No parental involvement for diagnostics?

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Brittniejoy1983
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11 Nov 2015, 3:02 pm

I am pursuing diagnosis.
However, in reading both in here and other areas, I have seen multiple mentions of a diagnosis not being possible without a clear picture of early childhood behavior.
I don't have parents to give feedback here, as neither biological parent is in my life for many reasons, and the ex-step mother that I am in sporadic contact with is... well... unreliable at best when it comes to remembering details about me. At worst, she has lied if she feels that my behavior reflects badly on herself. (There is much more to this situation, but for the sake of brevity, I'm going to leave it at this).
I also have no access to videos of my childhood, and very few pictures.

Is this going to impact my ability to be diagnosed?



BeaArthur
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11 Nov 2015, 7:27 pm

If a professional refuses to attempt a diagnosis without parental report, they are being overly rigid, and you should move on to someone else. But you should ascertain this BEFORE you spend any money on them. Good luck to you.l


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Tawaki
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11 Nov 2015, 7:29 pm

FWIW

My husband's mother has Aspergers, and she was a terrible historian. She misremembered huge chunks of his life, or she just never noticed the problems.

It's like my MIL lived in her universe, then there was everyone else.

Anyway, the psychologist chucked what she wrote except for some things a pediatrician wrote 50 odd years ago. My husband's brother wrote some stuff and I did too (wife).

I had heard a lot about my husband's early childhood from his other relatives and friends, so the psychologist said he had enough early childhood information to work with.

It wasn't an issue.



ASPartOfMe
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11 Nov 2015, 8:17 pm

Is there a sibling who would be more reliable?


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Brittniejoy1983
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11 Nov 2015, 8:40 pm

Quote:
If a professional refuses to attempt a diagnosis without parental report, they are being overly rigid, and you should move on to someone else. But you should ascertain this BEFORE you spend any money on them. Good luck to you.l

BeaArthur, That is good to know. Thank you! I am having a lot of anxiety about this process, so it is good to know that this isn't necessarily an area that needs it.
Tawaki, thanks. She suffers from what I suspect is PTSD and is generally sleep deprived. She also tends to take any 'abnormality' as a criticism to her instead of a factual thing. It is very frustrating because when she gets in the mode that everything is her fault, she does not and cannot seem to listen to reason.

Quote:
Is there a sibling who would be more reliable?

ASPartOfMe: Hi again! Short answer: No. Long answer: I am the oldest of all of my siblings, and the next one in age is 5 1/2 years younger, and very NT. The next one who can see and understand what I am perceiving is also possibly ND, but 7 years younger. Too young to really confirm early childhood patterns. She could confirm my older childhood issues after 12 years old or so as she has a very accurate memory, but is seems as if, in regards to childhood behavior, they look for information younger than 12.


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Davvo7
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12 Nov 2015, 9:14 am

I was able to get my diagnosis, albeit I don't know if the UK process is different, without any parental or family input. Both parents are long dead and (happily) not seen my blood brother in 20 years.

She did say it would have been beneficial to have their input but with my own clear and full recollections she was able to form a good working impression of my childhood. She did mention the fact that in her experience, if a person on the spectrum can remember something from their past, then they don't tend to elaborate or minimise, rather they tend to simply report the facts.

I appreciate that I am lucky in the fact that I have an excellent memory that stretches back to a very early age - I remember meeting my maternal Grandmother and her reading to me and she died before I was two.

Hopefully you will be OK and not be too awkward. Good luck.



Brittniejoy1983
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12 Nov 2015, 9:38 am

That does help, thank you.

I have memories that early too! Is that normal?



SocOfAutism
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12 Nov 2015, 10:00 am

Agree with the others. No you don't need parents for a diagnosis and it's helpful to ask around if you have siblings or childhood friends. My husband has childhood friends (he would call them childhood acquaintances probably) and it's surprising the things they remember about him. I guess sometimes an aspie/autie kid might do something that sticks out as odd to an NT kid and stick in their memory?

Having super early memories yourself is also very helpful!

You'll be fine no matter what. They'll have enough to work with.



Brittniejoy1983
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12 Nov 2015, 4:23 pm

I have some things from my ex-stepmom, like constructing flash card sentences at 3, getting called to school in Kindergarten (and later grades) because I locked myself in the bathroom to read (Little House on the Prairie) (no regard for other people, also chapter books at 5?), not reacting to my father when in the same situation my sister would rub her feet till bleeding (continued well into my teens-I would not react, and therefore get in more trouble), peeing my pants until I was 8/9 when distracted (without noticing) but not at night or in response to trauma, having a very advanced ability to converse with adults on some topics, having a tendency to become 'obsessed' with certain topics which would become all I would read about. Atonal and loud voice until I learned to modulate it (treating speech like music in pitch and cadence), etc. Documented difficulty with school despite apparent (and documented) intelligence. Argumentative nature, tendency to have an 'excuse' for everything, answering questions with excessive detail than was required for the question (i.e. rhetorical like "Why didn't you put your clothes in the hamper?").
Additional memories of spinning, running on my toes barefoot (made me happy), needing a heavy blanket in order to sleep, etc. Not fitting in with peers even from a young age (6/7).

Etc, etc, etc.


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Brittniejoy1983
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12 Nov 2015, 4:23 pm

I guess saying that I overanalyze and seek external validation goes without saying, huh?