For those of you that are self diagnosed: how do you know?

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I hear a lot of people getting self diagnosed on this website and i just dont get it. Asperger's is a tough thing for even professionals to diagnose and i have always had a very poor sense of self so when people say they have symptoms like sensory sensitivity and missing social cues, how do you know?

how do you know the symptoms you have are actual symptoms?

when people say " i always miss social cues" how do you know? if you miss the social cue then you dont pick up on it at all, therefore you dont know it exists?

i dont mean to offend anyone im just very very curious on how people come to self diagnosing themselves.

It all started at one of my former jobs.

Two supervisors took me into a room and told me that all of my co-workers had noticed things about my behavior that they wanted to address. That no, it wasn't just one or two people saying this about me ... it was everybody. They then listed the behaviors in question.

Wondering what was going on, I went home and typed the behaviors into Google.

And guess what came up in the Search results?

Autism ... Asperger's ... autism ... Asperger's ... autism.

Turns out I was exhibiting classic symptoms of Asperger's without even realizing it.
Then I read the rest of the symptoms, and realization hit ...
like the proverbial lightbulb going on in my head ...

Sure explained all the sensory issues I had all my life
along with all the social issues.
Back when I was a kid, they didn't have the same understanding about autism
and nobody ever talked about Asperger's
so I was labeled "gifted".
My parents let me choose whether I wanted to skip ahead a grade in school
or stay in the same grade as everyone else in an effort to give me a more normal life.
I was raised as normally as possible,
which I think is a good thing.

I took the online test too,
and it points to my being an Aspie,
exceptionally high on the talent end,
and exceptionally low on social communication skills.

Anyways, it definitely fits.

...

Well, for sensory sensitivity, when I'm wincing in pain or getting overloaded while everyone else is smiling and going on about how great X is, it's pretty clear something's different about how I experience sensations.

As for social cues, often if I don't give the response someone is expecting, they'll amplify the signals until I finally catch it. Like if I'm annoying someone and don't realize it, I don't stop the behaviour that annoys them, and they'll get more and more annoyed until they yell at me. Plus, I ask my parents about their perspective on social situations if they were there to see it, and they'll talk about things I had no clue about. (Eg that two teenagers we saw at the pool are probably dating.)

I don't really get what's so tough to tell about this. I always knew I was different, I just didn't know there was a name for what I was.

I have assessed myself as very likely a person with Asperger's. This in no way indicates a state of "knowing" that I have the syndrome. It is merely the most practical strategy I can devise at the moment, for dealing with the fact that an overwhelming number of the symptoms I've experienced, feedback I've received from others, and life experiences that I have had, can be explained by such an assessment. No other syndrome or disorder that I have studied matches these as comprehensively as does Asperger's.

Once I started reading the posts here, especially those written by women and older adults with Asperger's, the correlation with my own inner world was so startling that it was like finding evidence of members of my own species where I had previously felt like the only one. This leads me to the hope that as with any other support group, they may have discovered solutions that I can apply to my own issues for better results.

I was labeled early on as 'gifted'. My behavioural deficits - rare, but unpredictable and startling violence, tendency to wander off alone and 'do my own thing', severe absentmindedness, among other things were explained away variously as 'too intelligent to be challenged by her environment' or 'influenced by violence on TV (really? all we got to watch were nature shows and cartoons, seriously?), or 'she's a bookworm' (because I read silently, alone, and a lot, starting at the age of 3).

The sensory issues were dealt with as behavioural problems that could be cured with mockery or 'tough love'. There were many meals where food that was literally nauseating to me had to be chewed up and choked down over a couple of hours. I strategically used the single glass of milk or water we were allowed, to swallow the offending foods whole, until this tactic was noticed and forbidden. My sensitive skin was a point of contention over and over again, as I would not wear anything binding, scratchy, lumpy, with any fussy stuff attached to it (lace, frills, applique) or difficult to put on or remove (annnnd I still won't). I didn't feel pain normally, so often would not cry when being physically disciplined, making me seem stone-cold or stubborn. I was variably coordinated, being reasonably competent at movement some of the time, and puzzlingly clumsy and accident prone on other occasions.

Meltdowns were attention-seeking tantrums, absentmindedness was carelessness, avoidance was willful disobedience, etc. Since my parents were living on one income with several kids to support, the fact that I hated new shoes and preferred to wear the old ones until (and after) they were practically falling off my feet was seen not as odd, but as a blessed lack of materialism on my part (at the ripe old age of 10). Same with clothes, and with toys. I wasn't big on 'new', and didn't care much for endless variety. My sister and I preferred to play with sticks, rocks, mud, blankets, and chairs to playing with plastic toys. We both drew and painted, but didn't like coloring books much. One exception was a functional miniature toy oven that I adored and used every chance I got.

My 'unfeminine' fascination with dinosaurs, appliances, garbage trucks and heavy equipment was seen as a heartening triumph of my mother's die-hard feminism (which was ironic as she was and is a stay at home housewife).

It's been a long 51+ years alone on this planet. I have finally found what looks like a tribe. I hope that at least, I'll be allowed to stick around as a close cousin or honorary member, even if I never am assessed by a mental health care professional as belonging in the category.

I think it's a fair question to ask OP. No one should be offended over this subject.

It seems to me that many here who self diagnose have struggled in their life, find out about AS and investigate the subject, then suddenly have a revelation and some degree of clarity. I'm not sure if anyone can truly say they are 100% sure of their self-diagnosis.

Personally I had been seen as a problem child and too much trouble. A serial drop out from school and higher education even though I'm reasonably intelligent. No real friends to speak of and unable to keep jobs. And no real understanding of where I was going wrong either.

In my mid thirties I found myself working with teenagers with special needs and behavioural issues. Some of these had AS and this is when I first learnt about it. After I found out about it, I did some searching and began to find out what I felt and experienced, the traits and symptoms of AS was not normal for others, as in NT normal. It then became a case of joining the dots, so AS fits me I feel, although I still have some doubts.

I have tried to receive a professional assessment but there is no funding where I live for adults. This is on the National Health Service in the UK and I'm not earning enough money to pay for a private assessment.

What sort of things did your coworkers notice about you?

I was diagnosed as autistic when I was about 3 years old (early 60s). I had no speech. No speech, in fact, until age 5 1/2.

I was diagnosed as "brain-damaged" not much later. It was thought, at the time, that that was the "correct" diagnosis. I went to special schools based upon that diagnosis.

I would say, with at least some certainty, that many people diagnosed with Asperger's or High-functioning Autism would have been diagnosed with "brain-damage/injury" or "minimal brain dysfunction" in the 1960s-1970s.

Upon reflection, I exhibited many Aspergian traits since I started to speak at age 5 1/2. This continues throughout my life, though my "symptoms" have improved over time.

I first heard about Asperger's probably sometime in the 1980s. It became prominent in the 1990s. I did research into Asperger's at that time. I found many affinities between myself and a prototypical person with Asperger's.

So I am both officially diagnosed (with autism, "brain-damage/injury," and schizoid personality disorder [age 15].

and "self-diagnosed" on the Autistic Spectrum.

I would never have known I was on the spectrum had I not married a mental health expert who figured out why I was different. In some ways it doesn't matter because I was gifted enough to compensate for my issues to earn a good living. But, now that I know I get along better with other people because I can watch shows like the Big Bang and realize that some of the things I can do weird normal people out--not that I stopped doing them, necessarily, but at least I have a better idea of the social dynamics that can become involved.

Haha, this is a great question.
To answer plainly- I DIDN'T notice; rather, it was other NT's that pointed this out to me OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, until I wanted to beat my head against a wall (haha, literally lol) and ripped out my hair (literally) from the stress of not understanding and feeling hideously isolated and alone from all NTs (even or perhaps especially) my own family.
These not-so-subtle hints came as the follow:
"UGH! God, what the f**k is wrong with you??"
"Why do you do???? Why are you so weird? Stop doing that!"
"Are you ret*d, are you crazy- why are you so creepy and bizarre- why aren't you normal?"
"Can't you ever do anything normal? Why are you so different? Why are you so weird- why don't you just get it??"
"You're so stupid not to understand this!"
So, no- I didn't get it. For a really really long time, and I was left agonizing and wondering and alone for a very VERY long time. And then well it changed obviously (that's a long story in and of itself) but basically I remain undiagnosed because I lack the money for yet another NT to tell me (this time while wearing a white lab coat and one that has sat down and decided this is what I THINK it is like to be aspie and has a fancy degree that lets them put specific socially-significant letters after their name)
"Hey, all those hundreds of other NTs that you weren't like, them- yeah they were right- YOU ARE NOT AN NT, you are an Aspie/Autie."
It's pretty blindingly obvious to everyone... maybe not in the first 2 second, because I make eye contact and am verbal, but... after that...

However, I don't have the resources, and in my neck of the woods- it runs like 3-4k and no insurance coverage, at least that's what I've been quoted.
*sigh*

As for how do I know that I can't read signals or cues or understand facial expressions, I had some pretty coincidentally, explicit examples of this.
For example, in a foreign language class while learning basic words, the game was, your partner makes a face (no words or context) and you are supposed to remember the vocabulary words that describe that emotion.
However, the prerequisite is BEING ABLE TO READ THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS XD!
So, my partner got increasingly angry and annoyed with me, to the point where I was shaking from the stress of getting facial expression after facial expression completely and utterly wrong over and over repeatedly.
Whereas, every other person in the room (except the one OTHER autistic person) got them right with ease (even across cultural boundaries) and laughed at the "silly exercise". I was left shaking and blinking back tears because I was upsetting someone so profoundly and struggling with something so completely basic.
I could literally look to my left and right and juxtapose my utter failure with everyone else's success.
I have a few other examples, but a lot of it comes down to something like:"You totally didn't get what he was putting out there!! You couldn't read the situation could you??"
or some variation, and then being told exactly what I missed.
People just thought I was careless, dumb, or not paying attention..
Oh, well, whatcha gonna do

Exactly how would one know that your visual processing abilities aren't normal? Or that you can follow a stream of numbers in real time and spot patterns. It took me a while to catch on that people needed to graph things because they couldn't make sense of the numbers like I could.

Self diagnosed at 32. All my life I felt different, I didn't get social cues, I hated social events in school, I didn't understand eye contact, I kept to myself, I dressed weird. I had certain habits I would now call stims, I would chew on my shirt collar, I couldn't stop moving my legs, I had a few abilities that were impressive, I got good grades if I payed attention, bad grades if I didn't, so my grades were all over the map. I had selective mutism. In college, I went out with friends, but always had to flee the scene and then come back I didn't know why. I got overwhelmed by seemingly normal things. In a room full of people I didn't know, sometimes I would get panic attacks. Relationships ended and I couldn't figure out why. So at 32, I had a friend who took care of autistic kids. He mentioned that he was good at it because he was autistic too. I said that can't be so, you have normal intelligence. He explained that people on the autistic spectrum can have normal intelligence. I went home and looked up the symptoms, and they all applied to me, it explained so much. It was such a relief to know that my shortcomings weren't due to me being a loser or dumb, I just had a condition. It was the biggest revelation of my life, I'm sure I wouldn't be alive now if I hadn't figured it out. I'm 45 now, and if anything I'm more sure than ever. Frankly, I can observe me better than any doctor can.

why didnt any of you seek out to get a official diagnoses? is it a financial decision? or are you functioning well without the need for support?

Yes, I'm very high functioning. Luckily I have a good job and live in my own house. Now if I could just clean it... I just don't care about making it official, what difference would it make? I live in the USA, it's not like they help you. It's so obvious it's correct I don't doubt it at all. Nothing else explains who I am.

How blind know that he cant see
how disability Movement know that hee cant move
how Mute know he cant speak

someone dosnt know he she autistc ,he is not autistic or his country ignorant .

Last edited by wronngbong on 07 Dec 2015, 10:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It wasn't difficult at all for me once I initially stumbled across the diagnosis of Aspergers on another forum. After I read page after page of common aspie traits and recognized that I closely identified with almost (not all) all of them, it was pretty clear that I was on the spectrum. Which part of the spectrum? Well I clearly have an IQ above 70 so that leaves me with either HFA, ASD, or Aspergers, which are all pretty much the same diagnosis anyway.

Self-diagnosing was the easy part, finding a mental health professional who knew what they were doing, well that was the difficult part. Finally I found someone who specialized in that area and had been seeing patients on the spetrum their entire career and was able to make an official diagnosis. I didn't really need her to tell me anything that I didn't already know, I just needed her for her to give me the official label. I guess I would have been able to get the diagnosis much sooner if I had just bit the bullet and paid to see a private psychologist. Publicly funded healthcare professionals just ignore every word you say to them but I find that privately funded healthcare professionals actually listen to their customers, and that was really all it took, was someone to stop ignoring me and listen.