Does being singled out upset you

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I find I usually get most upset when I get singled out- in other words, when someone seems to do something undesirable to you but not with other people and you don't know why. It always grinds my gears, especially when you don't know why they are doing it. Some examples of the most challenging moments of being singled out are: people using me but not there other friends, friends not envite to an evening but envit all their other friends, and people ignoring what you say but listen to others. When this happens i often get more upset then a gtypical deliberate insult like a name call. Do you find this to be your button too?

Well I really hate feeling like I've been deliberately left out, if that's what you mean. I would be careful of jumping to conclusions though and taking things too personally (something I have to remind myself of all the time)... For all you know the person in question could be treating others the same way (eg using them), just you don't get to see it

I remember once in college there was this really weird boy who (I think) had a lot of learning difficulties, and he really wanted a girlfriend, and thought he would get one by sexually harassing a lot of the girls in our class. All the girls except me. He never went near me, but annoyed and creeped out the other girls, even though we all hung together in a group. The other girls told me I was lucky that he didn't try it on me, but even though I would be just as grossed out by this boy as all the other girls were, but I still felt upset because I wanted to be in the same situation with him as the other girls. I wondered if I was really ugly, even to a boy with learning difficulties who just sexually harassed any girls because he was lonely and wanted a girlfriend.

Sometimes it upsets me but interestingly enough, it has happened to me enough times that I kind of sometimes feel I deserve it. That might sound weird. I guess it's because it happened a lot when I was a kid so that became a coping mechanism so that it would not upset me too much.

Your a smart person to feel this way. Most people don't ever look at it that way bit you did and of course it is natural to be upset. However this doesn't mean your not attractive.

Do you deserve it? What are some reasons why you think you don't deserve it?

I have figured out that people think I don't like talking to them. I am started to figure things out, this took me over a year to figure out.

Sometimes I want to be talked to, and people don't talk to me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, perhaps people feel like I'm distancing myself from them (because I like my personal space).

Sometimes I want to do fun things, but I don't get asked. I presume this is because I don't seem interested.

Either that or he liked you better and didn't want to upset you or didn't think he could handle being rejected by you.

I don't mind being specifically left out. The worst that happens is, if it happens over and over and over again, I will ask if there are certain situations where I am not wanted or if I am unwanted in general and should stop calling.

My REAL friends know not to invite me to their weddings, loud holiday parties, formal events, anything that's a bigger deal than a kid birthday party. My REAL friends know to invite me over for coffee one-on-one or in a small group, or call me when they want someone to help clean out their basement, or call me when the s**t hits the fan, and leave me out of the Events so I don't have to think of an acceptable excuse for not going.

People who know me and accept me leave me out of stuff. Because they know me, and know I will probably make a mess of it, and know then I will feel bad for months/years afterward. And they accept that I am like that, and that all I can do about it is either not show or not speak (which also looks weird), and they love me anyway. So they take lots of pictures and let me stay home (or in the kitchen).

I don't like being singled out for teasing/mocking/criticism in public. That hurts.

I don't like being singled out for praise, either. At all. Not that it happens often. I make sure it doesn't.

I HATE being the center of attention in groups.

However, I have managed to get through business school which included a ton of presentations.

I also supervised a room full of 50 people for over 3 weeks, including training them.

So, I recognize my comfort zone, but still am able to get beyond it sometimes.

Yes. All of these things. Including being more bothered by targeted passive/aggressive maltreatment than by a direct and deliberate insult. However, I am equally upset when I get undeserved and over-enthusiastic praise from people. It's as if I am committing fraud without knowing how. Being singled out for any reason is uncomfortable.

I try to look at things from the other person's point of view, but this is often very difficult, even where I've taken the time to listen to them and observe their behaviour and displayed emotions.

Additionally, because being singled out is something that pushes my buttons, I try to make sure I don't do it to other people. Where I usually fail is when I find someone so off-putting that in order to treat them equally with people that I am comfortable with, I'd have to be completely fake. I don't do insincerity very well. Therefore, sometimes when I am singled out, I assume that the person or people doing this do not like me very much, and therefore they are trying to minimize contact with an irritant (me).

Sometimes but by them knowing the way I am all quiet and don't feel like talking to no one they might assume that I don't want to talk to them, befriend them, and probably assume I'm stucked up.

Yes, I hate this. I remember once when everyone in my music class had to improvise a couple bars in front of a class, and I messed up a little. The teacher pointed me out in front of the whole class and criticized the way I was sitting. That was embarrassing.

Me neither. I don't like to have too much attention drawn to myself or to be different from everyone else.