does life get better for people with aspergers.

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okay i have aspergers. i am 20 years old. i have never been kissed and i have never had sex. i dont have friends and i don't go out. i hate life and i have hated it for a while. i mean i feel like a neurotypical trapped with the brain of an aspie. i really hate aspergers. it has ruined my life so much. i hate it so f*****g much. i wish i had friends. my only friends right now are my dad and my dog. i live at home right now. i don't work and i have a hard time finding work due to my aspergers. i cant do simple orders. even simple tasks i cant do. when i am giving it a 100% and i am working as hard as i can i am still just working at a normal persons bad working level. i did have a job. my dad got me the job it was very easy it was a job that would deal with local political elections in the state of New York and since they are only about 5 elections a year there wasn't much work to be done so i would usually just watch Netflix on my laptop most of the day. i tried getting along with co workers and other workers but i was very socially inappropriate and i had a messy desk which got alot of the other employees mad and my co worker called me ret*d so i quit my job. i used to go to school i went to a local community college and i struggled with school because i have a hard time with tests and i have a learning disability and when it comes to math and grammar i am at like a 2nd grade level. so school was very hard for me. i even got kicked out of a class because apparently i was acting inappropriate and talking to much in class and preventing the other students from learning so the teacher kicked me out. i continued to go to school i failed my other two classes. my math teacher recognized my depression and felt bad for me. the only good thing about school was a club i went to. i did good in the club and the professor said i was smart and gifted and he was the first ever professor to make me feel smart and truly see my potential. i am not working now. and my parents want me to work. i have severe depression and i spend pretty much every day in bed sleeping and on Netflix. i am so depressed it is literally hard to breathe. i am overweight and i have acne. i am so embarrassed of my weight and acne and i don't like to leave my home. i have a hard time working. i don't drive and i don't want to use public transportion for personal reasons. i mean i hate life. i have the social skills of a 5 year old and i don't know how to have conversations and i often offend or make people uncomfortably when i talk to them. i am very inappropriate when i talk and i definitely wasn't born with the concept of time and place when it comes to conversations. i often feel punished. like i don't know what i did wrong to deserve this life. i am starting to think i will never truly have friends. now i will definitely be able to get a license to drive and get a car. and i might be able to work but due to my lack of skills it will probably be a very basic job bagging grociers or something like that. anyway i do have some friends i have a friend from camp and i have a couple friends from an autistic support group i go to. i had one best friend in high school and even though we had a rocky relationship he was still my only friend and we text daily right now. anyway i doubt i will ever get kissed. hell i am like girl repellent. i have freaked out and drove girls a million miles away from me. i have had so many failures with women i really don't want to try anymore. i mean whenever i start liking a girl it becomes absoultley terrible. i put all this pressure on her and i put her on this huge pedestal and start thinking we are going to spend the rest of our lives together then i end up freaking them out and they then avoid me like the plague. so i doubt i will ever get kissed. i really don't want to go on living anymore i remember telling myself by 17 i will have had sex i didnt i remember at 17 telling myself i will have sex at 18 and i remember at 18 telling myself i would at least have sex at 20. well that has not happened and i probably have a better chance of curing cancer then having sex before 21. i mean i feel as if my life is one big failure and i honestly don't want to live anymore. i don't know what i did to deserve this i really don't. i like to think i am a descent person but what the f**k did i do to deserve this life. god my life is more depressing than talking about the holocaust at a funeral. i mean people will always tell me things might get better and i am like i don't think they will i don't think anything will ever get better.i remember being 18 and going to an autistic support group and seeing all the people in the group. they were all over 25 and non of them had never had any sort of romantic relationship or had even been kissed. it was absoultley horrible having to look directly at my future. i mean the hardest thing was seeing my aspergers up close and with that group i had to see it up close how my aspergers affected and annoyed other people. i had been to autistic support groups with people younger than me and people the same age as me. but seeing people older with aspergers was seeing my future and the one thing that always gave me hope was the thought of a good future and seeing them was seeing my future and its a bleak lonely sexless future

You sound, understandably, very overwhelmed by all the obstacles you face.

You need to choose *one* thing that you would like to try to work on. Trying to fix all your problems at once is going to paralyzingly overwhelming.

Personally, I would try to get a job, even if it is only bagging groceries.
Or try volunteering somewhere.
Having a reason to get up in the morning and an obligation to be somewhere or do something for someone else is a great help in combating depression.

And, LIFE IS NOT ABOUT SEX.
This, you just need to get through your head.
Lots of people have lots of sex and still feel empty inside.
Sex is not a cure-all for loneliness or depression or feeling worthless.
Neither does it mark the arrival of adulthood, nor does it give a person a stamp of validation.

There are things you *can* do to improve your situation.
Eating healthier foods and being more physically active helps mood, and may help your weight and even your acne problem.
You can see a dermatologist about your acne if it is severe.
Get in touch with that professor who said you were gifted. Maybe he will have some insight into some kind of activity or project you could get involved in that would benefit you.
Figure out how to get past your aversion to public transportation or get your license.

The truth is that you have some choices. You make your own future, to a degree. You see how things are heading now. If you don't change anything, I guess that's where you will end up. But, if you want to head in a different direction, you need to make some different choices to try and get there. Things are not all just because of what happens to us.

As they say when you have met one person with Aspergers you have met one person with Aspergers, but it usually gets better as you go a little further into adulthood and learn coping mechanisms.

A small step for now is to try and figure what worked for you in that math club and use that. Taking one step at a time is a better approach, especially for those with Aspergers.

That wall of text. I read it all though, then understood why.

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. Unfortunately, life is bleak and depressing for many of us. The reality you are coming to is a bridge I crossed myself not too long ago. Slightly different circumstances, but very similar point of view. If you keep at it, you will learn some important life lessons and gain some valuable wisdom.

Life is beautiful despite all of this, you will come to realise it. Things like weight, relationships and jobs are insignificant on the grand scale of things. When you take care of your mental health, everything else will fall into place. You need to battle your depression, can you get professional help? Simply decide that you don't want to spend the rest of your life like this, and start doing something each day that will get you to your goal.

As I started reading your post I could honestly see and feel the pain that you are going through and I am really sorry. You are going to need to drop the expectations society has placed on you. Forget about telling yourself that you should be able to do this or that at this point in your life, forget about telling yourself you should have experienced sex or have accomplished this ir that at your age. Don't try and be someone else, just work towards being the best version of you that you can be, one step at a time.

I would find a therapist that you can work with on an ongoing basis who can help you set goals and help you achieve them. Pick one goal at a time. You are going to need to have treatment for your depression as well if the dark cloud that makes your life look so bleak is to go away.

No Friends
You said you do have friends and a handful. Thats more than most people. Even those people with 5000 people on facebook or their phone, none of those people would help them out if they needed it. I mean some typicals might have 5000 friends but few people in this world have 1 real friend so you are blessed. I seen alot of typicals with alot of friends, then see their so called friends steal from them or talk about them behind their back. Dont worry about that cause you are doing ok there really.

No Job
Yes having aspergers and a career is not easy. I know man. I think i just paced in circles for the last 4 hours talking to myself. I cant get stuff done either. But still, I am 35 now and started my own business. I get a check from the gov cause of aspergers so I really dont need a job but work on my own business so I can get rich eventually. Now people with aspergers get computer jobs just for having aspergers. That will come in time, you are too young to worry so much. Try getting a job less stressful or without a office full of jerks. Nothings wrong with a messy desk and that lady could have been in jail for calling you a name because she would have deserved it. Most offices are different in the way they are filled with adults. You will find a career in time, even if you cant focus well. You are still too young to kick yourself for not being successful. My step bro and cousin always acted like they were better than me cause their parents paid for their college but when they got out they couldnt find a job. This takes a lifetime to perfect.

No Sex
This sounds like the real issue you are dealing with. I dont blame you for being frusterated. At your age sex is all I thought about. First off alot more people your age are in the same situation, they just lie so much it doesnt seem it. And at your age you arent supposed to get girls. And when you start to learn and figure out how they work over time you will be able to get any girl you want, even if you are not brad pitt. You will get girls, just to be totally honest you are young and do not know anything about girls yet. When I was your age I did not get girls either and I was pretty upset at times just like you are. Now that I know how I can pick up most girls, but I never thought I would be able to when I was 20. And really I dont mean to get too personal but theres secrets that really do work that man cant really explain but it really works like for example quit jacking off. It works I promise and fast enough too.

Not attractive
Ok you are fat and you have acne. At least those things can easily be fixed. At least you arent plain out ugly cause you cant fix that. Start a workout routine. If you see another girl thats thick or has acne ask her if she wants to hang out and watch a movie.

Thats the other thing, most guys get frustrated and feel hopeless when really they just have a communication problem. They dont ask girls out then complain they dont have a girl. Well girls dont like asking the guy out. If you dont talk to them you really will never get a girl, but dont worry you will learn. Like I said at 20 I never thought I would have lived the life I did. Now that I think I was alot like you at that age. Keep your head up dude, you really arent as bad off as you think, really you are ok.

Message me if you ever want to talk. I like to make autistic friends if you ever want to talk about getting girls or something.

When I got diagnosed I was told that it will get easier.

10 years later and I find that with a very lot of hard work, tenacity and fight it has got easier.

It's still f*****g hard though and I think we will always struggle with things that other people might just take for granted.

Sorry I couldn't read all your post because I'm not good with long texts.

Good luck though.

I had the same pernicious thoughts about sex for, at the very least, four years. I felt utterly inferior to my peers, who had all lost their virginitys long before school had concluded. I myself didn't lose my virginity until last year (at 24), and although I could breathe a huge sigh of relief that my 'cherry had been broken', I must confess that the actual experience of having sex wasn't as nearly arousing as I had pre-conceived. Even the subsequent sexual experiences were rather tedious to me. It is shameful for me to admit but I only enjoyed sex after drinking copious amounts of vodka, which to my deranged mind was morally objectionable. I do not believe alcohol should be used as some form of aphrodisiac, yet I am sure it is all the time.

When I was depressed,I thought that I didn't have friends because I have Aspergers, but I actually didn't have friends because I was depressed. I mean, if you knew that someone was in their house all of the time brooding about how much their life sucks, would you go and speak to them? Happiness isn't something to gain from other people, it's something you get yourself. Nobody is going to hire someone who is constantly down. Would you be friends with someone who can never smile? I realised that honestly most people just can't be arsed with helping people and the majority of people just want people to care about them. If you want to be happy, be happy. And then, once you're happy, friends and a good life come naturally. Just talking to someone out of the blue could get you another friend, if you're not brooding around them. Get in someone else's shoes. Only you can make yourself happy.

I think life does generally improve for Aspies as long as we don't let ourselves get too downhearted and defeatist. Of course there's a certain amount of luck in the equation, but Aspies are good at learning, if a little slow at it sometimes. I agree that a job can be useful as a regular social commitment - personally I became happier when I quit, but the freedom I acquired did have something of a downside, because paradoxically having duties to discharge seems to be good for the psyche, at least to a degree. I think the main thing is to do stuff, to strive to achieve something, it probably doesn't much matter what it is. Fear of letting other people down can be a good motivator, if the anxiety isn't too uncomfortable. And confidence-building is usually helpful, if you can work out how to do it - I wish I knew more about that, but I do know that confidence makes a huge difference to forging a satisfying life.

It got better for me.