Hi all, I'm back. I'm going to give you a perspective of what life is like for me now, at this moment.
Right now I happen to be going through some difficult times. I just lost the potential to be independent because there was this housing complex I tried getting into since 2012 just two towns away from me, needless to say, it didn't fare very well. You see, the housing coordinator gave the advantage to people who live in the same town the housing is located. I was supposed to get a single apartment due to my food allergies, but it turns out I ended up getting a shared instead because there was this guy who lives in the town and he got the single first. So we check out my potential roomates info, because I can't live in a house with someone if I would have a risk of an allergic reaction living there. His mom claimed he had a milk allergy on the forms, but wait till you guys hear what happened next. So, we go to this meeting where everyone who is going into the apartments meets up with one another to discuss future plans. My potential roommate was there so we pulled him and his mother aside and started talking to them about the food allergy I have. At first it seemed like he really did have an allergy, but then his mom started to show signs of fabricating everything, and just basically admitting she made it up so he would have a better chance of getting into the single apartment. The kid himself was worried sick that this wouldn't work out. Apparently, he also has this big family that comes round each year and they have dairy products. The result was I couldn't move in with him, so I had to reject the shared. I begged and pleaded to the head of this organization to please switch me with the person going into the single, but it fell on deaf ears. They told me I would have to wait 4 or 5 YEARS for the next closest housing development, I can try for another sooner but its all the way across the county, and I would have to start my life completely from scratch. This frustrates me. I feel stifled in my home, and I really wanted to be independent.
Next issue is my job. Day in and day out I have to go to this ruthless dead end job which I hate with a burning passion. Its so monotonous and you get paid hardly anything for working like a slave. I had an interview for two jobs last month but I didn't get either job, however another lead popped up from someone at my old school district. She however cannot guarantee a position for me as she said there may no longer be room on the roster and she would have to wait till the schools schedule stabilizes. I heard this three weeks ago, still no response. My current job is closing but changing over to a new store, so even though I'm likely gonna be stuck there, I'm gonna hate it just as much as working at this store. I sincerely wish there was a way out of this.
For friends and romance, I have not been able to make any progress no matter how hard I try with meeting new people, especially women. I examined my friends list to see who was a friend and who wasn't and I narrowed it down to two people, my only IRL friend who has been flakey lately and is the one who wants to mess up the computers but that issue has been resolved, and an online female friend who lives in Tennessee who I will likely never be able to meet. I am having so much trouble meeting others, and loneliness has been so prolonged its causing me physical and mental symptoms.
My therapist sessions have become the highlight of my week, and I am thinking of extending my sessions to twice a week because once a week of CBT isn't cutting the depression down and I want to try to avoid taking meds. He always sympathizes and he's been through some of the same problems I've had.
School is going good, thats the only stable part of my life right now. I do it whenever I'm feeling down and its a good go to mechanism for stress.
Is there any advice out there? Also has anyone ever had these types of things happen before? Post down below. Thanks.
26 Sep 2015, 5:42 pm
