Clutter problems/unable to get rid of stuff

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As i type this, i have just finished going through yet another box of j-u-n-k in my attic...can't believe how much stuff i save when i should throw it away or pass the usable things along to the next person without giving it a permanent home in my house.

Anybody else have problems with this? I think it is due to my executive function deficits--it is terribly hard to make that permanent decision to part with something that might still be useful/sentimentally valuable to me. Goodbye seems so final, even if it is something stupid like a pretty tin that i will never use and will just have to dust.

also i tend to attribute personality to inanimate objects. I see that pretty tin or teddy bear that my kids have a jillion of heartbroken because no one loved it enough to give it a home (cue the Velveteen Rabbit and/or Toy Story). All this adds up to more clutter than i want in my small house that is bursting at the seams with 5 of us (me, hubby, and 3 kids). And i suspect hubby has executive function issues himself because he goes crazy at clutter...it is mentally painful--and at times i suspect almost physically painful--to him.

I would welcome input and/or helpful hints that any of you on WP have. I am currently working on cleaning stuff out of my attic due to helping friends move this week...nothing like helping with moving someone else's stuff to be inspired to get rid of some of your own!!

I have this problem. It's like phoebe in friends when they end up buying the old/half dead Christmas trees as phoebe is sad they aren't fulfilling their Christmas destiny. I've found that donating stuff helps because then it can be used by someone else.

I'm certainly not drowning in it, but I do have some clutter.
I don't often buy "junk" though, that might be why it's not such a big problem.

I have trouble with this too. My problem is I save stuff thinking I can sell it...thinking I might need to sell it if I need extra money or lose my job or something. I equate it to giving away money. In reality, aside from a few things, it probably wouldn't be worth the hassle of trying to sell it on ebay or craigslist.

^ *sigh* Yeah, although Pokemon Emerald with cardboard box and manual might sell okay.

And then the stuff that might be good to sell, I go back and forth on for sentimental reasons, or because I *might* regret it, like my original NES system.

Also, since I buy a lot of stuff at thrift stores, seems ridiculous to then donate it right back to a thrift store if I decide I don't need it anymore.

It's amazing how much stuff a person can collect. I like to be tidy and organised while my partner is chaos personified and just makes piles of stuff. We try to find a balance and I try to accept her mess.

As for getting rid of stuff. It really is simple. Keep the things that are most important to you, sell the stuff that's of a reasonable value (*), donate, recycle and lastly throw away what you can. Be realistic and ruthless about the bits that you will never ever use.

Finally sit back and enjoy not only your new found space, but also the thought that stuff sitting in a box in your attic is now giving someone else pleasure.

(* As Dianthus said above, there is a lot of work involved in selling stuff on ebay; taking photos, writing a description, packing and posting, and the chance that a buyer may raise a dispute over some fabricated concern.)

My spouse is a huge keeper of junk, not only loath to get rid of anything, but continually buying more. I can see this is a mild mental illness, and so far we have kept a sense of humor about it. It bothers me because it exacerbates my own problems with disorganization.

I'm the opposite so maybe an opposite perspective could be useful? I cannot stand clutter to a crazy degree. Absolutely every item I own (and there ain't many of them) has a use, and I refuse to own anything that doesn't.
Utilitarianism of this kind may possibly help in sorting through what to retain. Does it perform a function you need?
Sounds like you're settled so it may not be helpful but I'm nomadic and thus influenced by what I can frequently move. One cannot move a whole bunch of clutter easily. I'm also always broke so very tight-fisted with money and that causes me not to buy anything unless I really need to, so if you are money conscious thinking on that may help with buying superfluous items. I'm definitely not sentimental so I can't really help there, but perhaps deconstructing the feelings and separating the impulse to attribute human-like characteristics to inanimate objects might. Most people say the best way to de-clutter is just to go through everything one item at a time and be very strict about what you keep and what you donate or throw out.
If nothing else I find being very spartan is cleaner. Less dust and dirt, less cover for insects and other animals to hide in, easier to clean up, more space to move around, easier to find things and be organised, and I think it just looks better. Clutter drives me crazy.

Yes, i can horde things for a number of reasons, from whether they hold a certain memory, but generally i see a use for anything that can be thrown out. Often hording things for years then deciding one day just to throw it out without thinking too much about it only to then need the damn thing i had in the garage for 10 years a few days after getting rid of said item/s

Thanks for all the replies. Sounds like the best thing is just being ruthless in getting rid of stuff. I think for me it comes down to executive function and decision making.

I do have the ability to get rid of stuff--and strangely enough, C2V, clutter is terribly frustrating to me too. I always feel like there are so many things i can't get rid of, either because someone else who lives with me wants to keep it, or because the time to declutter gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list, underneath things like cooking, laundry, dishes, and the like.

It started when i homeschooled my kids for about 7 years and that is a nightmare for clutter, at least in a small house. We had school things all over the first floor, because we didn't have one area designated as a school room--needing to sometimes use different spaces for different activities. And when you have a full-time job, you don't live in your house making it messy while you are working--you leave your activity of the day at wherever your job is. But with homeschooling, you have a full-time job, while living in your working space, while still needing that working space for all normal household tasks. Plus during that 7 yrs i had a baby, several surgeries, and a major illness, each of which put all but the absolute necessities of housework at the bottom of the list. I feel like i never caught up, even two years later after all the kids are now in school.

When i was a child, my bedroom was in very neat order as a rule, almost ritualistic...everything put in the same place the same way each time. There were a few messy years as a teenager, but neat and very clean was usually the rule. When i got older and life and family intruded (not that i would give them up for a neater house...but i am definitely a neatnik at heart because i can't stand dirt and visual chaos either). That is why i am so distressed at the state of my house.

I don't think i would qualify as a hoarder--my house is very livable though cluttered. All living areas usable though shelves are full of books, lots of toys in corners, desk is a constant fight to keep paper clutter down, and the like. The attic is the main place that is pretty full. We just have a lot of stuff. i am able to sweep, dust, and wash up the floors--it is not an issue of dangerously unsanitary conditions or anything. I am just frustrated with the rapid accumulation of stuff. I do not buy lots of stuff i don't need either--most shopping trips are for groceries, household necessities such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper etc...i just find that even so, i am given so many things or the kids come home with stuff. (What is up with a craft for every event? Thankfully the oldest two have grown out of that stage.)

Just trying to pinpoint why, if i don't buy huge amounts of stuff, it accumulates so. But maybe the fact that yesterday i washed 5 laundry loads of baby clothes to get rid of, taken from kids' stuff in the attic (when the youngest is now almost 8 yrs old) tells me something. It is probably more from not getting rid of the stuff i no longer need, more than bringing in huge amounts of things.

I do have the ability to ruthlessly part with stuff--it often comes down to just doing it. But like Uncle, i have parted with things only to wish for the item later. I guess that is a risk i am going to have to take. Thanks for the input, it's helpful. It's also nice to know other people have this problem too at times.

I have this same problem too. I find it so hard to part with my stuff, but at the same time I find all the clutter in my bedroom overwhelming. I would love a nice, clear, clutter-free bedroom with just a few ornaments neatly on the shelves and other bits like that, but not enough to make it look cluttered.

A few months ago I did sort out my room, and made myself give stuff to charity shops, but after filling up 3 big bags full of stuff, my bedroom still felt cluttered. It didn't seem to make much difference at all.

I cannot get rid of stuff other people brought me. My mum has brought me more stuff than anyone else, and I don't have the heart to throw it away. My mum says it's ok to throw away some old stuff she has brought me over the years, but I still just can't. I'd rather she did it herself.

In my room I have fancy tins, pretty boxes, lots of poem books, little ornaments, jewelry I don't really wear, writing pads I've used up but don't want to get rid of, CD cases with missing discs, pencil-cases, little teddy bears, drawing books, puzzles, gifts people have got me from vacations... I could go on and on. Most of that stuff listed is from relatives over the years or just what I collected, and now it's so difficult to decide what to get rid of. I would put it all in a box and keep it in the attic, but then my mum says that by doing that I might as well just throw the stuff out.

Joe, a solution for all that bric-a-brac (pretty boxes, etc..) is to give it away as gifts. Fill a tin with candy or snacks. Give away a book you seldom look at and package it in a nice box. Fill a little bottle with flowers. These inexpensive items can be given to people you have a relationship with such as a teacher or care worker or even the reception desk at your doctor's office, as well as friends and relatives. Then you reduce your clutter, and pass on a momentary pleasure to another person. Win-win.

I'd throw a garage sale, and put ridiculously cheap prices on things that you otherwise would have donated. Just a warning, if kids see you sell a toy, they will freak out - "My alligator! You can't sell my alligator!" despite that they have not played with it in years. So either let them self-select and give them any money earned, or do all this when they are out of the house for the day.

The ridiculously low prices are to get people to haul your stuff away for you. Anything that's left at the end of the day, you take to charity, but you should have significantly less of it.

Yep. Pretty much the only thing that has ever worked for me, is to just make quick decisions on stuff. If I spend much time deliberating on each item, I end up keeping most of it. If I haven't used it recently, if I don't have a space for it, if it's just tossed haphazardly in a pile or on the floor, it probably needs to go. If I have an immediate gut reaction like, oh no I can't possibly get rid of that, then I keep it, or at least set it aside to think about.

My innate tendency is to want to keep stuff so I know I'm not likely to impulsively toss anything I'll regret later. It's been rare that I've gotten rid of anything that I missed and wished I had it later.

Some people say with things you're undecided about, put it away in a storage tote. Then open it back up a year later and see if you actually missed any of it. The idea being that if you didn't think about it or need it within a year you can probably get rid of it. Now I will totally and completely forget about things put away in storage, but when I look at it again it's like finding buried treasure. It makes me excited so I still want to keep all of it even if I've proven to myself that I have absolutely no need for it. lol So this tactic may or may not work for you.

Yeah, the storage tote thing would not work for me. That is essentially what i have done in my attic. The problem is that i have to go through it twice--first time to put it in the attic, 2nd time to look at it again and either put it back in the attic or get rid of it. The organization/decision making part is truly the worst. I wish i could hire someone to do that kind of stuff for me. I get this mental block...but yet i have been enjoying seeing how much i get rid of.

BeaArthur, i have used the yard sale idea but they are so much work for so little $$ that it is truly better to give most of it away. I did open a stand at a local flea market to try to consistently have an outlet for the clutter, but then i have generous offers of other people's clutter to "put on your stand, thought you could make $$ with it." I do appreciate it that they thought of me...but it offsets my purpose. The flea market made more $$ due to more traffic than a yard sale of just my stuff. But it isn't going to be a long-term thing due to my exhaustion with the process.

I wish our culture and lifestyle didn't revolve around so much stuff. When i shop at a larger store like walmart or target, esp now since it's almost Christmas, i can't believe the volume of stuff available to buy and all the choices. So very exhausting. I usually buy just necessities--groceries, household items, clothes, shoes--and sometimes some books at used book stores. I grew up in the 1980's when my mom bought brand name groceries because there were only 2 or 3 brands of something. It was all so much simpler. My toys fit in 1 shelf of a cupboard and my brother and i shared a toy box. I try to keep life simple but the rest of the world intrudes a lot!