Do some of us think we can judge others on the spectrum?

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By this I mean the common idea people with many conditions and in particular groups have that somehow because we have something in common we believe we can judge another's behavior as being their actual personality and not a problem caused by their condition?

A dangerous assumption with autism especially, as we can manifest very divergently, and not one I have been immune to making myself. It shames me when I do it.

To clarify, I have noticed patterns like this on here, too. I won't say who, because I would be in danger of doing the above myself, ironically.

It's always important to keep in mind that a lot of the people you are talking to or reading here have a serious neurological disorder.

I think if anything we need to be more direct about being knowledgeable judges of character. I know a guy with AS I just cannot deal with. He's relentlessly pessimistic, self-entitled and identifies me similarly to his parents. I'm a cautious optimist & so I could take or leave my diagnosis; all anyone seriously needs to know about me is that I'm way too studious. Being entirely non-judgmental is tedious & can attract lots of negative attention; lately I've had to dial that back just to get enough peace/quiet to keep working. A friend or 2 of mine might fit the criteria however they comprise a faction of people I know who support psychiatric drugs - really not my thing. Everyone views the world according to individual standards; we have something of a collective here but we still need our identities & the rights to adapt our perceptions.

I believe we should, at times, assess the behavior of people with autism using a "human" scale, not merely an autism scale. Many times, we should dispense with excusing the nasty behaviors of all people.

An a**hole is an a**hole is an a**hole, no matter the neurology of a person.

A caring person is a caring person is a caring person, no matter the neurology of a person.

,^^^This

I occasionally say judgemental things about people, but ultimately I don't feel able to judge anybody definitively because I don't know what's behind their behaviour. But I don't find that tedious or likely to leave me vulnerable to anybody. In my world, if I feel I have to shut a person out, it's because there's a compatibility problem which is nobody's fault. Unlike many folks, I don't seem to need to justify such things, it's just the way it is, so I don't have to demonise anybody to make my decisions seem reasonable. I don't feel guilty about shunning people I don't get on with.

And that's perfectly reasonable. As a coping strategy, if you are under stress, I would say you have to protect yourself. It's really hard to explain that to non-autistics, sometimes. I am a good communicator technically, and they end up thinking I am just making excuses for being rude, when I feel the way you mentioned. I think my capability means they believe I always know what it comes across like. Being high functioning can mean they don't really comprehend that you look at things differently.

But in a written context I think, although we may still make some errors due to our condition, in this format we come across far more truly as ourselves, and personal attitudes that are not the autism, but just being, frankly, a jerk, do reveal themselves.

I know, I have been at times....I was immensely tactless a while back to someone on here I was trying to help. that wasn't aspergers, just f***ing stupid

I've just thought that my line of reasoning could be situationally recursive. People judging people for judging other people, who may not realize they are doing it and therefore judging the first. help!

Theres that gay low functioning at my school, he used to stalk me like a creep. I don't know why I should refrain from judging him. Creeps are creeps.

Regarding things that can be called "being a jerk" -- I don't care if I'm being a jerk because the times I'm "being a jerk" to anyone on here is usually because they've been a jerk to me first, and I'm dishing back what I've been given.

There are jerks on here who start the jerkdom and I'm not going to just lay down and take it from those a-holes.

And I honestly don't give a flying F if people think I'm a jerk -- because I know that that's not the only thing I am.

Nobody is ever really one thing.

I'm also a really nice, good person. But I'm not afraid to dish out the jerkness if someone's been an a-hole to me.

There's nothing wrong with that and I don't care for pollyanna tippy-toe people who think you have to ALWAYS be nicey-nice.

I'm nice when there's a reason to be. But I'm not going to stand there and be nice anymore if there's not a reason.

As for actual judging of qualities, traits etc -- there are people here who harshly judge other for things like being "too high functioning." People here accuse other all the time of not being autistic, skeptical about their diagnosis etc.

Or judging others for not working or being able to work. None of that stuff is ANYONE's business and they don't know the true capabilities or inabilities of anyone here without knowing them well, and even then nobody knows what's going on inside someone.

To me a label doesn't matter. Only the behavior does and their personality and that kind of people they are and what attitude they hold or their philosophies. I tend to treat everyone the same. I don't care if you are black or autistic or gay or Bipolar or whatever. If you are a jerk or abusive, I will think those things of you. A label doesn't change it. If you're violent, I think you're violent and no label changes it.

I don't know how you separate those things. Who am I without my neurology? The idea doesn't mean anything to me.

I don't think there is some ideal non-autisitic person who could emerge if only there was a cure.

I am the sum of my experiences and responses over many years. There is no essence other than that.

If I discover that I am behaving like a jerk, I try to correct that. It doesn't matter to the people I am interacting with what the cause of my bad behavior is. If an ASD trait is part of it, that just means I need to be smart about trying to work around that so I can mitigate the problem--it excuses nothing.

<--- Very judgmental and he needs to cut that out.

Of course I can judge others on the spectrum. There are a number of people at WP I judge quite negatively. But I am trying very hard not to engage with them at all, and not to call them out, unless to defend someone else.

We all have judgments of each other. There are some autistic behaviors I find quite hard to be around - because of my own sensory issues. Online, there are the self-pitying types who will not take action to improve their situation. There are those who are like rat terriers attacking an opinion they don't agree with. There are those who have identified me as the devil incarnate. I just ignore these people as much as I can.

I can do this, I can tell whether the person in question (Who thinks their autistic is autistic). Especially when they ask me.

Good responses, so far.

Thoughtful...