"Personality clothing" and adult relationships

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I thought of putting this in love and dating, but it's applicable to some degree to friendships as well.

I feel that at least, if not more, important than my lack of social skills as a barrier to forming relationships is the way in which most adults' core personalities and actual needs are hidden from the majority of people around them. When I was a child, in elementary school, I didn't have interest in making friends. Now, as an adult, I find it very disappointing that one can't make friends, much less date, with so few barriers.

It's as though most kids' (and animals', for that matter) personalities are "naked", whereas most adults' have lots of "clothing". Most casual relationships take place with that "clothing" remaining on the whole time, and connecting deeply takes time. This is also why the whole short-term vs. long-term relationship thing really irks me. I don't have the necessary relationship experience to know what I really want in a girlfriend, so I don't feel like I am ready for the commitment necessary for what NTs think of as a long-term relationship, yet on the other hand, even in a very short-term type I would like the kind of genuineness that NTs almost never seem to have in their short-term relationships.

The refreshing thing about (some) other aspies is that their personalities are likely to be "naked" too--although this seems less common in aspies who were diagnosed later in life. The "clothing" I'm talking about seems to mainly consist of not actually expressing wants and needs directly, but rather behaving in ways that, through the social standing this gives them, result in those wants and needs being fulfilled.

I myself, and some other aspies, also can have a kind of "shell", but with us it's more like a scab, in other words a product of bitterness and not succeeding in the world. We learn how to block the world out in various ways, for instance it seems like our special interests can act as a "shield". They are something inanimate we can obsess over to not think about our human needs. We can also sometimes get arrogant about these interests (along the lines of Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory), again as a means of not dealing with the world of human connection. However, once we need something or decide to open up, we still are "naked" underneath, and form real human connections with others as long as the others are the same way (which, as I say, most adults aren't).

Do any others of you wish adults were as open personality-wise as kids?

You're words reflect my own to a large degree. The NT world is emotion based, they display and read one another freely. They know and understand how each other is feeling.

I am completely blind to their emotional state. I really wish I could see and understand as they do. I've done many tests on the web to identify just how face-blind I am, and I'm really really bad.

I've been looking for a relationship for neigh on 30 years now and am still no closer to finding that special woman. I'm not entirely sure what the problem is, weather it's all me, or the female emotional needs not being met, or weather I'm just too odd. I don't know.

I can make friendly acquaintances easy enough. A lot of people at work like me, but nobody wants to take me home to meet their mother. I'm still trying to figure it all out. Am I missing something? Am I doing something wrong? Do I act odd? Am I just rude? Am I too self centered? I've been to therapists and read widely through the social rules books. And I'm still clueless and single. If you find out, please post it up. (or write a book, it'll be a best seller).