At 55 is it with getting an official dx?

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I have been researching autism because my 13 yo daughter's physiologist said she is HFA. I have thought so for a long time but her school said no so I believed them. Shame on me.

Anyway in my researching, I figured out that I am an Aspie. I took some online tests and scored very high. 45 out of 50 on one and 185 out of 200 on another. My childhood fits and so does my adulthood. I don't do well with most people, they don't like me for long. I don't care about that much. I wouldn't care at all if I didn't have a family but I want more people to like me because it would be better for my husband and my daughter. I sound heartless but really I'm not. I just like to be alone because I don't make myself anxious and people make me anxious.

We had some friends over for a BBQ tonight and their 22 yo son is level 3 autistic. He and I were outside. He speaks but doesn't converse and he kept saying, "You're stimming." I thought it was just echolia. But I've been thinking about it and I think I was probably moving my fingers.

Holy crap, I've done this stuff all my life. I sucked my thumb until I was 11 years old. I roll my ankle around and around-if I do it right it cracks each time. When I'm really upset I pace. And I do this thing with my fingers I had never really noticed before. It must be a calming thing.

So, back to my question. I now know this thing about me. It's mind blowing. I'm 55 years old. I feel like if I were to get diagnosed and tell anybody they'd think I was just trying to make an excuse for being an ass. So many times I have managed to say the wrong thing that most people I know don't like me anyway.

So would it be of any value to be diagnosed? I think I'm too old to learn to not say the stupid things that pop into my head at this point if I haven't yet just because I know why I do it.

It is very common for parents while reading about Autistic traits after thier kid is diagnosed to come to the realization that they are also reading about themselves.

Some people need professional diagnosis for validation of thier suspicions. I got diagnosed at age 55 and it gave a new explanation for why things happened in my life the way they did. It was very powerful and made me feel better about myself.

Getting diagnosed in my 50's helped me a lot too

Of course, it is worth getting a diagnosis; especially if you are older. There is scant research about autistic people over, say, 35 years of age. We need to populate future research if we expect better diagnostic and treatment care. I was 51 years of age when I was screened, and 53 years of age when I was diagnosed. There isn't a single support group in my state that isn't exclusively for children or their parents. Most clinicians understand that autistic older people exist, but can't usually describe a single difference between autistic children and older adults.

So, I say "do it!"

The only person who can really answer that question is you. How would a diagnosis benefit you?
I was only diagnosed recently at age 30. I don't need any assistance or help or government support or any kind. I'm married, I earn a decent living and I am happy for the most part.
For me, getting a diagnosis was just about understanding myself better and validating my suspicions, it doesn't sound like much of a reason, but my self-esteem and general psychological well-being have benefited as a result. So to me it's all the reason I needed.

The answer depends on what you want and need. The piece of paper is needed to get benefits or accommodations, if you need them. Otherwise, since there's no "cure" for AS, the only thing a dx will do is to validate your sense of what's going on.

Some people find an expert opinion validating, but at this age I really don't see the need. It fits perfectly throughout history, I can see what's going on, I don't need a doc in a white coat to put a ribbon on it. I'm glad to be part of the community and get value from learning how people deal with symptoms and outcomes.

Some people here are a little snarky about not getting a dx, so the piece of paper will waive their snarky words. That's happening less now I think. I'm fairly anti-authoritarian, and have been around enough to see names of things change a lot, so that colors my sense of the value of this expert sheaf of papers.

The other reason I don't go there is because of the risk. Once you have a dx on your medical record, it really can't be removed, and you don't know what's coming down the line to look at that record. There could be insurance regulations that ding you, or government restrictions that will take rights away from you. Now I can fill out a form that says I've never been diagnosed with (list of issues) honestly. That estimation of risk is up to you.

The only reason that I'd go there might be to be involved in an interesting research project, especially if I could get a brain scan. That would be cool, and may overweigh the risk. Some researchers have started talking about not using an autistic dx as a criteria, because it is so very broad, and instead focusing on symptoms, like light sensitivity or social anxiety or the like.

Hope you find what you want!