Anyone else like this?

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I'm really interested in meeting others who are like myself in that they still (as adults) feel more like older children/adolescents. To explain what I mean, I will list some characteristics below.

It would be very helpful to my sanity/outlook on life to have even some online pen-pals who are like this. Of course actually meeting with people who are like this would be ideal, but even just chatting online would be a great help. I'd be particularly interested in finding out about women who feel this way, even though I'm aware that there may be fewer of them than guys. These people are unfortunately very rare even in aspie groups, in my experience.

Anyway, the characteristics:
--A major part (if not THE major part) of your emotional outlook on life is a need to see "magic" in things, including relationships. This doesn't mean you necessarily believe in anything supernatural, but that you have a need to find an almost fairy-tale perfection in life, a romantic fantasy. This by no means has to contradict being intellectual and rational, it just means that you seek the same kind of perfect closure and beauty in your knowledge as well (see the next point).

--You may have a great interest in complexity in the abstract, because it reminds you how many amazing mysteries exist in the universe. However, the moment the reality of your life gets even a bit complex and/or uncertain, you run the other way (or at least your first instinct is to do so).

--The point your peers stopped being relatable is when a sense of starry-eyed wonder and possibility got replaced by toughness or "grittiness".

--Along with the above, most of your peers seem hopelessly jaded, to the point where you wonder how they find pleasure in life.

--You have little to no desire to start a family, and little to no "nesting instinct", but at the same time deeply desire a "nest" (while likely at the same time rebelling against it and asserting your "specialness").

--On some level you consider the adolescent or child forms of both sexes to be their most ideal physical form, particularly in terms of facial structure, even though you're not necessarily attracted to actual adolescents. Therefore, if you are attracted to women, you are drawn to ones with sweet, angelic faces. Similarly if you are attracted to men, you prefer those men with cute and angelic (though not necessarily feminine) faces.

--You have a strong sexuality, in the sense that you find the opposite sex's naked body (or other bodies of your own sex) intensely fascinating. However, you have much less interest in "actual" sexual intercourse.

--Likewise you may well be very romantic, even "hopelessly" so, but find the idea of marriage strange. Romance to most others your age is finding someone they could spend their lives with. For you it's moments of perfect wonder like sharing a secret spot in the forest.

Some of this resonates with me. I am often awestruck by what is around me, and I often have to watch or look at it to figure it out. I was unable to relate to my peers at all, there was a time when I believed everyone was good (I couldn't make the determination between bad and good people, I can't explain it very well, I was shocked when I finally realized some people weren't good, or nice etc etc- maybe I was just extremely naive).

I had children, and I was sad when they became less obviously curious. I don't understand how people don't find everything around them fascinating, I don't understand why people think being curious and fascinated by life is childish. I don't understand how they find simply going for coffee is interesting (don't get me wrong I like coffee), there is just so much more to life than - I don't know.

I'm kind of like this, in that I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, and also believe that many "bad" people have only become that way because of circumstances. I also have some different ideas on morality than the majority, so don't condemn some people who are hated by the majority.



May I ask why you chose to have kids? It seems that at least in terms of the romantic/sexual aspect you're different from what I described.

I've always been an odd combination of extremely childlike in some ways yet mature as f**k in others. XD
All of what you said resonates pretty much and I too desire 'childlike' friends with a combination of
logical rationality and affinity for magical fantasy as well.

I'm 25 but I can still pass for 18 and I often type like I'm a teen, emoting a lot and not caring for
proper grammar if it's more fun to be creative with my word choices. I plan to stay a kid forever,
as it's no fun being an 'adult'.. that's like claiming your life is coming to an end. I also will never have
kids because you stop being a kid once you have one. Nor do I plan on marrying, I do have an SO but
we both agreed not to marry. We seek girls together to keep adventure in our sex lives... however
women are frustrating to me (such illogical creatures) x.X

I've always had the childish part down though, so I've struggled with polishing my maturity (despite
having naturally high base maturity in some areas that matter). My SO had the word 'Magical' in
his online screen name when I first met him.. and my crush before him talked about how he was a
wizard, lol. I've always loved fantasy (Tolkein-like worlds, or reallyyy getting into a good video game/
anime). My SO is admittedly more mature / magical and not very childlike but it's good cause I'm
childish enough for the both of us *-* but he has traditionally 'childish' hobbies -- video games/anime
(I had stopped being big into games/anime, he brought me back in and now they're my special
interests again), is noctural (we both prefer to be up at night, in the dark), and more I can't think of
right now. XD

I could go on and on about this topic but I'll stop here. Anyway I'd be cool with a penpal if you
still want one ^___^ Feel free to message me anytime about anything.

I'll admit that there is times when various people see me as being childish whether it's from my physical form to my terrible writing style were punctuation is not properly used. Also I tend to have a magical sense regarding the world around me.

I am older than you are,
and perhaps more childlike.
I am an artist
who has been to Narnia
and visited Middle Earth
and walked along the Yellow Brick Road.
I've taken photos of all these places,
as well as the wormhole in outer space
that I tossed tribbles into
... don't worry, they were not harmed.
I've sat in the time-traveling DeLorean
and it took me back to the '80s.
Lots of fun!

As for "nesting," I believe in traditional morality.
I believe that even with being autistic,
I could have been married,
except that I live what I believe in without compromise.
I strongly believe in God,
and have not been able to find anyone who shares my beliefs.

So I will continue in my vocation
as a solitary artist
filled with childlike curiosity and wonder
and inspired to create
and share
this wonder
through my art.

...

I don't have a sloppy writing style at all, but I do have a sort of magical sense of the world. It's interesting because I'm also very scientifically-minded, but much of the social world (i.e. how societies and families stay together, as though there's "invisible glue" keeping them in place) seems like magic to me, and also I look at places through a more idealizing, imaginative "lens" than most adults. I also think I still see the excitement/"magic" in things like the Christmas season and playgrounds more than most people my age.

May I ask why you chose to have kids? It seems that at least in terms of the romantic/sexual aspect you're different from what I described.[/quote

I didn't plan on having children, I didn't plan on having a long term relationship either, I never thought I would. I felt similar to how you feel with regards to nesting, and sexuality, but things changed and things happened, and I met someone that I found interesting, we shared many 'moments of perfect wonder.' Unfortunately it didn't last, our interests drifted apart.