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joshskuxx
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09 Dec 2015, 6:54 am

do people with asd die alone? I am pretty sure that I will have no friends, no relationship and no one will give a f**k when I die. no one will know, no one will care, no one will cry over me and no one will remember me. I just want to be able to have a life where I am loved,cared about and respected. but I know that that wont happen, because for some reason, I had to have a f****d up face (and dont tell me that what I look like doesnt matter, because it does),asd,constant negative thoughts,paranoia and severe social anxiety. I want friends that will care when im gone, I want a partner that will care when im gone and I just want to be important to people. I dont want to be one of those people that die alone, and then no one goes to there funeral and they are just put in a f*****g hole somewhere and forgotten about (no one misses them, and any memory of their life is simply erased from the earth, forever). there is no point in living if you know that no matter what you do, your life/social life will fail and every memory of you will be erased from the earth. Am I the only person that thinks about whether anyone will care/remember them when they,re gone?



Catlover5
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09 Dec 2015, 7:16 am

I don't know you but I care about you, as I do other people on this site. I'm sorry you feel this way. I understand that feeling and I've felt the same way before, but I find it hard to believe that you have absolutely nobody in your life who cares about you. Caring about and loving others is part of human nature, and I'm sure there are people who love and care about you. As far as the future is concerned (relationships etc.), your future has not been written yet, so you can't know for sure that you will be completely without a partner, friends and people who will remember and miss you when you die.

To answer your question: you can't speak for every single person with ASD. All people with ASD are different to each other. Some people with ASD may die "alone" (dying completely "alone" is highly unlikely though), others may not.

I hope this helps.



kraftiekortie
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09 Dec 2015, 9:03 am

I would say, in all probability, that most people with ASD will not die alone. Especially if they are able to reach beyond statistics, into what is real.

Why do people think that Asperger's/autism is such a dread "disease?"

The best way not to die alone is to stop being cynical (I'm talking in general terms, not about a specific person).

There is the tendency for people with ASD's to rely on logic rather than emotion; hence, they see reasons to be cynical about things.

According to statistics, they believe it's unlikely that they will find love; hence, they give up before they start. However, as confirmed by many people with ASD's who are in relationships (within WrongPlanet), I would say that the statistics do not reflect reality.

The best way to assure that you will die alone:

is the believe all the cynical crap that is floating around.



Joe90
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09 Dec 2015, 9:28 am

You'd be surprised how many NT people die alone too. Some people outlive their friends, aren't close to their children, and just end up dying alone.

I know I will die alone because everybody I'm close to are way older than me, (my parents, my aunts and uncles etc, and even my boyfriend), and my cousins will probably get wrapped up in their own lives and move away, and I don't seem to make friends that well, and if I do it's usually with older people. I don't want to spend my whole young life worrying about that though, but I've already decided that I will put myself into an old people's home when I get old enough, even if I'm quite healthy. But I have a lot of ailments at my age now so I can see myself being old and slow before I'm 70, and will most probably get Alzheimer's, being so it's been known in elderly relatives of mine through generations and my grandmother has it. So social service will probably put me in a home anyway. At least then I can be looked after and not die alone. I don't particularly want to be found as a mummified corpse 5 years after I die alone in a bungalow or apartment or whatever. Yes I know I won't know about it because I will be dead, but it's still a disturbing feelings while you're alive to think that is how you will end. It's sad too. :(

I work in a care home and often I wish I was one of the elderly residents. They can choose to socialize if they want, if they don't then they have their own room to sit in, all have their own TV, and can go to sleep, and they have activities if they do want to have something to do to pass the time, and they are well-fed. As a 25-year-old that sounds rather boring, but when you're old you will think differently and will feel lucky to be in a care home.

Come to think of it, by the time I'm in a care home we will all probably be surfing the internet on our laptops and iphones. :lol:


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BirdInFlight
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09 Dec 2015, 9:39 am

Oh I already know I'm going to die alone because I'm so f*****g DONE with relationships and getting involved with anyone closer than acquaintance level.

I have been badly burned too many times, and the last one was a kicker. I'm done.

I'm not thrilled that I'm facing having to plan carefully for who is going to have to take care of wrapping things up when I die -- I want to have a plan for disposal of me and my stuff. There is no next of kin. I mean literally no freaking next of kin so I'm going to have to do something like get a lawyer.

So yeah it's not great, but it's better than making another mistake with someone.



LupaLuna
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09 Dec 2015, 9:44 am

Sometime I wonder if the same fate is in store for me. except for my dad. I have no more family members that are within 3 generations of me. I was born a only child and have never had a girl friend.



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09 Dec 2015, 10:05 am

joshskuxx wrote:
Am I the only person that thinks about whether anyone will care/remember them when they,re gone?

Oddly, this was one of the things I worried about when I was younger (sometime during elementary school). I remember lying in my bed, picturing my funeral in my head and being said because no one showed up. This was probably because I was worried about the impact of not having friends.



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09 Dec 2015, 10:19 am

I would be more worried about who I hated turning up at my funeral. My sister would be no. 1 on my NOT ALLOWED list. If she came, and I was a spirit floating above my funeral and I was capable of poltergeist activity, I would kick my sister into my grave. Anyone else I didn't like would be struck over the head.


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goatfish57
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09 Dec 2015, 10:30 am

Maybe, I am more afraid of out living my money.

Will people think well of me? I hope so.


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JakeASD
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09 Dec 2015, 11:11 am

Poignant quote from the Tao Te Ching:

"Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner"

I find that the things that I desire or yearn for never transpire when I allow them to monopolise my thoughts processes. They ordinarily occur when I least expect them to happen.


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BirdInFlight
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09 Dec 2015, 11:15 am

I don't want my sister to get any of my stuff. If I make no other arrangements, probably someone will track her or my grownup nieces and nephews down, and hand them my belongings, my flatscreen TV etc. HELL TO THE NO.

Those people kicked me out of their lives and after I'm dead I want to kick them out of having my stuff I worked hard for. They already stole from me once.



smudge
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09 Dec 2015, 11:31 am

BirdInFlight wrote:
I don't want my sister to get any of my stuff. If I make no other arrangements, probably someone will track her or my grownup nieces and nephews down, and hand them my belongings, my flatscreen TV etc. HELL TO THE NO.

Those people kicked me out of their lives and after I'm dead I want to kick them out of having my stuff I worked hard for.


Amen!

BirdInFlight wrote:
They already stole from me once.


What did they steal from you?


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kraftiekortie
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09 Dec 2015, 11:45 am

People might do this to me...People might do that to me.

But I'm not going to let the Bitterness Monster kill me and decay me.

Hell no!

We have Beauty beyond Humanity. I intend to enjoy that Beauty---without or without a Fellow Human.



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09 Dec 2015, 11:50 am

I used to worry about that.

Now I know there are worse things than dying alone.

Believe me, if it happens, you won't care. You'll be beyond that.

Don't waste the life you have worrying about it, or stay in bad relationships because you fear it.

There are worse things than dying alone.

Like living in a cage.


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BirdInFlight
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09 Dec 2015, 12:08 pm

Thank you smudge, you get it!

It was after my parents died, I had to travel back to clear out my things. I had valuable equipment I had saved hard to buy, and my sister promised me she would ship it all to me. I had record collections (vinyl) going back to my chilhood, plus books and other things. My sister actually worked for a shipping company and was going to get a discount, promised me this and that.

She never came good, and when I made polite and friendly enquiries she started pulling bitter arguments out of her butt, slammed the phone down and I never was able to contact or find her again. They kept all my things, some of which had hefty resale value and collectible value, but also was sentimental to me and since I was struggling at that time I could have sorely used some of that resale value myself.

She also denied me inheriting some of my mother's things. The other sister threw my brother out of her house for asking the same questions.

I'm happily estranged from these people and have every right to simply make sure their asses can't give me any final insults.

smudge wrote:
BirdInFlight wrote:
I don't want my sister to get any of my stuff. If I make no other arrangements, probably someone will track her or my grownup nieces and nephews down, and hand them my belongings, my flatscreen TV etc. HELL TO THE NO.

Those people kicked me out of their lives and after I'm dead I want to kick them out of having my stuff I worked hard for.


Amen!

BirdInFlight wrote:
They already stole from me once.


What did they steal from you?



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09 Dec 2015, 12:58 pm

^ Yeah - what Kraftiekortie and Catlover said. What an overreaction and misplaced animosity from BirdinFlight!

I think I will likely not die alone, but if I am ever widowed, I'm gonna look up Kraftiekortie. He definitely has the Right Attitude!


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