Do I have Aspegers?

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I'm pretty sure I have aspergers and social anxiety because of the aspergers. And if not then I just have social anxiety. So I would always cry hysterically when my parents took me to preschool. After they left me though I would have fun playing with other kids. In kindergarten I had two friends both named cj and had no problem talking to new kids. I was bullied though and when kids bothered me instead of fighting back I just cried. cj h moved after kindergarten and cj b stopped talking to me because he didn't like that I cried all the time. Oh I completely forgot I had an obsession with thomas the tank engine which is a huge asperger trait. So I was kind of afraid kids after kindergarten, not many kids liked me that much. Now comes middle school. I wanted to make friends but I was still nervous. I remember one time in 6th grade a friend named miranda tried introducing me to her new friend nicole. I was so nervous I said hi in the most awkward voice ever. I completely embarrassed myself. I did make a few friends but throughout middleschool I had even more embarrasing times and was bullied and this eventually resulted in me thinking I was lesser than everyone. Inferiority complex. Before I get into highschool I want to mention the tennis camp I went to. During this camp A girl from my school named victoria was ALWAYS talking to me. Whenever she tried conversating with me I would give weak comments and questions. I could tell she was trying to be friends with me and that she eventually had a crush on me but I was still nervous. I wasn't confident in my ability to conversate. I still don't know if this is because of social anxiety or aspergers. Also I would like to mention I have never had problems picking up social cues and facial expressions or body language and non verbal cues. Same with being able to tell if someone is being sarcastic or has different intentions than what they're trying to get across. So high school. I still was socially awkward and afraid 9th and 10th but just starting in the begining of 11th it started to go away(I am in 11th right now). I can have somewhat good conversations. I don't know if my mediocore conversation skills is because of aspergers or because I spent my whole life so far playing video game(which I've recently stopped and picked up new hobbies) so I don't have any interesting conversations. Sometimes in school when I meet a new person I shy and then start to warm up and get comfortable with them and then sometimes I don't even need to warm up to them I automatically can make friends with them. I'ts not that hard to make friends for me anymore. Also I don't have a stimmer. Also I always had trouble making eye contact but now I don't and never had sensory issues. But then there is my dad and sister. They are like me, they have shown signs of aspergers but then have traits of a NT. My dad was always quiet. He never liked socializing so he came off as rude. But when he was interested he had zero problems socializing. He also never had problems making friends. EVERYONE likes him. If he wants someone to like him he'll have no problem making them like him. Then my sister. When she was really young like kindergarten she liked no one. She always had this resting b***h face. When other little girls came up to talk to her she would look at them for a few seconds and then just walk away. But then in like 3rd or 4th grade and ever since she has been the most social girl ever. She can talk with others for hours. The only problem though is she can never realize if someone doesn't secretly like her until its too late. She also has very bad emotional problems. In 7th grade her friends left her and she became suicidal. It got so bad she had to be taken out of school all of 8th grade. I get the impression that my sister keeps her sanity based off of having friends. Think she'd go crazy if people stopped liking her. Not sure if that's an asperger trait or not though. So what do you guys think. Oh also I used to have that obsession fixation problem but I don't think I have it anymore

Some N/T people are late bloomers, shy, awkward etc.
Some N/D learn coping mechanisms and learn to get a bit better at some things

Do you have Aspergers ? I can't answer that.

People here can say if they have similar traits, but no one can diagnose you.

Try reading more literature and blogs and see what resonated within yourself,
and if your still asking the same question, then try discussing it with family and close friends.

If you still feel bothered then consider getting a formal diagnosis so that you would know either way,
but always weigh up the pros and cons of finding out also.

I am not sure if this is any help, but I hope it makes some sense.

Hope you find the answers that your looking for.

There isn't a whole lot of solid evidence here. You don't have any form Sensory processing Difficulties do you? Hypersensitivity or Hyposensitivity? A need for Routines? Rituals?

OH Yeah, and this:
"problems picking up social cues and facial expressions or body language and non verbal cues."

How do you know???? I see people say this all the time and it confuses me! I didn't even know Body Language existed until i was 13 when my dad told me about it ( i heard it in songs and stuff but i thought it was a form of Sign Language LOL) How do you KNOW if you pick up on it or not???

Take an online test itll be fun http://aspergersquiz.com/

From what you wrote, I really don't see any indications of Aspergers and a fair amount that you are NT. The way you describe the situations has far more of a neurotypical feeling to me. You seem like you are very socially oriented (an NT trait), which is what is making you self conscious when you feel you are being awkward.

It's always possible you have some other neurological difference besides autism that could be making things more difficult, but I doubt it's autism/aspergers.

I concur with Juggernaut, nothing you wrote particularly stands out to me as AS, or even social anxiety if I'm honest. Most people are a little anxious meeting new people from time to time, but those with social anxiety are always anxious about it, and feel anxious just at the prospect of having to meet new people, or even just be in a crowd or do simple things like talking to a store clerk or ordering food. Their fear prevents them from functioning normally, and can have a considerable impact on their life.

The lack of obsessive interests and stimming is an indicator to me that you don't really have the "restricted/repetitive behaviours" aspect necessary for an autism diagnosis. How do you feel about sudden or unexpected changes in routine or plans? Does it upset you to the point that you have trouble adjusting to the new plan, or get very angry or scared? Do you ever get physically agitated or aggressive, towards yourself or others, as a result of the anger or fear?

No difficulty picking up on nonverbals or social cues, and being able to identify that a girl had a crush on you also signal to me that you don't have the social deficits necessary to meet autism criteria either. When I try to converse with people for example, I never look them in the eye while I'm speaking, not even close people like family members. People will say things all the time that confuse me and cause me to lose the thread of a conversation, at which point I panic a little because it feels like I'm drowning in nonsensical communication, but I have to pretend like I'm still present and know what's going on. I have to ask people to explain their facial expressions to me all the time, because I can only reliably pick up the basic or obvious ones; everything else is too subtle for me to understand. "Poor social skills" as it pertains to autism, is very different than being a little shy and socially awkward.

It's also very rare for an autistic to have absolutely no sensory problems at all. Some people have them more mildly, or only have one or two senses that are affected, but I have yet to hear of an autistic who has no problem with sensory input at all.

From reading your post, it's my opinion that you're a regular kid who's kind of shy, and maybe a little introverted, but you don't strike me as someone with autism or social anxiety. I can't know for sure though, so if it's really important to you, I'd see what you can do about bringing the idea up to your parents and finding someone to diagnose you. Good luck!

Three items stand out:

1) No one on this website is qualified to tell you if you have Asperger's Syndrome or not.

2) Your "symptoms" could be the results of conditions other than Asperger's Syndrome.

3) You would be better off to consult an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional.

Thanks for all your input guys. Bi I would like to add a few things that I do that seem like aspergers traits. When I was really little I only wanted to play the things I wanted to play when with friends. I would sometimes say to myself let me just play this with them even though I wasn't interested because I understood they wouldn't want to be friends with me if we never did what they wanted. Also only up until like a couple years ago I had no idea how to make friends. I had no idea how to start conversation or anything. Also I heard this is common in aspergers, to not message or call friends or family because you don't see it necessary to have communication in a relationship. Like an example would be if you're gf went on vacation you wouldn't text or call saying how much you miss them. I don't know if I have this because I have very few friends like that and never had a gf. My parents have gone to places and I never called or texted. I don't know if it's because I have aspergers or I don't miss them because I see it as a break from them. I'm scared that when I leave for college I won't call my parents and won't care. I have had some little convos with friends that moved to see how their life is going but thats about it. There is one friend that moved that I text often actually. Also I don't know if I'm good with communicating with emotions. I mean I can tell if someone is feeling some way but not sure if I can talk to them about it in like a personal way. Like last week a kind of friend had his head buried all class and was quiet. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing was wrong but u could tell by his voice there was. At that point I didn't know what to do to maybe like comfort him. Basically what I'm saying is I don't know how to communicate when it comes to emotion, I just feel awkward when talking about them with people. So what do you guys think?

The issues you've had - struggles with communication, not staying in touch with people, and the interactions you had as a very young child when playing with friends - all of these as you described them, are things that practically everyone goes through.

Growing up, for everyone, involves learning and practicing social and relationship skills. Some people have more of a knack for them, but everybody has to learn, practice, and usually struggle with them.

Not contacting your parents when they're gone? You're a teenager. Teens naturally want distance from their parents.

Discomfort in consoling your friend? That can be a struggle for anybody. But you seemed very in tune with picking up his emotional state. In fact, you seem very adept at reading people, based on everything you've written. You just are trying to figure out how to navigate the emotional world, and it's difficult for you and sometimes you are awkward...That's the human experience.

Playing only with the things you wanted when you were a young child? That's how little kids usually are. But what stands out is that you said you realized you couldn't do that because they wouldn't want to be your friends - that shows an intuitive awareness of other people emotional states, and proper social behavior.

Everybody has awkward moments, struggles with expressing and responding to emotion, and most people have struggles making friends at different periods in their life. None of these, as you described them, are signs of Aspergers.

Your description of your ability to determine that your friends wouldn't want to play with you if you did things all your own way, is a concept called theory of mind; the ability that neurotypical children develop at around age four which allows them to understand that others have different points of view from their own. Autistic children and adults struggle with this; we sometimes forget that others don't know what we know, or we assume they know what we're thinking or feeling even if we haven't told them. Look up the Sally-Anne test, it'll describe the concept for you. Your development of theory of mind at the age of four is a strong indicator that you don't have autism.

This isn't my question. Whoops.