Help! I need advise on a family member I don't like

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My second cousin has been staying with my brother at my brother's apartment apartment for about 1 year. I don't like him very much. He doesn't agree with LGBT people ideals, I guess he's kinda transphobic and my mom's says he's kinda racist. He is very old fashioned. And he keeps having his mail come to my mom's house (I'm 36 and I live at my mom's house) and when ever it comes I get confused and think it's for me and but it's actually for him. I hate his bigoted, annoying mind. I don't hate him, just his ideals and I just want to scream at him. My brother tell me to give my cousin a break because he's been through some stuff. What should I do?

Welcome to WP Cakebutter
I would be civil to him but basically keep my distance. You won't be able to change him or his beliefs anytime soon. It is really good that you don't hate him and only hate what he believes about some things. That is a great quality. Many people cannot separate the sin from the sinner and love the person and hate the sin. But it is great that you can. But you have to protect yourself emotionally as well. If being around him causes you to struggle emotionally, you have to keep you emotional distance. You don't have to be mean to him, just don't engage with him anymore than you have to. Your mom sounds like she is a person who cannot separate issues. Just because he has been through tough stuff does not give him the right to be bigoted. We all go through tough stuff but that is never an excuse to have any kind of racist or sexist attitudes.

Damn IDK, I have a family member I actually hate and probably wouldn't be sad if he died.

He is a cousin, but it seems like he has no redeeming qualities he is racist, homophobic completely objectifies and disrespects women and he's murdered pets. He shot my dads dog, claimed it bit him, if it did its probably because he tried to be rough with it. Also there was a cat my dad was fond of that disappeared, me and him kind of worry he might have killed that cat as well. He's just not a nice person at all and I want nothing to do with that.

The best I can do is just not have contact with him. Seems maybe your family member is not quite so bad, but might be best to just try and keep a distance till he's out...or till you can move out I suppose if he stays that long.

Talk to him if both of you want to discuss your differences. If not, don't interact with him.

Look at letters carefully before you open them or let someone else sort the mail.