Page 1 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

DevilKisses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,067
Location: Canada

15 Nov 2015, 5:35 am

I do. I often get anxious about acting excited about anything. I'm scared a bunch of people will call me naive. When I act excited in real life I also get paranoid when other people don't act excited. I'm scared they're secretly thinking I'm naive.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical


C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

15 Nov 2015, 5:43 am

What's so bad about being naive? You could be a lot worse. And why does acting excited make you think you appear this way to others? Just curious.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


iliketrees
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,155
Location: Earth

15 Nov 2015, 6:15 am

C2V wrote:
What's so bad about being naive? You could be a lot worse. And why does acting excited make you think you appear this way to others? Just curious.

People tend to find it funny to test the limits on what you'll believe and what you'll do and can very easily escalate into then deciding to manipulate you. Source: my school experience

I also have the fear and now I find it very hard to trust people in case they're actually trying to use me.



nerdygirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.

15 Nov 2015, 6:20 am

I have a fear of being naive, especially when it comes to potential friendships. I am afraid of naively trusting someone or thinking the person actually likes me, only later to be stabbed in the back or used. It has happened to me too many times. The only other option is to become hard and calloused and ultra-cynical, trusting no one at all and trying to form no friendships at all. I don't want to do that, either.



Jensen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,004
Location: Denmark

15 Nov 2015, 7:28 am

Yes, of course. I´ve allways heard: "You are so naive, dear!". My parents tried to teach me to take care.
I am by nature not suspicious, but I´ve learned o think twice. It is still not natural for me, though.
I´ve been tested to the limit as well, made fun of, ridiculed at school.
Sometimes, I´m too naive, too open - sometimes I´m paranoid.
Of course it has to do with the limited ability to figure out, read, what others may be thinking. I´m pretty oblivious to hidden motifs. Sometimes I do have a hunch and withdraw/shift idea or signals in time, but too often I "smoke the cigar".
I guess, it is part of being an aspie.


_________________
Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven


SilverProteus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jul 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,915
Location: Somewhere Over The Rainbow

15 Nov 2015, 7:47 am

Naivety is dangerous, so yes.


_________________
"Lightning is but a flicker of light, punctuated on all sides by darkness." - Loki


BirdInFlight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?

15 Nov 2015, 7:50 am

Yes, because it can ruin your life if you let the wrong person in because you trusted them.

I feel like my natural default is naivety mostly in regard to people I know or new people I meet, and I have to try hard to remind myself not to be completely trusting and unquestioning of someone's possible motives.

It's a balance I have to work at maintaining, between being totally innocent about people or trying to hard to be paranoically cynical. It's a hard balance to strike because even after half a century I don't always get a handle on someone new. There are good people but there really are bad people out there who will sniff out a pushover and use and manipulate them.

I find it easier to form only acquaintances who aren't really involved in my life at all, rather than full on friendships now.


_________________
~ ~ ~

If you have a problem with something I post, something I believe, something I do or say, something in my sig, or something I am stupid enough to share that I'm struggling with and being caused pain by -- TELL ME TO MY FACE so that I can defend myself, instead of see you make a mockery of or a dig about it later.

On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

ASD Level 1, PTSD. Plus anxiety with panic attacks, mild sub-clinical situational depression -- and a massive case of sheer freakin' BURNOUT.

~ ~ ~


Unfortunate_Aspie_
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 579
Location: On the Edge of...

15 Nov 2015, 9:31 am

Jensen wrote:
Yes, of course. I´ve allways heard: "You are so naive, dear!". My parents tried to teach me to take care.
I am by nature not suspicious, but I´ve learned o think twice. It is still not natural for me, though.
I´ve been tested to the limit as well, made fun of, ridiculed at school.
Sometimes, I´m too naive, too open - sometimes I´m paranoid.
Of course it has to do with the limited ability to figure out, read, what others may be thinking. I´m pretty oblivious to hidden motifs. Sometimes I do have a hunch and withdraw/shift idea or signals in time, but too often I "smoke the cigar".
I guess, it is part of being an aspie.

Yes, the idea terrifies me. So, I am often VERY closed off to people. I'm like a cross between an onion and a hedge maze that keeps changing.
I can enjoy people's company for months, years without them ever getting truly close... I also diversify the people I'm with- I find that helps, don't invest too much in one person, outing, situation, or conversation.
However, when lonely sometimes I slip up.
Trust no one. :lol:

Despite all this I am told by NT's that I'm very open and naive and "sqeaky clean" and approachable. :roll:
However, my Aspie/autie friends realize how insanely guarded I am. If you know me you realize you don't XD, unless I tell you.
Sometimes I slip up... I tell stories to people and back-track. Some of my aspie friends compare this to NT behaviors, but for me it's out-right lying to defend NOT to manipulate others for some purpose- I'm just trying to protect my sanity and safety.
I still manage to get the wool pulled over my eyes on a fairly regular basis... :?



nurseangela
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,017
Location: Kansas

15 Nov 2015, 9:35 am

I already know I'm naive - especially when it comes to relationships.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Unfortunate_Aspie_
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 579
Location: On the Edge of...

15 Nov 2015, 9:38 am

NOT being naive is generally pretty hard! It goes against my nature really....

However, I study more sly people and put on a unfazed air- NTs always respond to that in a very interesting way!

I seem to simultaneously repel and attract people.

Off-putting and attractive at the same time... I truly don't understand this and yet NTs have told me this repeatedly. I really don't have any concept of it/can't fathom what they are saying/seeing. I am oft confused by their remarks...

However, generally, because I've been hurt oh-so many god-awful times, I try to stay as closed and distant as humanly possibly while still retaining a veneer of human decency and politeness. Dogs and other furry creatures have my eternal love and sympathy. :D
I am never un-kind, just put off! :)



BeaArthur
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 5,027

15 Nov 2015, 10:18 am

Yes. A fear both of being naive, and being called naive.

http://www.sydesjokes.com/pictures/g/gu ... y_test.jpg


_________________
Back.


olympiadis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,849
Location: Fairview Heights Illinois

15 Nov 2015, 11:25 am

yes



Varelse
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 Sep 2015
Age: 56
Posts: 368

15 Nov 2015, 6:35 pm

Sadly, I do not have this fear, but I need it. Years of experience and feedback from friends should have taught me this, but the lesson goes unlearned to this day.

My ex once laughed after I told him how sad it was that this poor woman in a team I supervised had had so many recent deaths and emergencies in her family. He said "yeah, but at least she and her boyfriend get out on a skiing trip after each funeral, right?" Duh.

Once someone asked if I had "change for the bus", and I handed them my bus pass with $15 left on it because I didn't have any change.

I told a coworker flat out that aggression doesn't work on me (I ignore it, become defiant, or don't understand it) but that guilt will get me to do pretty much anything - then argued with my closest friend (who also worked with us) when he tried to warn me that the guy was guilt-tripping me to get me to do work he should have been doing.

Being naive may seem charming at times, but it can be costly, and not just to the individual, but to anyone connected with or depending on them.



CryosHypnoAeon
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2015
Posts: 241

15 Nov 2015, 7:22 pm

Most definitely,

and I hate that I feel I have to censor myself all the time around people, or restrain my emotions, opinions, and stuff.
It's tiring.

And I know it's not fundamentally my problem. It's THEIR problem. Because NTs use anything as evidence against you in the court of social opinion. "Everything you say/do will be used against you in a court of social Law."

Which , again, is why I try and avoid people at all costs.

Your life is never more in danger than when you're surrounded by low-brow, needlessly judgemental apes.



Earthling
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2015
Posts: 3,450

15 Nov 2015, 7:43 pm

^ So true! Holy cow, and I hate it when stuff said gets twisted around and spread as rumors. Getting some primary school flashbacks. 8O



Why should I be afraid of being naive?
I know that I'm naive. That's it. No ambiguity about it.

Maybe that's why I'm often distant and not so nice to people...? To keep them from noticing?
May very well be a subconsciously established coping mechanism after having been messed with a few times.
Of course I still have plenty of gullible moments. :oops:

Thinking about it, if people call me naive (which hasn't ever happened as far as I remember) that's actually a good thing, because they are telling me of a vulnerability that I hadn't been aware of at that moment.

So, as I'm avoiding it I probably don't always come off as naive (maybe stupid-unfriendly, heheh), but when I do... ouch, that can become embarrassing. :|



Unfortunate_Aspie_
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 579
Location: On the Edge of...

15 Nov 2015, 9:22 pm

CryosHypnoAeon wrote:
Most definitely,

and I hate that I feel I have to censor myself all the time around people, or restrain my emotions, opinions, and stuff.
It's tiring.

And I know it's not fundamentally my problem. It's THEIR problem. Because NTs use anything as evidence against you in the court of social opinion. "Everything you say/do will be used against you in a court of social Law."

Which , again, is why I try and avoid people at all costs.

Your life is never more in danger than when you're surrounded by low-brow, needlessly judgemental apes.

Omg, this!so much judgement!!
"If you don't say anything they can't misquote you."
I can't stand these types of people >__>... :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: