Do you often have strangers sitting/standing right next to y

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Quite often I read Aspies here say that people avoid them in public or something, but it's the opposite with me. If I'm sitting on an empty bench what is quite long, somebody will still come and sit themselves down right next to me. Or if I'm on a bus that is getting busy and there's at least one person in each seat, I'm usually the first one to have a stranger come sit next to me, even though I usually sit not right at the back but not right at the front, usually just anywhere randomly in the middle.
Or if I'm sitting in a restaurant and I'm the first customer there, and out of all the vast choice of tables, the second customers will pick the nearest table to me.
Or people will invade my space with their kids, when there are plenty of other space around. That's the worst thing of all, since I'm not keen on children in general.

Should I take this as a compliment? And no, I'm not talking about creepy old men. In fact it seems to be women the most who invade my space.

Might it be the opposite of the same ?
My dad (suspect asp), everytime he was at a foreign place he would be asked, often as soon as within five minutes, "excuse me, could you tell me how to get to …?"

trustworthy is not equal to likeworthy ?

Do you have a flat affect? Depending on your resting face I think it can actually make you seem inviting, relaxed, (mine makes me look like I'm deep in thought so I always get people asking what I'm thinking about if I don't take efforts to put on a mask in public).

I always thought I look rather nervous. I once asked a good friend to give me an honest opinion of what sort of vibe I give off, and she said I do look a bit shy. I suppose that's nothing bad.

I'm not often in a situation where people might actually sit down next to me. I mean I don't ride buses or things like that.

But I was just commenting yesterday how often people just walk up and make really random comments and chit chat with me while I'm out in public. People seem to find me very approachable. Small children are also drawn to me and sometimes they will hang around me until their parents just drag them away.

On trains, as people approach looking for a seat, I try to make eye contact in an inviting way. This deters most women, and quite a few men.

I was proud of self when I discovered this

Maybe it's a safety in numbers type of thing.

When I was a grad student in math, one Easter Sunday several of us went to a local restaurant serving a buffet for lunch. The place was nearly deserted. There was only one table occupied near the far back corner.

I thought that was great -- that we would have plenty of room around us without a bunch of strangers. But, no. That didn't happen. The first two or three people in our group got through the buffet and headed for a table right next to the only table that was already occupied.

It turned out that the table next to us was a very well known Senator and his family.

I never have understood why we ended up at the table next to the Senator.

It is probably because you look harmless or approachable.
People have told me that I appear approachable.
Probably what I look like and how I dress and act like body movements and facial eggspression contributes to general approachability estimations made in the minds of other people.

I find it insulting that people would think I'm harmless or that I'm available for whatever they may need from me, that I'm here for the taking which includes taking up my time with their need for directions or taking up my personal space. I find it insulting.

I feel the same way.

I have strangers come super close to me sometimes. In fact, it happens more often than I am comfortable with. It kind of creeps me out.

It is an Essex and East London thing. People here do it all the time, and it irritates me. It's not just foreign people or creepy old men who do it, but everyone. I really don't like it. There will be empty seats on the bus and a man or woman of any age will sit next to me. Or the tube will be empty and someone will sit right next to me.

I have no idea why people here do it, but they do. I was even in a restaurant once, there were empty seats everywhere, and these two girls sat on the same table as me and my ex. We just looked at each other very awkwardly and ate dessert outside.

Yeah, I just had that happen to me the other week. I was at a restaurant with tiny tables and it was just me and two other people waiting for their food. Empty tables and chairs everywhere. And this big lady sat herself down right at my table without even asking me or saying hi. AWKWARD!! !! She asked me if she could sit there five minutes after she had already made herself at home. I didn't know what to say. I just ate my sandwich.

Hi skibum . That happened to me too but with another ex. This woman just sat at the table because it was her favourite spot. Was that woman you saw a bit on the eccentric side?

Hi Smudge!
I am not sure. She had a black and white dress which was kind of patterned in a way that was a bit much for me and a little black purse. But other than that she did not strike me as odd except that she just sat with me. I did not even mind that she sat with me. What I thought was weird and awkward is that when she did she did not ask me if she could until much later. She did not say hi or acknowledge me in any way at all. Then after she asked like five minutes later she never looked at me or said anything to me. It was just weird.

If she had asked in a friendly way I would have said, "sure". I don't mind people sitting with me. But I do feel invisible sometimes. A lot of times I have strange experiences where I am in a room and people just act like I am invisible. I get overlooked a lot. Like if I am standing in line, the person will help the person behind me and skip me. Stuff like that. It's weird.

This happens to me a lot. My mom says it's because I don't give off the right nonverbal signals that I'm in line. I guess I stand a bit too far away from the person in front of my and I don't always look toward the front of the line, so they assume I'm not in line and am just standing there for whatever reason.

As far as people getting in my personal space, they do sometimes. I hate when the whole restaurant is empty and yet they seat people at the table right next to yours. I guess they do that because they may only have one or two waiters/waitresses working, and it's easier for them if the tables are close together, but the least they could do is leave one empty table in between for customer comfort.

I felt really bad one time when I went to a convention. The bustle and noise of all the people was really starting to bother me, but we'd checked out of our room already, so I wandered around the hotel and found a nice quiet spot that was tucked away in a hallway. I sat in one of the chairs and started reading, and maybe twenty minutes later, a woman came down the hallway and sat in the chair right next to me. She said hello and asked how I liked the convention. I said I liked it but I'd needed a bit of peace and quiet, so I came out here to rest. She agreed that it was loud, but just a minute or two later, she got up and left. I felt really bad and worried that I'd basically told her to go away, which was not my intention at all! I was just trying to make social chitchat.

Last edited by Quill on 21 Nov 2015, 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.