Being different-chronic or acute

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08 May 2017, 11:58 pm

Suppose someone was different from their peers growing up and into young adulthood. They were more a less a misfit and missed out on the typical coming of age things: dating, girlfriends/boyfriends, popularity (or at least not being bullied), athletic success, high school fast food job, you get the idea.

By middle adulthood they now have all of the typical things that other adults do: job, marriage, house, children, 2 cars, etc. From the outside they no longer look different. Now, are they still different because they didn't have those early experience that most people did, and the memories associated with them?

arielhawksquill
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09 May 2017, 9:19 am

Everybody is different in some way. But not everybody thinks about it all the time. Your rumination on the past is what makes you continue to be different.

pasty
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09 May 2017, 9:30 am

That person is still different. Putting a Harry Potter cover on another book doesn't make it a Harry Potter book. It just makes it look like one.

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09 May 2017, 10:03 am

pasty wrote:

That person is still different. Putting a Harry Potter cover on another book doesn't make it a Harry Potter book. It just makes it look like one.

EXCELLENT response!!

In regard to the OP: Thinking that you're asking if the side-effects of Autism (ie, bad Executive Functioning, being weird, etc.) are chronic or acute, I feel they are CHRONIC. Lots of us here have achieved what you describe (marriage, kids, cars, house, full-time job), that doesn't mean we stopped being Autistic----it just means we were able to accomplish those things IN SPITE OF our Autism.

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ProfessorJohn
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09 May 2017, 10:29 am

Thanks for the replies so far. I will say, though, that I think I am less weird than I used to be, or maybe I just learned how to interact with people better and come across as less weird than before.

Is rumination a symptom of Asperger's?

ProfessorJohn
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09 May 2017, 11:41 am

arielhawksquill wrote:

Everybody is different in some way.

Everyone is slightly unique, but most people are not outside the norm.

arielhawksquill
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09 May 2017, 3:31 pm

Yes, rumination is a fairly common trait. Type "rumination" and "aspergers" into Google Search and you'll find lots and lots of hits.

ProfessorJohn
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09 May 2017, 9:58 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:

Lots of us here have achieved what you describe (marriage, kids, cars, house, full-time job), that doesn't mean we stopped being Autistic----it just means we were able to accomplish those things IN SPITE OF our Autism.[/b][/color]

But would that mean that someone is less different than before?

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10 May 2017, 10:53 am

ProfessorJohn wrote:

Campin_Cat wrote:

But would that mean that someone is less different than before?

Maybe, maybe NOT. I certainly think we can learn social conventions, for instance; so, it seems like one could be thought-of as "less different" (or, seen to be, or whatever)----but, that doesn't mean we won't still struggle with it, and it wouldn't mean we weren't still "off" in other things.

Some of us can learn some things, and become fairly good at them (to the point of being, pretty much, natural)----and then, I'm thinking they would truly be "less different" in that ONE regard (socially); but, of course, still struggle, terribly, with other "side effects" of Autism (ie, Executive Function).

ProfessorJohn
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10 May 2017, 6:47 pm

I can see what you mean. At least I "look" less different than before to outsiders. And I suppose I feel less different in that I have met more social norms than I did before.

hjgyllstrom
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10 May 2017, 6:57 pm

Hello John,

Thanks for taking the time to make this group post.

I am a person with Aspergers Autism and my life is quiet self centered around my life. Though I have a hard time to meet people alone. It's like I see many beautiful women working in restaurants though sometimes I wish I could ask them for dates and stuff. But I would feel awkward to do such things. Plus I live alone, have no internet and dont know anyone. So I got this help from my psychologist who lent me the card to this website and had my father sign me up.

Over all, I like playing games on PS3 on my own time and it seems to be redundant. I do worry that I wont be able to get into a friendship relationship. I'd like to ask for some talk time to meet new people and make new friends as well.

H

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