Do you have meltdowns?How bad?

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My meltdowns,espicaly prior to diagnosis, were right inline with zombiebride's meltdowns. Thru help with my therapist and the woman I am in a relationship with not enabling me like she was, those massive meltdowns are very rare now. But they were scary before, both for her and me.

I would count that as a crime, by technicality.

What I mean by crime is simply I technically committed verbal assault and, I'm not sure how the laws may differ where you are, but yelling and cursing someone off loudly would count here, especially since in Australia a male yelling towards a woman is much worse.

And yeah, in a hotel lobby you could have risked arrest, or being taken away by security or rooms cancelled, etc.

My meltdown happened at a shopping centre/restaurant just off the highway on the way back from a fun day out at the amusement park. Fun other than my step-dad constantly being on my back, of course.

At least I'm not alone. And I didn't do anything to my property, just yelled at Mum then my sat down next to me step-dad and told him off for how he was speaking to me before. And then Mum came to me and had to talk to (in a more quiet and calm voice) tell me off.

Anyway, what's saddest of all is, it appears most of everyone's meltdowns here are caused by the very last people that should - friends and family.

Teachers, bullies, fellow students/co-workers, or random strangers might make sense, but to me, family/friends doesn't.

Just goes to show how non-understanding some of our familie's can be sometimes.

I think, if it was people who aren't our friends or family that would almost always cause our meltdowns, we would all better overcome our violent meltdowns or take it out on others and instead learn to have self-inflicting meltdowns or leaving the area, as once responsibility catches up to us we'd learn better self-control.

In short, if it was just teachers, bullies and co-workers and such, once we become 18 and get more severe charges for committing a potential crime, we'd have learnt self-control, as these are the people more likely to report us and get us into trouble with the law than family/friends.

Just my thoughts...

At this present, I could only go as far as the 3rd option.
Most at the time, I can feel when there's something building up. Which I have to pinpoint and know the reason why before I get to get overwhelmed by it.
Rare times a few slips past through it, which it could only pass off as frustration, but almost all of it never made it to a fullblown meltdown.

It takes a lot of wisdom and patience to control it without feeling repressed or end up being frustrated.
But all the same ended up with me relying on body language than speech when my mind is busy possessing myself.


If I'm going to talk about my childhood and teenage years, it's a different story.

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Before I went on antidepressants my meltdowns were:
-shouting and swearing
-excessive crying
-verbal abuse at family
-arguing
-hitting my head and face
-slamming and kicking doors

Since I've been taking meds the rage meltdowns have calmed down, although I still get panic attacks that are:
-excessive crying
-irregular breathing
-chest pains
-feeling cold and tired
-headache

Panic attacks aren't nearly as bad as rage meltdowns I used to get. During panic attacks I don't hit myself, swear, yell abuse, kick or slam doors, shout or argue.

You talked about your mother. I can relate. My mother and stepfather were always on my ass about telling the truth. Then if I was with my mother, she would buy things, hide them and tell me not to say anything. Then my stepfather would do the same thing to me.

But, to do what they requested, would be a lie. To do as they requested would mean lying to them each, individually. And, I would get my ass torn up if caught doing what they asked, either way. I mean black and blue marks from above the knee to just above the small of my back. Things that were legal in the '60s is considered child abuse. What my step father did was child abuse by even the standards of the '60s and '70s.

I cannot reconcile lies.

Outside, my meltdowns happen when overloaded and can't escape the stimuli. Too much coming over time and at any given time it just hits the point that I can't make sense of things, I just explode.

What's funny is this: The loud and foul language and stuff is just bluster to let it all out. The time to worry is when I get quiet. When I'm in that quiet space and angry, that's when the real crap is about to hit the fan.

Mine fall between the first and third option. (Although the only person who ever gets hurt is me and since I've never actually broken any bones or required stitches, I would not, personally, call them "dangerous".....I hope most others would agree with me on that, but who knows.)

Thankfully they happen less and less often as I get older -- part of this, I think, is just natural development/maturity. The rest is: medication + changes in my environment + support/training to learn prevention and harm reduction strategies + practice/effort.

I call mine dangerous, not for the harm I do to others or myself, but for the fact that they happen at places that can cause alarm and create a much worse situation. Or, can make matters much worse, even after things have calmed down.

Walk off jobs or yell at coworkers, lose income.

You try to visit your daughter, supervised no less, and people think you're a raving lunatic.

You can answer questions quickly because you know your logic, your routine, why you do everything because it's part of my particular make up, memory and recall because of my constant looping of days I live. But, because you can do that, people have always said things like, "Well, you just have an answer for everything don't you."
And, then when you get caught off guard when people go 'off script' you look like a complete idiot and they find a way to flip that on you. Even had both things happen in court, back to back and in both instances, the ability to answer or not answer was met with the same derision.

So, mine have done very, very real damage.

My meltdowns usually involve crying and putting effort into not damaging things.

The thing that gets me is I can't figure the severity on the fly. I can think about it and some time later, I will have realized the insignificance or, significance, of the real situation.

But, it's the loss of consistency and being thrown because things don't add up. At the moment it hits me, it's all the same.

I've got to find a way to curtail what's happening.

My parents are almost always the trigger. They tear into my soul and character until I stop the conversation with my words or start to shutdown and then meltdown. They don’t stop even when I tell them what’s happening.
I’ll run up to my room and self harm. Usually by choking and punching myself. There’s so much emotional distress going on in my body and I need physical pain and exertion to release it. The longer I postpone the screaming, crying, or hurting, the stronger it becomes and longer it lasts. They leave me feeling empty, exhausted, and embarrassed that I just acted like an “out of hand child”. I’ve never had a meltdown in front of someone. I never tell people. I reached out to someone once during and they were quick to end the call as soon as possible. I feel so alone and dramatic during triggered self harm rampages.
It’s so hard living in an environment where no matter how much you communicate, it falls on ears that only see you as a target. Sometimes it’s down right scary having to rely on people who only want to see you fall and be as miserable as they are. How can you say you love someone and hurt them so bad with no remorse, no empathy, no guilt, only endless pride and antics.

Sometimes it’s down right scary having to rely on people who only want to see you fall and be as miserable as they are.


For me, the worst part was having to return to my oppressive house because I was in no condition to support myself. When I flunked out of the prestige college (that nobody thought I could get into, and refused to pay for) and had to drag my tail back to my (basement) room, I think my misery-making family got some satisfaction from that.

All of their undermining played a role in the crippling depression that made finishing impossible.

Thank God those days are long gone, and I'm not thinking about that horrible place all of the time.

I had worse meltdowns before I went on Sertraline. My meltdowns (better known as 'outbursts') involved:-

Screaming
Crying
Swearing
Hitting myself in the face or head
Slamming and kicking doors
Shouting
Arguing

These were typically triggered by:-

A loved one saying the 'wrong' thing to me
Overwhelming emotions such as depression or jealousy
Being triggered if I'm already in a bad mood by someone saying the 'wrong' thing to me
Some change to routine
Self-hatred and low self-esteem issues
Feeling helpless or powerless

Nothing could stop these outbursts once they started. I just had to let it all out and just didn't know what else to do. Afterwards I felt guilty and ashamed for upsetting my family.

Being on Sertraline has helped me be in control of outbursts and learn how to let more things go over my head rather than exploding. Obviously I still have my moments, but I'm still easier to live with than I was before. That is why I'm scared to come off Sertraline. I don't want to start losing control of myself like I used to.