Are These Aspie Symptoms/Traits Or Am I Just Alone/Weird ???

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Numbered for your convenience of reference are a fair few of my personal traits, I think I’m just hoping these help me (prior to my official diagnosis) to qualify as an aspie, otherwise I’m just weird or totally misunderstood and alone. If you have other deterministic symptoms to ask of me (to help give an answer) then by all means do and I will respond. I obnly have a few months left (having passed preliminary questionnaire stages) before I am diagnosed face to face (as other on here speak of). Thankyou.

1) I often come across as being a very needy/obsessive person (this would especially probably have been the case were it possible for me to have been in a romantic relationship) but is true with the few close remaining friends I still have. So I text more than I’d like a lot of the time or when I was younger knock at friends doors quite a lot.

2) I’m a fairly suspicious, anxious and paranoid person, always feeling that I’m deliberately being left out and going all out detective to try and catch others out (the latter being a secret).

3) I can socialize to a point, but I can’t make or uphold general conversation (it has to be based on something I’m either interested in or familiar with). I worry that I might be talking for too long and always prefer to be the one to close the conversation to try and look more normal. I often find silences awkward as I see it as me failing to be sociable enough to keep the conversation flowing. I’m intimidated by ‘guy talk’ because I don’t really understand how to get involved (nor have I ever felt comfortable about it) and can find it somewhat pressurizing socializing with women.

4) I struggle to joke around with others as I’m afraid I’ll look stupid (or I just think I look stupid anyway, even if they wouldn’t) or take it too far and as a result I end up just standing aloof like a lemon smiling and doing my best to pretend to find their jokes (amongst each other) funny when in reality it takes a lot more to make me laugh.

5) I see life as being like a TV show or a film and am usually only able to create responses or expectations around what I’ve seen (typically where all works out well in the end, in fiction).

6) I’ve never wanted to grow up and have always been intimidated and afraid of many of the things involved with it (even though some I have gradually embraced). I find myself being most comfortable (purely because it’s the easiest for me) thinking and acting like a 16-18yr old.

7) In some ways I’m fairly emotionless (sympathetic but not empathetic at best) and I hate making a big fuss out of things that most other people would scream or shout about. I can’t stand making a scene or unwanted exhibition of myself in public unless its absolutely necessary (which is almost never).

I’ve always been an extremely private person when it comes to things like getting undressed etc

9) Though I am good at listening and showing interest in what others say, I generally prefer talking about myself and or being the centre of attention (though I try not to).

10) I feel guilty very easily.

11) For most things I prefer similar routines (with just a bit of variation to make things seem less repetitive).

12) I get fairly irritated by hearing the same song or a store advert loop too many times in the day (to the point where as a sales colleague I often stopped demos running on TV’s or Home cinema systems or would always turn the volume down). This did get me in a bit of trouble on a few occasions.

13) Watching programs religiously and never wanting to miss it or see parts of it before watching the whole episode.
14) Keeping my bedroom private (would never let strangers see it)

15) Unintentionally saying offensive things and sometimes not seeing how they could be offensive

16) Never letting anything go which I hear and want repeated (dog with a bone)

17) Spending lot’s of time alone (even though I’d want to see each of my friends perhaps 1-3 times per week depending on who it was.

18) Keeping lists and various recordings about loads of different things (odd and random to most others)

19) Very inflexible about where certain things can go in my room (i.e furniture)

20) Always want the volume down very low when speaking to others as I can get distracted quite easily.

21) Poor multitasking, preferring to focus on one thing at a time only.

22) Never wanted love (only felt tempted when I was first depressed and lonely). I’m always respected (because I show at least kindness and courtesy to all), rarely liked and never loved.

23) Often want to be the best at anything I really enjoy

24) Sometimes willing but somewhat involuntarily uncomfortable meeting new people

25) Often persistent (easily more than any aspie I know on here) and impatient and very verbose

26) No interest in travelling

27) Always looking to please others and receive praise/recognition to feel better about myself

28) Afraid of displeasing or upsetting others

29) Though much improved since going to work, I can still have a very low level of common sense at times.

30) Obsessions

31) Very nostalgic

32) Often require very detailed and often precise instructions

33) Though much improved, I can be fairly gullible or easily mislead (or I take a bit longer than others to wise up to the truth).

Most of these seem like either textbook aspie traits or logical results of living with said traits (i.e. worried about being left out). I can think of times in my life when I've exhibited probably around 80% of these.

I don't think you're hopeless, and you're certainly not alone .

I can absolutely relate to a lot (but not all) of those, so I'd say you're similar to myself at least, not not alone.

I've been called weird all the time, but that's "normal" for me.

I can relate to that entire list. It's why I'm here and seeking diagnosis.

so many of these are me too!! !! ! you're not alone im glad im not either omg i thought some of these were just a weird me thing too!

Those sound pretty spectrum-esque. For anyone who can't find someone to evaluate them or would like a better idea before they go in, I recommend the RAADS-R. I would say the major downside of this test is that some people say the scoring is confusing. If anyone would like, just direct message me and I can help with that. I keep my own scores on hand for comparison. I score as "super neurotypical", so a polar opposite from being autistic.

Something that stood out from your post, OP- you said you weren't interested in "love" from other people. What exactly do you mean by this? Are you saying that you're not interested in closeness of any kind? Do you have a pet? Is emotional closeness okay, but you wouldn't want physical closeness, or maybe you just wouldn't want someone living with you and around you all the time? I would say that it's more common for an autistic person to feel comfortable around pets and select people, but to still need time on their own. That's completely normal and still falls under the umbrella of regular loving relationships. However, if you're talking about asexuality, that's something different that would be considered an orientation.

I'm just bringing this up for you to think about and define a little bit more to yourself before you talk about it with a therapist or diagnostic professional.