How do I get a more adult mindset?

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I feel like I can't survive on my own with Asperger's even when I'm well in my 20's. I have the mindset of a young teen. How can I get out of my old mindset and into a more mature one as soon as possible if I'm not mobile?

In what ways do you feel you need to mature?
As long as you make sure to do the things which need to be done such as turning up for work, paying your bills, feeding yourself etc, how youthful your mindset is, is no problem.

I have several unique challenges:

* I have some physical challenges with using conventional kitchen equipment.

* I take in and process new information really slowly, that by the time I come up with a thought, it's too late.

* I feel physically out of shape because of my low muscle tone, I see no point in getting in shape if I'm going to remain a weak scrawny mess forever.

* I have trouble with keeping a hygiene routine, nor because of laziness but I find it so mentally exhausting to keep it up.

Am I screwed?

I feel like I want to survive on my own but I can't. I'm tired of using the disability card too. I just want to be normal, but I can't help thinking I'm low-functioning in some way or have some learning disability.

None of that suggests there's a problem with your mindset, the fact that you have identified these issues and want to fix them suggests that you are very mature and certainly not screwed.
I understand the feeling you have about not wanting to use the "disability card", I think I'd feel the same way if I were in your shoes, but I think a lot of these issues are ones which require a more hands on approach rather than advice from an Internet forum. I would suggest discussing them with a doctor, particularly any physical limitations you might have and hopefully they might be able to provide you with the help and guidance you need to learn to live independently and successfully.

Edit: This CAPTCHA bug is awful! I have had so much trouble posting this! I had to install Mozilla Firefox just to post this comment!

This could be resolved by having your house set up with adaptive equipment. Have you talked to a professional about what kind of equipment would work?

For example I know some people in wheelchairs have sinks, baby cribs, and so forth designed to be used from a seated position. Little people often have everything moved to a lower height so they can reach comfortably. All sorts of things can be done to adapt a home for someone with physical challenges.



Can you clarify what you mean by this? Maybe give examples?



What do you want out of getting in shape? To be a buff athlete? Or just to be healthier and able to do more than you used to be able to do?

You're probably right in thinking you'll never be the buff athlete type, but getting in shape could make it easier for you to do everyday activities, and make you healthier. I recommend you get help from a physical therapist for that rather than going for resources used by most people looking to get fit. As someone with hypotonia myself, I've found it can create some unique challenges getting fit that most fitness resources have no clue how to deal with.



What precisely is exhausting about it?

I find remembering to do certain tasks regularly exhausting, because my brain doesn't do automatic reminders when I need to do stuff - instead, I need to hold that thought constantly in mind or else risk not remembering to do it later. If, for example, I plan to do dishes later that day, I need to keep thinking every few minutes 'I should do dishes today' in order to remember to actually do it. Otherwise, I will probably only remember it once it's too late.



I think you should examine your attitudes. I'm guessing people have tried to shame you for not being able to do things because of your disability, and accused you of using your disability as an excuse, and this has happened so often you've started to believe them. But they were wrong. You aren't 'using the disability card'. You are playing life on hard mode. It's not reasonable to hold you to the same standard as someone who doesn't have the same challenges you have. You are probably working much harder for far less reward than any of the people who've made you feel like a failure.

Now, I'm also afraid of not being able to "measure up" with other people on stuff (especially my male peers), but what can I do?

Nearly all men have that fear, they're all trying to measure up to somebody else and that does nothing but breed insecurity. The truth is, the only person you need to measure up to is yourself. Set your own standards, decide what it is that you want, figure out what can you do to make that happen and then work towards it. As long as you are happy that you are putting in the effort and working towards those goals then you measure up.
It's a hard habit to break out of but if you can, it will take an enormous weight off your shoulders.