Anyone feel when someone is proud of you it means nothing

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I feel like really bad when someone says they are proud of me because of my low self esteem.

Same. Not good at accepting complements.

To me, it's better to use compliments (when they're sincere) as a boost to your self-esteem.

I believe this is true: people are frequently their own worst enemies. I know I am my own worst enemy sometimes.

All the ones I have gotten online have boosted my self confidence some at least. But my self esteem is not so great still.

I don't even hope anymore that anybody could explain this to me.

- how can a compliment change in any way your value (in positive or negative way)?

- what does it mean to be proud?
Does it mean that you suddenly think that the value of somebody (or yourself) is higher than what you expected at first? This it would just mean that you were mistaken at first when valuing this person? Or?

I feel better about myself when I accomplish something that I have been working on... Or when I reflect back on moments such as this.

When someone else talks about my accomplishments (even the same ones that I am proud of myself) I feel unsure. People have mentioned my accomplishments as praise, but also, as something to use against me: "You can not possibly be disabled, you were class valedictorian."

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."

I wanted to be Valedictorian!

Oh well!

It was a little easier in a class of 12 people. Though not as easy as the class of 8 people that graduated the next year.

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."

It's a great accomplishment, nevertheless.

Most at the time. For various reasons other than self esteem.

I'm being showered with compliments, I cannot distinguish between a genuine one from a fake one. Either are rather sound more or less patrionizing.

If not that, I didn't want it. I would rather watch moments of someone being proud of someone else than me.

And most of all, I don't want attention. Even 'good' ones. I barely appreciate it.

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This doesn't mean anything to me either, because all is relative to me.
The only thing I get out of someone telling me they're proud of me is an immediate foreboding because I assume it will all go to sh!t and then, if they think this way, they will be conversely disappointed in me. I don't like that others make this binary / polarized judgement of bad / good, proud / disappointed because it seems to communicate they cannot allow for change, circumstances, and alternatives in perspective. It seems a very simplistic, extreme judgement and I'm suspicious of it.

kraftiekortie: "To me, it's better to use compliments (when they're sincere) as a boost to your self-esteem.

I believe this is true: people are frequently their own worst enemies. I know I am my own worst enemy sometimes."

When you are feeling down, know that you are very kind to many people here, and I, at least, appreciate it.

EzraS: "All the ones I have gotten online have boosted my self confidence some at least. But my self esteem is not so great still."

I appreciate many of your posts too, EzraS. I noticed you feeling bad about a post earlier, thinking that you had offended people, and saying that maybe you shouldn't post anymore. Please don't feel bad; I really enjoyed the back and forth conversation that resulted (and I actually agreed with your point of view).

Should we be complimenting each other on a thread where people are saying they have a hard time accepting compliments?

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."

I don't like them. It feels like the way that I don't like birthday parties.

Too much attention. Dangerous. Trouble coming from outside.

I don't know what made me feel that way. Could be bad parenting, or could be something cognitive from the spectrum. Interesting that others here feel it.

I try to ignore compliments but try not to show that I'm putting them aside, because others then feel like I'm being rude, and I'm in trouble twice.

I do like feeling a good sense of personal accomplishment when I do something myself and I say, "hey that was pretty cool", or "what a righteous hack" - that's different. It's quiet and comes from myself.

If it's something that I'm proud of, getting complimented feels great.

If it came too easily, or felt like a fluke, or I don't think I did a good job at it, then a compliment feels fake and hollow to me.

neptunekh, is it that you can't feel proud of yourself when you accomplish something? Is that why you have trouble accepting compliments?