My life's going nowhere

Post Reply New Topic

I made a terrible mistake. I encouraged my family to move to a one horse town in the middle of nowhere. I had no experience of living in such places and we were desperate to get away from somewhere where the area was dangerous and making us all stressed.

So we moved to a picture perfect little town. Now I'm stuck here and it's hell. Loads of people are bullying me because if you're not a local and you have strong opinions people label you a trouble maker. Before I realized this it was too late. I tried to get involved in community stuff and since I was educated and confident I upset other people.

I have no friends and basically people here don't like me at all. There are no colleges here. Since we moved cutbacks in the UK have affected country areas more than city ones and this area has been devastated. My parents are trying to move but I have no idea how long it will take. I am one of those people who wants company everyday, to me solitude is unbearable.

So I have become really unhappy. I've been stuck here so long and lost so many opportunities and maybe I'll never find any again. It can't be normal to be around 30 years old and have no friends. Everyone else I know, even people with mental illness, have loads of friends. But I'm too adventurous to be happy talking football and cars all the time. When I go and stay in London for a holiday, though, I know nobody and so end up feeling lonely there too. Everyone is so busy and a lot of people there seem stuck up. It seems no one has any understanding for anyone who is alone.

I'm in the same boat as you: I live in a small town, though not impossibly far from a city environment. I don't get along with people here because they're all primarily uneducated and not inclined to like people who are liberal and opinionated and just quirky.

I only have one friend: My partner, really that's it. I'm 30 this year with no other friends, so you're not the only one! It leads to a lot of feelings of isolation, but then when I get around to trying to meet people online I can't really find anyone who takes making friends seriously. Females think I'm too weird and males usually don't want to hang out because they want a romantic relationship with me.

I also hate solitude, even though social situations make me stressed, so I can usually only deal with one close person. I know it's a terrible feeling to seemingly be the only one in your area who is like you are, but I feel like I'm going nowhere fast too. That may not offer a lot of consolation to you, but do realize others know how unbearable it is to be alone and are in a similar situation.

Yeah, you have made a mistake.
We moved here when I was 4. Now I'm 23, people still hate my guts.

I live in a quiet coastal town, in which I have no friends; no job; no degree and I am completely dependent on my mother. I am no child either (despite acting like an infant) as I will be 'celebrating' my 26th birthday in May. Suffice to say, my entire existence is an utter embarrassment. My life is so laughable that sometimes I fantasize about being imprisoned in a 6ft x 6ft cell.

I feel uncomfortable in a small-town environment (and grew up in one). I prefer to be solitary and invisible, and it's easier to be invisible in a big city, than in a small town.

No problem fifasy; for years I've felt like everyone else was out there making friends and that I've been some kind of perpetual stranger who couldn't fit in no matter what they tried.

It is a lot more difficult in a small town, and moving to a large town would offer the benefit of people more willing to accept atypical opinions and personal quirks.

Though I do agree with you that people are quick to judge those not like them, but I also believe they fear them.

Small town people tend to have stronger religious affiliations, and if you don't mesh with their values, they take offence. Most people don't want their values questioned because that involves life reevaluation, it's easier to just keep different kinds of people out.

Homemade pickles, do you have a farm where you grow your own cucumbers? Also, sweet pickles or sour? Regardless, if it's a hobby that you can really get into and makes you happy, then anyone else can shove off, I suppose.

I just want to mention that there are other places to live besides a very small town and a very large city. Mid-size cities (under 1 million, say) can be very livable. It's not a polar choice, there are many points in between.