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Joined: 20 Jul 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 649
Location: North Charleston SC

31 Dec 2015, 12:33 pm

I have asperegers and one thing that really gets on my nerves is loosing something and then trying to find it. Searching for keys, wallet, or even minor things like scissors and tape always pits me in near blind rage anger in the attempt of searching for them. I never understood why looking for things frustrates me so much because I know there are more important things to worry about. I heard other aspies also get frustrated in these situations.

Well I finally figured out why. Loosing and having to find something causes anxiety frustration from not just one front but several. Let me list them and explain. First your dealing with change, we struggle with dealing with change. Expecting to get something and suddenly realize it not there is dealing with change on a big level. Secondly, your dealing with unpredictability. That's also hard for aspies to deal with. You don't know when you could find it. It may be now or maybe hours from now. Third, ot's a physical exersize. Searching for something requires you to move a lot of things, bend, stoop, and rearrange things. Doing such things is no different then doing house chores except your really not cleaning things. Four, it's a mental activity. You have to think about all the possible places it could be. You have to think back which takes some mental effort and even minor problem solving. I.e. if I was here then I must possibly be here or there. Fifth, it can also invoke being angry at your self, at the object, or even others, it's normal to start assuming other people may have moved it or not even took consideration of where you keep things. Sixth, of couse knowing whatever important thing you need the thing your looking for doesn't get found you can't use it make what3ver needs it to not work out.

As you can see, the reason why trying to find something is frustrating is because is because it steps from many levels. I thought I'd mention this to you guys so the next time you loose something and have to go through having to find it, understanding the source of the frustration might help with dealing with it.

James Hackett

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