judge of character

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is any1 else here a horrible judge of character??

i goto a jiu jitsu class that is really an MMA class. i only go to the jiu jitsu parts cuz i like the smart submition gi/no gi wrestling. i dont goto the kick boxing part because i do not like hitting ppl. but this guy i know from the gym where i work out at was at the mma club i goto one day, he said he used to do it at some other place but wanted to try it here.
he saw i wasnt really into the boxing, so he wanted to show me some boxing stuff. we both geared up and he showed me some stuff. he noticed i didnt seem to like to punch ppl in the face, so he was like "punch me!" "harder!" "harder!" etc. then when i finally allowed myself to punch him as hard as i could, all my body weight into it, he smiled. he seemed to like it.
later we start boxing, then he starts doing some rythem stuff, i get into the rythem and it was pretty cool. then he was showing me these clever ways to protect ur face and come in low and do an upper cut. then he does it to me, and i didnt know how to respond to it. he told me to elbow him in the top of the head when he puts his head down like that. i pointed out how u cant do that in boxing and he smiled and said "this is mma".
it seemed to get more and more violate as we went on. i thought he was just trying to show me this stuff isnt so bad, and while we where doing it, it was pretty cool. i had no idea there was as much a science to it as there is to jiu jitsu. by the end of it we both had bloody lips and everything.
the guys i normally grapple with there seemed impressed by his strength and my willingness to box him. i thought they respected him. then the next day he didnt come back. every1 started talking about him while he was not there, saying he was on steroids for how he got so strong, and on meth or coke or something while at the class, for his actions w/ me.
so did every1 see this drugged up roids guy boxing with me, being violent and ruff, knowing i had no idea this was out of the ordinary, and not tell me? would they have been intimidated by him? why wasnt i? ive seen this guy lift more weight w/ 1 hand then i could w/ my whole body, yet i was never intimidated by him.

I sometimes think I like someone then realise they're actually not a very nice person.
Other times I think someone doesn't like me when apparently they do, I don't know if that's a similar thing.
I never really thought I was a particularly bad judge of character though, until recently when other people have told me I've been quite naive and not necessarily noticed when people have been taking advantage of me in the past.
I always want to think someone's going to be nicer than they sometimes are. I'm a bit paranoid about that though now.

I'm told I lack common sense, but I dunno if that's the same thing as a bad judge of character. I'm not sure what people mean by common sense, either. I thought it was not doing things that were obviously not good, like touching a hot stove burner. I'm starting to think they meant judging people instead of actions because they always point out that I have no common sense when I haven't done anything wrong.

Sapho_soph writes,
I sometimes think I like someone then realise they're actually not a very nice person.
Other times I think someone doesn't like me when apparently they do, I don't know if that's a similar thing.
I never really thought I was a particularly bad judge of character though, until recently when other people have told me I've been quite naive and not necessarily noticed when people have been taking advantage of me in the past.
I always want to think someone's going to be nicer than they sometimes are. I'm a bit paranoid about that though now.

I aim for optimistic pessimism instead of paranoia. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Doesn't always work, unfortunately.

People DO get intimidated by such guys. And that is probably part of the reason they didn't tell you. For some reason, one Autism symptom is a lack of fear around such things. Frankly, I haven't even been afraid a lot of places I should have been. If I didn't dislike pain, or disability, I would probably be totally fearless. Still, I can tolerate some pain that others can't believe. One guy actually tried to burn my arm with a cigarette, and I ignored him. He kept at it, and my arm looked like hot oil was spilled on it with blisters and all. I also didn't treat this one bully any better because lake half his weight was MUSCLE. He obviously wasn't very smart, and was taking steroids. Today he's probably very week, or DEAD from all that steroid use.

Steve

I'm a pretty good judge of character.

Although when I am wrong, i'm usually quite wrong. It's only happened a few times, though.

I try and be more optimistic but I can't help wondering all the time whether people see me as an 'easy target' because I'm quite quiet and awkward in social situations.
I think I lack common sense in some situations, like in school when we were told to do anything, everyone else would always just get on with it, while I'd still be sitting wondering exactly what we were supposed to be doing, they never used to explain properly. I remember burning my fingers getting things out of the oven with just my hands as well (sounds silly I know lol). I hated cooking things in school, I still can't do it now.

these days I tend to keep most people an equal distance away from me, regardless of their chrarcter...I would rather not really know what their character is..I would rather be unaffected...(with the exception of Flakey)...um....occasionally...once in a blue moon..someone will be able to swim through my filter for a short while...be it a good or bad thing...and then I have to deal with their personality up close for some reason...but not often.
There are a few people I have trouble liking right off the bat...and often I have a correct assesment...or I am not the only one who feels that way......
(this coming from an anti-social person who is around alot more people on a regular basis than I am naturally comfortable with.)
When I was much younger, I was an awful judge of character...and it got me into a heap of humiliation...but I guess i was more desperate for friends in those days or something.

It's the ones who smile too much all the time, who cause me the most trouble.

It's the ones who smile all the time and want to hug alot and want to pay lots of unwanted attention to me that cause me the most trouble....aaaaaarrgh

Sapho_soph Writes,
I think I lack common sense in some situations, like in school when we were told to do anything, everyone else would always just get on with it, while I'd still be sitting wondering exactly what we were supposed to be doing, they never used to explain properly. I remember burning my fingers getting things out of the oven with just my hands as well (sounds silly I know lol). I hated cooking things in school, I still can't do it now.

It's alright, some people just aren't gifted in the culinary arts.

I have problems with knives and stoves myself, I blame it on my vision and coordination.

I suppose I gave an inadequately explained example. What I consider a lack of common sense is doing stomething like touching a hot burner constantly and being able to take into consideration the results and also being able to adjust behavior to correct it. Everyone makes mistakes, so I don't count once in awhile as lacking common sense, unless it happens constantly. But then, I also think it's possible to lack 'common sense' in specific areas, and to have it in others. Strongly suspect some of it's related to memory storage and retrieval. But to the best of my knowledge where I live I've mainly heard common sense used as a catch-all bin. I find it incredibly irritating in conversations trying to figure out what someone else means by common sense in rl, because there's just enough difference in people's definitions to make me unsure of what they mean.

Got this from Wikipedia,

There are two general meanings to the term "common sense" in philosophy. One is a sense that is common to the others, and the other meaning is a sense of things that is common to humanity.

So by common to others I'm assuming social interaction...stuffs, like how people are taught to judge character and first impressions. By common to humanity I'm thinking results of concret actions that have expected results that don't vary in different cultures and social expectations.

I like to take solace in that common sense doesn't seem to be common at all, as I find humanity making mistakes that could go in either of the wiki's definitions of common sense all the time.

matt271, that same thing could have totally happened to me. I'm horrible at noticing things like that too. I've been known to get sucked into conversations with meth heads or just plain psychos without realizing what was going on.