines that are meaningless to my actual experience, they're all similar - little pointy ovals, some with staffs going up or down - or just...lines and spaces. Which is which, again?

I am so sad about this. I really want to learn. Is this an ASD thing? Or is it something NTs might experience too...is this hard? (I try to guard against deciding "everything" must be due to ASD. Some things just aren't!) Will I ever "get it"? Does anybody else have this visual difficulty, and in particular, has anybody else had this issue with trying to learn to read music and if so, did things improve as you practiced?

I have similar visual problems as you.

When I leave a room, I can only remember the most prominent components contained in the room. I can't remember minute details.

I've always done poorly in visually-oriented tests. When I was administered an IQ test at age 15, I scored about a 50 (i.e., "moderately intellectually disabled") in the test which dealt with visually discerning social situations.

I've gotten better since then--but visual-spatial things remain a salient weakness in me.

Actually, it is theorized, one distinction between Asperger's and HFA is that Aspergians are relatively poor in the visual realm; whereas people with HFA have enhanced visual/spatial abilities.

It kind of sounds like you are trying to learn to read too many notes at a time. Learn only two at a time and you should be able to keep track of which is which. Then once you get used to looking at those, add one or two more at a time.

Also, if the sheet music you are using has too much stuff on the page, get some other music. You can actually make your own with free software such as MuseScore, then print it out. Make the notes large and only create a few staffs per page. Typing in the notes should help you to remember them.

Also, try the note recognition exercises on this free site: http://www.musictheory.net/exercises/note

You can set it to only test you on a few notes at a time with the options in the upper right of the web page.

I was also going to suggest trying to make the sheet music bigger.
It also helps to learn in as many multi-sensory ways as possible.
After figuring out which note you need to play, play it and say the note name at the same time, while looking at the note on the paper.
This is very slow-going.
But you learned how to read. Reading music is not very different. The written music is representative of sounds, just like letters of a word are. You can associate the notes on the page with where you place your fingers, just as you can type on a keyboard.
Be patient with yourself.

Learn to read (and practice reading) the notes for one string at a time, low to high. On g string, learn to read g, a, b, c. On d string, learn to read d, e, f, and g. On the a string, learn to read a, b, c, and d. On the e string, learn to read e, f, g, a. This will take you all the way from the bottom to the top of the treble staff. Voila.

What book is your son using to learn?
Some books are just not as "intuitive" as others.

The notes on the staff are easier to read than notes above or below the staff, so I'd start with learning the D string, which seems to be pretty standard for beginning violin books.

Also, at the beginning, do not try to bow all your notes. Just finger them and pluck the string (pizzicato.) And, you do not have to hold your violin the proper way at the beginning. Some method books suggest holding the violin "guitar style" while learning where to place your fingers to produce the right tones and learning to read the music. This way, you can see better while placing your fingers. Getting tape placed on the fingerboard for first position finger locations is also a standard help for beginners. This helps reduce confusion about where to place your fingers while you are trying to learn to read the music, and it also helps with intonation.

When i play music off a sheet, i don't really read it myself: i have trained myself to simply play using muscle memory.
I see a note and just play it, but when asked what it was, it takes me a few seconds to figure that one out, counting lines and all that.
As stated, music notation is just like learning to read a new language, playing it is learning how to 'speak' sign language, matching your finger positions (and, depending on the instrument, applying the proper breathing technique), to the written sound.

This takes practice, a lot of practice, especially if you start at an older age. children have a period in their lives where they can pick up languages easily, which includes music, but at some point (i believe it was around 12, but i'm unsure), you lose that ability and never regain it. You can still learn languages (music notation), but you'll never be as fluent as you could have been, should you have started younger.

Quite a lot of musicians can't read music and can only play by ear. And some of them have been very great performers, famous and startlingly original.

This is such good information. Thanks so much for all the answers. What I'm getting overall is to take things in smaller bites, so to speak. Master two notes or one string (yes, my son's class has started with the D string) and then go on to the next one.

The book is Essential Elements for Strings, 2000, Violin.

I did pick up reading very early - fluent reading with comprehension/novel/new books (not memorization) at age 3 - but I too have heard languages are harder the older one gets, and I hadn't thought about reading music as its own language. But you all are right, it really is.

I am going to keep at it! I think my son likes that I'm learning with him.

And I love the sound...it's...mellow..."throaty"...not as screechy with these early efforts as I expected for either me or my son...and I am able to make that trembly thing at the end of notes...what is that called...the tremolo?

It's true. I doubt that Jimi Hendrix could read music--and he's considered, virtually without question, the greatest guitarist ever. He composed many of his songs, too.

Jazz music is based on improvisation. The sheet music is only the foundation, the "basis" for a piece. Jazz adapts itself to the situation, to the musician's whims.

You have to be methodical about it.
If you have to count every space/every line, reading music is hard work. Forget about FACE and EGHDF. It´s just confusing. It vil just be like looking at a sheet sprinkeled with fly s**t - especially if you have any minor dysfunction in the reading apartment. (i myself have difficulty shifting line and landing on the right line and keeping fixation).

Learn to read triads. SING triads, - preferably on note names, until you are absolutely sure, how it looks and sounds. It´s a piece of cake once you know how a C looks and sounds, an a minor, an F and so on.
Know your scales and your triads, you´ve come a long way. Make somebody train intervals with you.
There are scales and triads hidden in every melody. The rest is filling in.
Later a harmony course will do the trick for you.

It´s important to SING those things, because YOU PLAY WITH YOUR EARS.

You are welcome to send me a pb, if you want.

a matter of method