Thanksgiving holiday dinner?

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This year we are going to my older sisters in-laws house. I've only been over there a few times over the years during those I played my DS sitting off to the side. The kitchen isn't super huge so not sure how cooking will go fry the turkey outside? Where do we sit? will it be a big table all sit together? Get our own food?? WHO is all going to be there? It will probably be the in-law husband/wife + there 3 sons plus whatever family those 3 sons have had over the years I think multiple kids in some cases! UGH!

Was thinking sit off to the side? Observe the IDIOTS like Sherlock Holmes? Read a book? Saying you're reading about women getting murdered tends to shut people up. LOL! Have a Criminal Justice degree but NO ONE is CJ based and most everyone is wrapped up in Media BS! OMG! Wars! OMG! world coming to an end! OMG! crime is bad! Stastitics say it has been worse in the past to which family says "Don't believe everything you read" (They don't read science or actual f*****g research) UGH!

Any tips????

Are you able to opt out?

Luckily we don't have thanksgiving here but at christmas if we go to a relatives house, I stick with the children. If that wouldn't work for you I think a book is a good option. Apart from that I have no advice.

WHY are you stressing? (this whole thing shouldn't be on your radar screen)

Who cares how the food will get cooked. Not your issue. She may buy stuff from the store already made.

Seating? Another how cares. It could be in the basement (if she has one), combo table and chairs or people eating balancing their plates on their laps sitting on the couch.

People? Do you not like someone who is coming over?

If you flat out don't want to go, don't go. I HATE Thanksgiving with the passion of an super Nova. We are commanded to make a 4 hour trek to my husband's parents house. His mother is an Aspie, and stress over little stuff and screams if things aren't just so. She has that wonderful combination of tunnel thinking, and ruminating.

It used to be a miserable hot mess. Now I don't care. We go, get a plate of food, give her that golden family bonding moment, then leave. She can lose her mind over the wrong colored napkins, or her husband bought the wrong type of instant stuffing mix and scream at him.

If the whole situation at SIL's is just beyond the pale, don't go. If it will totally fry you out for the next 4 days, it isn't worth it.

I wish we could both be home eating pizza on the couch, and doing nothing.

Turkey Day is over rated. Also if I haven't had contact with you in 9 months, chances are I don't really care to see you on Thanksgiving, Christmas, weddings etc...

I would bring a few books, you DS, and basically anything else you can think of to distract yourself and look busy to the other people there, so they'll be less likely to talk to you (assuming you don't want them to). If you have a tablet or a laptop, you could bring it, but since there will be kids there, be warned that they'll probably want to watch what you're doing and use it themselves, so you'll get more social attention. I tend to leave mine at home for that reason. Then you can sit and do something while everyone talks, and you'll probably only have to interact much while you eat and maybe when you first get there and before you leave. Also, if possible, ask whoever you're going with how long they plan to stay, so you can have a better idea of how many distractions you need to bring and so you can keep an eye on the time.

I know it's hard, but try not to worry about things that are out of your control, like the food and where you'll be sitting. You'll only stress yourself out because there's not much you can do about those things. If it helps, you can try to break down specific worries, like if you're worried they won't make anything you'll like, you can bring a few snacks to eat if needed. If you're worried you'll be sitting outside for a long time, you can bring some sunscreen. Things like that that might help you stop worrying so much.

I vote for sticking with the children--teach them how to play old fashioned games like Scrabble.