Reactive to trouble

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I get in trouble with my mom a lot. It's mostly small stuff like why I didn't check on and take out the trash and usually doesn't get bigger then that, unless she takes offense to some of my jokes, which I thought she would find funny or be a little amused. But those small things can turn into big things either cause I don't understand or because I react to her getting upset and want to defend myself.

When I see her getting upset with my sister I am usually calm and can see the mistakes my sister is making but when it happens to me I don't see them. When I can feel her getting upset I feel the need to tell her things like how I felt, what I did do, said or what I meant. Most if not all of it is seen as excuses in my mothers eyes or attempts to make her look stupid. Like last night I put on my shoes to go take care of something she gave me to do, I went to go walk outside with the object in hand she gave me when she asked me why I was walking around the house with my shoes on. I told I was going to take care of what she told me to do, she got upset.

Just to let you know my mother, sister and I weren't and aren't raised in a safe environment. This has a lot to do with the way things are dealt with in our house.

But putting that all aside for now, is there anyway for me to control the way I react towards stress and upset that is point at me?

Mothers are like that. I wish they weren't.

I guess your mother doesn't want you to get your shoes dirty. In this case, make sure you put on your sneakers when you go out to take out the trash.

One day, when you're both in a good mood, why don't you propose that you talk about how you can improve as a person. In this discussion bring up the fact that you're not making excuses--that you really don't know what you are doing wrong.

Just a little confused. But I did put my shoes on when I went to take out the trash. You see sometimes I don't take my shoes off when I am in the house or I don't take them off right after I come in the house. And I do sometimes know what I did wrong I just try to lessen the wrong with the things I did right or didn't fully understand.

Edit: I think I understand what you meant about my shoes now. I don't have any sneaker, I only have one pair of shoes, but I do have sandals.