Sometimes I feel like I'm someone I dislike.

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Hi, sometimes when someone I strongly dislike crosses my mind, I feel like I have their face (as my face) and I'm like thinking like them or "becoming" them. Its really wierd and has been happening for a few years (I think?) although it doesn't happen all the time, but it feels pretty often. When It happens I sometimes lightly hurt myself to make the thoughts bug off. (I used to hurt myself like more painfully, punching and digging my nails in my head, nothing "major" trust me) The feeling isn't as bad as it used to be, but its still there. I was diagnosed with clinical depression about 2 years ago and AS, but stopped going to a psychiatrist after a short while because I felt kind of paranoid about stuff. Also I feel like i'm being "observed" sometimes when I play Video Games, watch something, and listen to music, it makes me feel kind of embarrassed I feel, or anxious, paranoid I think ? I was wondering if I'm the only one who has experienced this, because it feels like i'm insane and I hate it. Try and help if you can. (kind of doubt it though )

Please, keep in mind i'm not very smart so try and keep responses simply worded.

Who or what do you feel is observing you?

I'm not a doctor, but it looks like you may have OCD and maybe some delusional disorder. I would get that checked if I were you.

Its really not super bad, I can just about handle it now in regards to thinking i'm some immoral jerk ass person i've been exposed to via real life or online , its still not great but not as horrible it used to be . On being observed, Its people that I feel are observing me. Might be hard to explain but, i just see like a picture of their face in my brain, feels like i'm being watched. Again its usually people i've been exposed to through reality or otherwise, like somone I consider an a -hole, immoral, mean. Its even sometimes people I think are ok, or just random people,celebrities, faces i've randomly seen. It feels uneasy, frustrating, annoying and makes me feel angry. Again, not as bad as it used to be, but Its kind of there still. I just wanted to know if anyone could relate because I feel alone on this. I think you are right about the delusional thing, as of writing this my mind tries to convince me that i'm full of s**t (not in words, more like I feel that way) , but I know I'm not, but then I wonder if it isn't true , but i'm pretty sure I know its true, its a bit of a mind f**k. I probably should be seeing a psyche about this, but you know....... Good luck with this s**t. And ty for trying to help me.

Oh, I can definitely relate. I used to feel watched as well, by people I really hated. My psych prescribed a medication called Abilify and those horrible feelings went away eventually. It's all under control now. I can think clearer, put my life on track, mentally tell all those "people" to eff themselves, and puff they're gone.

That's why I suggest you ignore those thoughts that tell you that you're full of it (you're not) and see a psych for an assessment.

I don't have any useful advice on the feeling of turning into someone else thing. In truth I've never heard of anyone with any similar situation before. Are they intrusive thoughts? Like, do you feel they just pop into your mind without reason?

Yeah, they just kind of pop up annoyingly. This is solid advice, however i'm kind of iffy about medication. I don't really like stuff that changes how I behave or feel, because I feel fake and not who I really am. (not sure how to say it). I think I was taking matzapine??? (whatever the hell it was called) it was causing me to gain weight and making me tired, so I stopped that crap pretty quickly , not sure how thats related (ranting). I'm slightly glad someone can relate to me on at least one of these things but it still sucks. I'm 19 now so its been going for like 2 years (damm) If It gets too much to for me i'll consider abillify, if i ever decide to bite the bullet and see a psychie again. Thanks for any assistance renderd

I know how you feel about medication, I was and in a sense still am the same way. I tried loads of meds with nasty side effects before eventually finding one that didn't alter the way I felt like you described (Abilify). It's all about trial and error and eventually finding one that works.

Best of luck to you.