Guilt Tripping

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My grandparents' got home today from going away for the winter. They usually leave because I think (now that I have learned more about my family) that my grandma gets depressed easily. Growing up she would say to me, "why can't you just be like the other kids" when I would want to go inside and watch movies instead of hang at the fire with all the kids who would usually make me feel bad about myself. So, I guess I kind of resent what she has said to me. Even though she has problems of her own.

But anyway, they got home today. They are getting pretty old. I think my grandpa is like, 89 or something. My cousin had come over to talk for while and then she left because they got home. I instantly became anxious about going over. I still haven't gone over. I struggle thinking of what to bond with my grandparents' over. I have no idea what to talk about. Should I ask my grandma if she gets easily depressed? I mean, I do too. Maybe we can bond over that? Any advice? Should I feel guilty?

No.

I have no advice on the rest, but feeling guilty won't help.

Do you share any interests or find anything they are into remotely interesting? Do you enjoy hearing about the good old days? Elder people often like talking about that and cherish the time when grandchildren listen. Don't feel guilty, some people are set in their ways, refuse to accept people who are not like themselves and closed minded and there is often little you can do other then accept reality for what it is.

This is exactly while still to this day. I refuse to talk to my mom. She denied for years. She said suff like whe are perfectly normal when it is far from the truth. She would also try to brainwash us into believing her BS. I suggest that A.S.A.P. cut them from your life. I know statistics show that Disabled people are 10x more likely to be abused but still.

This is great advice. Try asking about milestones, or common experiences like "what were things like when you were in school" or "how did you and Grandpa meet," and the like. Sometimes older people will repeat stories over and over again, and this can seem odd or boring if you think about it as communication or education. Consider thinking about it instead as if you are walking through a favorite place/time with them, one you can never experience for yourself. Keep asking about details, to dial it in even further. It can be like traveling into the past, where you are invited and guided into an otherwise unimaginable realm.

I have had conversations with people 40+ years older than myself (they are getting harder to find as I get older ) and this has worked well for me. If you do try it, I hope it will also help you.

You are getting great advice. Do not set the bar to high. Try to keep it simple. Ask if there are any chores around the house that you could do for them. Also, set a time limit. You do not want to hang out too long, especially if they make you anxious.

Most of my Experinces Grand parent wise are horrible, because 2/3rds of my Grandparents are abusers of me and my siblings.

It's bad when parents or grandparents don't understand you & don't except you for who you are. My older sister is like that. I have Cerebral Palsy, I didn't know I had Aspergers until I was in my 20s. My sister was in denial about my Cerebral Palsy, our parents paid more attention to me & my sister got jealous of me getting more attention than her. We never been really close, I think we were close when we were kids. I was very close with my mom, I got lucky, she understood me & knew about Cerebral Palsy, I also have psoriasis too. My mom was always there for me.

I feel bad for other people. Why can't people except you for who you are? Why they need to change you?

Ask her to share her favorite stories about her life. And really enjoy them. This is a great opportunity to learn of a time past and to get to know her as a person, not just as your grandma. I wish I could talk to my grandparents. Two of them I never knew, they died before I was born. The other two I did not really get too much time with. I wish I could have known them better.