Afraid to express your feelings/emotions?

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LupaLuna
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10 Feb 2016, 6:12 pm

I know that having AS makes it next to impossible to express your feeling through body language. But I've look back on my childhood and I've got to ask the question. Was I more afraid to express my feelings then I was psychically unable to(If I was unable to in the first place.). The reason I'm asking is, is that I've seem to have developed this protective barrier around my felling and emotions. And the reason is because I remember always being ridicule and embarrassed anytime I'd try to do so. When ever the teacher at school would give me an assignment that involved me having to express my feelings. If I couldn't come up with a way of faking it. I would do any thing in my power to avoid having to do it irregardless the consequences I would face. For me, expressing my feelings was far more painful then any of the punishments I had to face at school.

Any one else have this experience?



AsahiPto17
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10 Feb 2016, 6:37 pm

Sometimes I'm afraid to express my feelings, especially if I think it could cause a lot of friction. Though I can't exactly hide the way I feel either and if something is wrong people usually realize. That's different from sitting down and talking about things though. I think another thing is that it just kind of feels weird/awkward to talk about something that really bothers you or if you want to say something that is outside of you're comfort zone for what you express.



nurseangela
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10 Feb 2016, 8:03 pm

I have a problem showing any "mushy" feelings even though I'm a girl. My family has never shown any of those kind of feelings. I don't like crying in public either.


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10 Feb 2016, 8:33 pm

Generally alexithymic, so I don't know if it's fear as fear is a feeling too and I may not interpret that correctly, but definitely an inability. This sort of thing is an unclear subject for me. I have looked back on past circumstances recently and thought "I must have been miserable." But at the time, I can't recall feeling anything particularly or being aware of misery, just getting on with one task after another.
This is why counselling is damn near impossible. They expect you to clearly understand all these emotion things and just tell people all about it. I will usually communicate in ideas, or just recounting of facts. I think something, not feel it. Maybe it's all mixed up together I don't know - and maybe that's what alexithymia does, make you blind to the distinctions. You can express what you don't understand.


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Ishi2
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10 Feb 2016, 8:42 pm

There's a saying I heard one time" Don't tell anyone your problems. 80% don't care and 20% are glad ya got 'em." I remember that for both my problems and emotions. I've got hiding my emotions down to an art. Besides, if you let someone know how you're feeling, at least in my experience, they'll use it against you later.


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10 Feb 2016, 9:05 pm

I feel like this is a complicated topic....
I think I express opinions/emotions that I am okay with 99.9% of people in a room knowing simply because I don't trust people when I talk to them generally (if they are strangers or we don't know each other well yet). I treat my opinions on things like I do my emotions.

I have trouble identifying what I am feeling, and I find that I go numb a lot or disconnect myself from my feelings often, but I can come to a great deal of emotional insight by examining and cross-examining my reactions and motivations and physiological reactions to things after immense time. I find that I am able to extract quite a lot, but this takes LOTS of time (sometimes years or decades really occasional just a week or couple of days if I'm lucky a few hours of introspection!!).

I don't generally express how I feel about things though. I kind of dislike it.
I get manipulated by people waaaaaaay too easily so I figure why give them more fuel? So, generally I just keep my trap shut.
I wouldn't say persay though that I am "afraid" of expressing them.



DogwoodTree
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10 Feb 2016, 11:38 pm

Unfortunate_Aspie_ wrote:
I have trouble identifying what I am feeling, and I find that I go numb a lot or disconnect myself from my feelings often, but I can come to a great deal of emotional insight by examining and cross-examining my reactions and motivations and physiological reactions to things after immense time. I find that I am able to extract quite a lot, but this takes LOTS of time (sometimes years or decades really occasional just a week or couple of days if I'm lucky a few hours of introspection!!).

I get manipulated by people waaaaaaay too easily so I figure why give them more fuel? So, generally I just keep my trap shut.


This is accurate for me as well. Since I was about 15 (nearly 30 years ago), I've only managed to cry in front of people maybe half a dozen times. Seems like my emotions are always out of sync with the rest of the world.


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11 Feb 2016, 10:35 pm

When I was young and feeling bad, physically or emotionally, I just sat there and suffered. It did not even occur to me to do something about it or tell someone about it. Whether I had to use the bathroom, or I felt sick, or I was confused, or I had a nightmare, I never thought to ask the teacher to be excused, ask my parents for medicine, ask the teacher for explanation, or... hmm... No, I still do not know what normal kids do when they have a nightmare.


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nicbrown
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12 Feb 2016, 8:28 am

I have problems expressing my feelings because I sometimes don't know how to do it. The thought of being misunderstood terrifies me greatly. So I'd rather keep it to myself.


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Joe90
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12 Feb 2016, 9:11 am

I've never had trouble with expressing my feelings. Sometimes I avoid expressing my feelings (verbally or non-verbally) if I know it might offend someone in some way, or make me look really silly. But in general I do express my feelings. I feel I have to express my feelings, because it makes me feel better afterwards.

Where I come from crying in public is deemed socially unacceptable, unless there's a really obvious reason as to why you might be crying (like if a person has collapsed in front of you, people will be empathetic). But otherwise, if you cry in public, people give you funny looks or even laugh at you. I've known people to be afraid of crying in public for that reason. It's horrible really, because why should you feel like you're ''not allowed'' to cry in public?

When I last had a panic attack (which was about 2 weeks ago), I was in a really busy city on a Saturday afternoon, and I suddenly became agoraphobic, to the point where I wanted to be teleported home, but because I knew that being teleported is impossible, I got into a panic. I had to tell someone, so I took myself down a little quiet street and phoned my mum, and started crying and shaking. I told her how I felt, that I was having a panic attack, and I told her that I just needed to tell someone close how I was feeling. After a little chat I calmed down and patiently waited for the bus to come. When I tell people my feelings I don't want them to do anything, I just need empathy. A little bit of empathy goes a long way when I'm in a panic, and as soon as I have expressed my feelings to someone, I feel a lot better. Same goes for others too; I'm useless at giving advice or doing anything, but, like myself, a lot of women just like a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, and I can offer empathy.

I'm so weird for an Aspie, aren't I?


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12 Feb 2016, 1:38 pm

I have a life long experience of people interpreting me incorrectly. As a result, I don't express myself very often.


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Jamieohs
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12 Feb 2016, 1:56 pm

I choose not to express my feelings or emotions, I just prefer people to think that everything's going fine, its easier to tell people I'm fine rather than explain all the problems I'm having.


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