Panic attack over work

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My anxiety is through the roof and people I talk too don't seem to understand why.
At work I made a mistake and a customer ended up getting 750 dollars back in a refund when they weren't supposed too. The customer is coming back in to give the money but none the less I will likely be fired or written up. That is my second write up in a month.
I love this job intensely and loosing it will devastate me, I can't calm down and I want to hurt myself now. People keep playing it off like its nothing to get a write up but 2 in a month means I will keep getting them and eventually get fired. I am so tired of my unstable life and future and people making it seem like its no big deal.
Once you start down the path of failure at a job like write ups there is no coming back, there is no coming back for alot of things in my opinion once they start to fall apart.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

In an earlier lifetime part of my job was crisis counseling. I could be awakened at night with a cell phone call from someone who was suicidal. I worked with people that had serious mental illness. One of my colleagues committed suicide.

I had a shutdown and left that job. For a while I did office work, word processing and such. Later I got a job in customer service. I was fond of saying "the thing I like about this job is, nobody kills themself. The worst that could happen is somebody gets their package late."

Maybe you will need to find another line of work where you aren't likely to have this kind of mistake? That is what it took for me.

I love my job, mostly the people in it. I comfortably know how to do most of the stuff they want me to do. Its careless mistakes because of my stupidity that cause me to be fired.

Could you elaborate more on the careless mistakes thing? If you are prone to making this kind of mistake, doesn't it mean you should have a job that doesn't put you in that position? Or looking at it a different way, what leads to you make these mistakes?

I take it you have been fired before? Or are you just projecting into the future, mentally preparing to be fired from this one?

Mentally preparing to be fired, I lost a job 3 years ago and have spent the rest of it in two different grocery stores. Now I am in an office environment and love it but now I could get fired. Careless mistake is because I have weak common sense from stupidity. The way it happened was I was trying to void a transaction for the guy, he looked on his phone and saw the void didn't work and it went through anyway(charging him for the money) so I refunded him the 750 which means he basically got an extra 750 dollars for free.

There are a lot of office environments that don't involve money transactions, though. Myself, I could make more money instantly if I went into the accounting end of things, but I dislike working with numbers. Maybe it's not your strength, either? Don't call yourself stupid, I'm sure like all of us you have strengths and weaknesses.

everyone makes mistakes. people who tend to do well in the long run look for what they can learn from the mistake and don't judge themselves to have a character flaw over it. you aren't stupid, you're human. did you catch the mistake yourself? did you call the guy to come back? if you did either of those things, you're going in the right direction.

If management is aware, would it be helpful to do some re-training on procedures, or leave yourself reminders on more complicated procedures? I sometimes will sometimes tell a customer I need to check with my manager or get my manager to sign off on something if I'm not sure of the procedure--it's okay to not have all the answers right away if you are not sure, especially if this is not part of your normal routine.

I was getting into trouble periodically because I was giving cost estimates for jobs that were too low. These were for really long-term jobs like web site development, and I was underestimating the amount of time I would need to finish the project. We're not allowed to go over the estimated cost unless the client changes the scope of work or requirements, so I was having to do several hundred dollars worth of work for free, about every three months. Finally, my manager decreed that I submit all my estimates to her and another web developer before sending it to the client. She decided that was such a good idea, that everybody should have their estimates reviewed, not just me, so it was good for the team.

My point is, try to focus on solutions instead of panicking--how can things be improved for the future? Changes in procedure? Training? Somebody to check your work? Asking more questions? Sticky note reminders? The solutions that help you may help other people on the team--and that's a win!!

^ nice one, Godzilla Woman! Great example and good suggestion.

You made a mistake---but you corrected it.

It's not automatic that you will be fired.

People make mistakes all the time--but are afraid to correct it for fear that somebody will find out about it. Much money is lost that way.

At least you had the courage to own up to your mistake, so the company will get back the $750.

I`m regularly getting into panicky anxiety about losing my job, so you are not alone there!
I am surpressing one at this moment.

Your being honest is often the best solution as we are only human and a good employer will really value your integrity over any mistake.
The high probability is that your manager supervisor etc have all had moments like this in their own careers!
and if they are self aware people they should recognise that mistakes do happen, and as long as we try to learn by them they can actually be valuable

In my experience the actual consequences are 90% of the time not as bad as you think.... our overthinking often makes things ecome bigger than they need to be..
Hope it works out for you.

so, how did this situation end up?

The customer will return Tuesday after checking his bank account to see if the money doubled on him. Then he will return to pay it back.