Is This an Effective Idea?

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I have rather a problem concerning driving. It's called other people!

In all seriousness, I almost never speed, because I'm very afraid of ever getting pulled over (I was once, for a burned out headlight, and it's an experience I'd never like to repeat). As you can imagine, this habit irritates the rest of the drivers on the road (I don't understand why everyone always seems so perpetually impatient while driving), and they end up tailgating and driving ridiculously close to my bumper (I was doing 55 on a highway once and the guy behind me was literally inches off my back end.) This sort of behaviour infuriates me, so I was considering creating a bumper sticker in bright red and yellow that reads, "I'm autistic. Tailgaters make me anxious. Please keep your distance and thank you for understanding." Do you think this would work to get people to back off, or would they just take advantage of the knowledge that I dislike tailgaters, and do it deliberately just to piss me off, as has happened to me so many times before? I considered making an aggressive one, but I figured making people angry wasn't going to get me anywhere. Advice is appreciated!

IMO they will think it's a joke and laugh at you.

That's kind of what I was afraid of.

Well, I suppose no one wants anxious people in the traffic so I guess yes, many will keep a distance. I'm not sure which other reactions it may cause though...

I have similar anxieties about driving.

I usually try a few tricks...one is to drive in the right-hand lane if there are two or more same-direction lanes...because the right lane is the "slow lane" and people can go over to another lane rather than tailgating if they're annoyed at the speed at which I'm driving. Another is to, when possible, drive during lesser-traffic times. This isn't always feasible but when it is, I'll do it. (Including doing my grocery shopping well after dinnertime as the commuters are mostly home by then, things like that.) Another is to pull over, if I can, into a parking lot or whatever is immediately available to me and allow people to pass.

For regular travel, if I can, I'll find a "lower traffic" route.

Motorists do that because you're doing something wrong that pisses THEM off. So the bumper sticker would most likely be irrelevent.

For example:

If you habitually drive in the left lane (ie the "fast lane") of a limited access highway at 55 you have to expect people to tailgate behind you. They do that to send you the message to "either change your lane, or change your speed". So you either go right and drive in the slower lanes, or you speed up to keep pace with the traffic in the lane you're in).

That "Lead, follow, or get out of the way" message that theyre trying to send you is the one and only reason anyone would tailgate you. So figure out what you're doing to piss off others, and just stop and doing it.

I always drive in the right hand lane unless I'm about to turn left. Most of my trouble with tailgating comes from people behind me on single lane roads. I don't see why I should have to break the law just because they're impatient.

Best to just not worry about them. Dont forget, some of them are also just.... really freaking stupid. Or may even be doing it because it allows them some measure of "control" over someone else.

I remember one time, me and a friend were on our way to a convention over in Iowa, which is about 4 hours from where I'm at. It's a loooooong and very boring road, and has next to no traffic on it most of the time, despite that it's an interstate highway. So, I'm driving along, I'm in the left lane, there is NOBODY ELSE AROUND (and I mean that literally) until finally someone slowly comes up from behind.

At this point, there's STILL nobody around. Not one other car. Just me, and this idiot.

So what does he do? Tailgates. And I knew full well WHY he was doing it. Just as is mentioned here, it's the typical "get out of my lane! I need to go fast!" type of crap. When he could just, you know.... switch into the TOTALLY EMPTY LANE beside him and just do that instead.

But no. He kept this up, for about 10 straight minutes. I slowed down a bit, too, since at this time I was getting overly curious to see just how derpy this would get. Eventually my friend starts laughing, and points to the rear-view mirror, and I look back and can see this guy's wife making big gestures at him that look like "DAMMIT JOE, WOULD YOU JUST SHIFT LANES ALREADY?" until he finally did. I swear, the guy probably added a full 20 minutes onto his trip just trying to boss someone around on the road. And the road really was EMPTY that entire time. He had been the only car I'd even encountered in probably an hour. Very boring, that area.

But yeah, people do that. Sometimes that's the only motivation they need: THEY want to be king of the road, not let anyone else be that. Despite the nonsensicalness of that "title", that's how some people genuinely think. You can often tell someone's doing this if they make a big show about trying to pass you (or someone else), and then once they do pass.... they really dont actually go any faster than you were. They just wanted to be "in first". I've seen friends do this while I'm riding with them... it's almost embarrassing. I refrain from snapping at them though (best not to yell at the person doing the driving).

Mostly though, just know what the rules are, follow them, and dont let anyone else get to you. If they want to break the rules.... let them. It's their own risk and their own fault if they end up getting pulled over for it. No point in you getting yourself pulled over because of worrying too much about what they might do.

Hi StarTrekker. I totally understand your anxiety. What I have learned is best is to actually drive with the flow of traffic. It's actually much much safer. Even if it's more than the speed limit if you are with the flow you should not get pulled over or they would have to pull over every single motorist. But if you are much slower than the flow you can actually become the cause of an accident especially on the highway. I have been driving for over thirty years and in every weather condition day or night. Once I got the hang of staying with the flow of traffic it actually became much easier and it greatly reduces anxiety. And it makes you a safer driver. Give it a try and see if it helps.

On single-lane roads, it is considered rude to be holding up a line of cars, even if you are going exactly the speed limit. If you can see other people want to pass you, find a place where you can pull over, and let them.

However, for myself, if someone is tailgating with no real reason, I simply slow down. At an imperceptible rate, my speed creeps downward. I would rather get rear-ended at 35 mph than at 55 mph! Also I like the idea of raising the blood pressure of the tailgating knuckle-dragging twerp.

Not recommending this to anyone, but it's what I do.

I do believe some people follow quite closely out of habit. I have been riding with drivers who do that. On occasion I ask them to leave more space between themselves and the car ahead. They comply for a bit, but before you know it, they are on that car's bumper again. I do not believe it is meant as any kind of social gesture, it's just a bad habit.

Oh and as to the bumper sticker - too long to read at high speed. How about "I slow down for tailgaters."

Last edited by BeaArthur on 26 Oct 2015, 8:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Like Misery said in her story, some people are just idiots no matter what you do or don't do. I was driving yesterday and it was rush hour. I was in a long line of traffic, pretty backed up and moving super slowly in a one lane in each direction street. There was no way for anyone to pass anyone else and everyone was just stuck in that line of traffic. In that situation the best thing to do is to just be patient and get through it. But what does the guy behind me do? For an entire mile of barely moving traffic he starts honking at me, trying to make moves like he is trying to get around me, flipping me the finger, cursing and yelling. I was like, "what's your problem? I am stuck in this line just like everyone else. I can't magically make the cars in front of me disappear or fly off just because you want to get by." Some people will just be ___ holes no matter what so you just have to shrug them off and try not to let them bother you. But having said that, staying with the flow of traffic will help you not create a traffic jam or road rage situation so if you can manage that you will do okay.

I had a cop tail gate me once for no reason. I slammed on my brakes! Haha, caught him off guard! He kept a safe distance after that.

I had my car totaled and my son and I both suffered permanent injury due to not breaking a traffic law (or at least a rule, I doubt you'll see this one in the books but you'll see what I mean in a minute). Please know, OP, that I am NOT trying to frighten you into not obeying traffic rules! I'm just relating an experience.

I was behind a car that was making a left onto a side street. It was a single lane. I could have gone past her to the right and would have to have driven up on someone's lawn partially to do this - and believe it or not, I have seen people do this! I'd seen it in that exact spot more than once as it was a busy general area because there was a school right there and parents were always taking their kids to school at that time of morning. I was taking my own son to school. He was 13.

Suddenly I was rammed from behind..directly into a mini-van. I was in a little Pontiac Sunbird. (I loved that car!) The repercussion had me and my son slamming forward into the van, backward into the lady who hit us, then forward, then back...oh, I don't know, it's so fuzzy now, we were so scared, maybe three back-and-forths?

My son and I were in utter shock when the car stopped and he was actually the one who pulled it together. He was able to get out his side but I was unable to get out mine, so I got out on his side. The car was "smooshed" forward tin can-esque. This was all because the lady behind me apparently was impatient and came down the road fast, expecting me to "just go" past the mini-van (by driving up on the person's front lawn and then back down onto the road). I hadn't stopped suddenly and surprised the lady behind me or anything. In fact we'd already been at a full stop for what felt like a long time (because when you're waiting in traffic, it always does, doesn't it?) - I'd estimate around a minute and a half to two minutes? I mean...that time, at a full stop, not moving at all, not giving any impression that I was in the act of moving forward.

My son has neck problems to this day despite six months of follow-up medical treatment...our treatments ran out (insurance) at one point so I could only afford his as cash, so I stopped going. I am permanently "bent" just a bit to one side and actually measured shorter after the accident than I had before due to this. I never was able to really get this fixed. Have been to chiropractic off and on since then but things have just never been the same.

People are crazy (sometimes). I would never play games, slow down to pizz the person off or do anything at all to annoy a fellow driver because God only knows who that person is. I mean you really don't know. It could be anybody...literally. I never did figure out what the person who hit me's problem was but she seemed to think it was all my fault and I should have just driven out of the way. People can be nuts.

That's not advice or anything else but just relating an experience...this all haunts me to this day, it was so horrible and every once in a while I just get it off my chest...and here are people talking about weird experiences. This was mine.

In Ontario it is universally accepted that the posted speed limits are the speed minimums. You would probably get a ticket if you went under the posted limit which I always thought was weird because limit is supposed to mean the max you can go. It is all backwards here.

Thanks for the responses guys. Skibum, I've missed you! I haven't seen you around in a while I'd love to have seen the look on that cop's face when you hit the brakes! I'll give your flow of traffic idea a go and see what happens.

NowhereWoman, your experience sounds scary! I've never been in a car crash before, and I hope it never happens. I'm surprised the woman who caused the accident wasn't required to use her insurance to cover your medical costs, it would seem only fair.

BeaArthur, why is going the speed limit considered "holding others up"? Is it just generally expected that everyone is always going to be going too fast for no real reason? It greatly bothers me how little regard most people seem to have for rules they consider "small" or "unimportant". They're rules for a reason.

I usually go with the flow, to a limit.
Most people want to go like 5 km (2-ish miles) over the limit, regardless of what the limit is (why is beyond me, i just accept it as a fact), so i do that too.
The police doesn't care about this small bit of 'civil disobedience', so you won't get pulled over either.
Plus, we have a rule where you have to 'take the right-most lane available' if at all possible, but that is joined with only being allowed to pass on the left.

Now, a**holes still exist, i had one just this morning; on a 3-lane road, the right lane was full of trucks, the left lane was empty, and i was on the central lane, doing the usual "limit+2" speed.
This guy comes up, tailgates me and does this whole 'swerve left and right' thing, while the left lane is fully empty still.

Just ignore them and keep going at the speed you were (assuming you were driving at the roads speed limit, if you were below that, please speed up untill you are). Noone should force you to go over the speed limit at any time.