Wtf is up here

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My sister has mild learning difficulties. Its global as in it affects all aspects of mental development, shes also very small and had to take growth hormones. Despite this she seems more like a normal kid than i ever did. She has no social problems. I dont understand how can she be normal in that way but be unable to do basic things like counting. Totally confuses me.

People with Down's Syndrome and William's Syndrome tend to be socially adept, despite their learning difficulties.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. I think it's very typical to wish you had someone else's set. Some of us seem to have way more strengths, but that's the way it goes sometimes. Unfair? Sure. We're all just playing the cards we've been dealt.

Has your sister had genetic testing? Girls with Turner syndrome (only one X chromosome) often have short stature, learning difficulties, and (less commonly) social problems similar to those seen in Asperger's.

http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/turner-syndrome

My really broad generalization. ..

A friend who taught sped said she'd rather have a class of low children with DS, than a room full of higher functioning ASD children. The reason being DS children could "more or less get along with everyone, less hassle socially".

Believe me DS children have their challenges, and everyone of them is slightly different. Some of those children couldn't read or count to ten.

I know an Aspie who was hunting for a job. The local fast food place hires people who are challenged. Has three DS workers there. I figured it was a good place to apply. The guy lasted 3 months (doing similar type of work, not running the register, mostly clean up). Those other workers have been there for years.

So yeah. Being book smart does not equal social smart. You might not know who the President is or count to 100, but have a pretty active social life.

That is a real eye opener in just how hard high functioning ASD people have it in comparison to other developmentally delayed people even if they have IQs several times higher than theirs.

I have a cousin who has learning difficulties, and even though she was in her own world a lot as a child and didn't make conversations very well, she still seemed better at making friends than me, even though I wasn't in my own world and I was always told I could have conversations better than she did. I remember at birthday parties she didn't participate well in the games, she couldn't take in properly what was going on around her and unintentionally played the games wrong, like running the wrong way round in Musical Chairs, and staring off into space when in Pass The Parcel hence not taking notice of where the parcel was. I, on the other hand, co-operated better than she did when participating in social activities with other kids; I wasn't in a world of my own, I knew the rules of the games/activities by mirroring the other kids, and I spoke to more kids than she did. And she was a year older than me. Yet she still seemed to make friends much better than me.

And no it wasn't anything to do with her upbringing because she has 2 sisters and they were always fine.

Edited: And she wasn't deaf or blind either, she was tested for hearing because she wasn't very interactive as a baby but it turned out she had no hearing problems.

I think all mental disabilities/illnesses/disorders can affect a person socially to an extent. Depressed people can become withdrawn and isolate themselves. Bipolar can make a person awkward to get along with. ADHD can make a person annoying and socially awkward due to inattentiveness. A person with low IQ issues may find some social aspects challenging, because for SOME social skills you need a certain intelligence too. Social ability is not all for "dumbwads" (as what some Aspies seem to see allistic people as).

And people with things like Altzheimer's disease can be VERY socially challenged. I work in a care home, and most of the folks there have some form of Dementia, and believe me, I feel very NT when around people with Dementia.

My niece with Down's Syndrome is less socially handicapped than my son with high functioning autism. I watch her read social situations--and at times, manipulate them to her own advantage. Granted, some of this is because she is the baby of a large family and is a very cute little girl...so her world sort of revolves around her in some ways and she has learned that.

But socially, even though my HFA son is older and has been specifically taught social skills, he still has a much harder time than my niece, reading people and situations. Things that she will do automatically, such as play "hard-to-get" when she knows she has people vying for her attention, he has no clue about how to go about working something like that to his advantage socially.

I understand how this feels unfair. My niece is well-loved and has lots of people vying for her attention. People share articles with my sister in law on facebook with titles such as "Down's Syndrome--the 'love' gene." People comment on how sweet she is and she literally has no issues getting along with anyone. Just doesn't happen. My son is loved, too--he can be a sweet little cutie; but there is also that element of "we love him...but...he can be rather difficult at times." Social difficulties can surely make a person feel deficient even though the same person can also have a lot of strengths. It is sometimes hard to see the person's strengths because of the social skill problems.

But, when the situation seems unfair to me, I remind myself that she too will have her challenges in life. I will take the problems I have and know...over taking over someone else's problems, any day!

I admit Autism is more isolating than other mental disabilities, but intellectually challenged people can also be affected socially to a degree, even if it doesn't make them as socially isolated as an Autistic person can be.

I have a neighbour who has mental retardation very severely, but he does not have any form of Autism. He's also physically disabled so needs a wheelchair all the time. He's very loving and sociable, but at the same time he cannot talk, only babble and dribble. He is 27 and requires 24-hour care. Although everybody loves him, he still will never be able to live independently, get married, go out with friends, work, drive, have kids, etc. He was born with this disability. He goes to a club for adults with disabilities just to get him out and mixing with people.

@previous poster....

No one felt worse than me when he told my husband he quit his fast food job.

The owners were kind to him (at least that's what he said)

The coworkers were more or less fine. No real issues.

He had a list of jobs that he just checked off when finished. They do that for the DS workers. One worker is in his 30s (?). He shows me his little note pad.

"Hello, this is what I have left to do before I get my ride home."

High five to you sir! I would last 30 minutes before I would crawl out of my skin.

What killed to for the Aspie guy was horrible social anxiety (he never told me), and sensory overload. I get the sensory overload, fast food places feel zooey to me.

I guess the owners tried different shifts to see what would work, but it was too much. They really liked him.

My brother is similarly disabled, illiterate and has an IQ under 70, he was up until recently much better socially than I but when you become an adult things become a lot tougher for everybody.

Everyone has a different set of talents and disabilities. Your sister might be more socially adept than you, but she might have more problems living independently and finding a job. It doesn't make either of you better or worse.

When I was in WPB I worked with a Downs syndrome kid. We had to go up and down the intra coastal doing jobs from a pontoon powered by a powerful outboard. After a while we decided to take turns driving and picking up the trash. One day he was driving and was going full speed. He loved those runs when we had to get somewhere. Well someone reported us to the police and I got into some serious trouble. They thought that because he didn't look normal that he shouldn't be driving and because I looked normal I should be in charge. I felt that because he lived there and knew all the shoals around Peanut island that we were safer if he drove especially after I got stuck once and he steered us out.