nt looking for some advice on making an as nt relationship w

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Hi everyone I'm dating an as woman and fell in love with her prior to knowing such I'm looking for any advice or suggestions on how to make this a healthy loving and functional relationship.I'm more then willing to do whatever I have to to make this work.

It will be helpful if you can specify what areas you need help with, but here are some general tips I've found work well in my relationship. Other folks can weigh in on what works for them.

- Learn as much as you can about Asperger's Syndrome/Autism. Things that you would never think about, like sensory sensitivities, can be a very big issue for her. There are some books on Asperger's and relationships on Amazon.com.

- Ask her questions about it too! Each person experiences AS differently. Some have sensory sensitivities (in which some textures, sounds, lights, or tastes are uncomfortable or painful), some don't. Some can't read facial expressions, others can, and so on.

- You may need to tell her your feelings verbally. Folks with AS are not always good at reading other people's facial expressions and body language. Others have gotten fairly decent at it.

- Be specific about what you want and don't want, in a calm tone. For example: SO-SO: "I need more time with you." BETTER: "Let's go to the movies tonight!" or "Want to cuddle on the sofa?" NOT GOOD: "I hate it when you criticize me." BETTER: "I feel defensive and angry when you say that."

- There may be times when she is not expressing her feelings. Be patient. It could be that she isn't sure what they are yet. She's not trying to hide them, she's still processing them. I've found that my feelings can take hours, days, or even years to resolve into something comprehensible. Until I work out what they are, my emotions can just be a jumbled, swirly, vague feeling.

- She will probably need to work in some "alone time" into her day, especially if she was around a lot of people. A lot of us need to "decompress" from the pressures of being around others. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you--this is a de-stressor time.

Hope this helps.