Recent self-diagnosed Asperger's. What do you think?

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This is my first post here, and I'm sure this question is common here, but I'd appreciate any input. I'll try to be as concise as possible.

I have had a lot of struggles my entire life as well as a lot of successes. The highs have been high, and the lows have been low. I have always felt different from other people, especially from jr. high onward. I frequently described myself as an alien, and that's what I felt like, an alien in a world of people I didn't relate to who also didn't relate to me. I was never bullied, I think largely because I was actually good at a lot of different things. I did very well in school, was pretty athletic, and was very successful at distance running. However, I never felt like I fit in, and I also feel like even those I did socialize with mostly tolerated my presence more than enjoyed it. Looking back, I think I had the classic symptom of going on long monologues about my interests without regard to the other person(s), though I've greatly improved my social skills in the last 5 or 6 years. I actually feel like I'm quite good at socializing on a 1-on-1 level now, but I still struggle in groups. Sometimes I've felt like everyone in the group got together beforehand and made a plan for how things were going to go, how discussion was going to flow, etc, and I was the only one who didn't get the memo.

I honestly had never heard of AS prior to 2011, and when I did hear about it and looked it up, it didn't really ring a bell with me because all the descriptions of the condition focused on only the few really big traits and never even mentioned all the little ones or the different ways traits can be expressed, and I don't have some of the big hallmark traits. For example, I understand body language and sarcasm, figures of speech, etc, just as well as a NT. It wasn't until I dug a bit deeper and read Tony Attwood's "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" that it all started to make sense. Though I understand sarcasm and body language, I have all these other traits and things associate with AS:

-sensory sensitivity (I'm blinded by bright light)
-pedantic use of language (used to correct people's grammar a lot and have been told I speak too formally)
-unusual prosody (I've adopted a somewhat monotone to stand out less, but my natural speech is considered very unusual by most people)
-behind peers socially (I always seem to be catching up and realized social faux pas years later than my peers)
-stimming (I have always been a nail biter and pick at my skin. I've gotten better after becoming aware of it though)
-have been told I'm very "direct" and sometimes "brutally honest" though I didn't really mean to be
-lack of emotional reciprocity (I definitely feel emotions but don't "connect with" or "bond" with people very easily)
-am very intense about my interests, though my interests are generally at least somewhat practical
-have intense emotions
-have always scored above the 99th percentile on math tests
-parent has a mood disorder (this is often associated with AS and ASD)
-mother had a problematic pregnancy with lots of complications
-was born about 3 weeks premature
-mother was 34 years of age at the time of my birth
...

I also am an INTJ personality type and scored a 34 on the AQ test where apparently 80% of people diagnosed with some kind of ASD score 32 or higher.

All this has made me near certain I have AS but am a relatively mild case. I'm wary of self-diagnoses though. Obviously visiting a professional would be the only real way to find out for sure, but I wanted to get input from people here first. Since this is all still new to me, I thought some people with more experience could be of help.

Given what I've described, what do you think? Any input is appreciated. Thanks.

Welcome to Wrong Planet

I can only tell what you already know,you have some of the key traits.

Did you understand sarcasm etc when you were young?

While your stims are not uncommon outside the spectrum are you always doing these?, did you do others when younger?

Do you have intense obsessive "special interests" that you like?

The most important question, are these traits an annoyance or are they inhibiting you in your life?

If they are inhibiting you try and seek proffesional help with the purpose of not getting an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis per say but to find out what the situation is so you can help yourself.

It is very important to to know what what you were like very young. Parents and siblings can be helpful in this regard.

A lot of the things you described many of us have gone through so feel free to ask advice.

I think that you would be better off seeking a diagnosis from an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I have to disagree getting a professional diagnosis. What do you need help with? Typically a diagnosis will only be useful if you have trouble holding a job--or are even worse off that you need help with the activities of daily life.
Sounds like you just need help with relationships--which means you are on your own. The money spent getting a diagnosis might be better spent getting coaching on what you might be able to improve upon.

Hey! welcome to Wrong Planet

You did your research

A lot of the information you gave isn't spectrum exclusive traits they are just common in the spectrum but can be explained by other mental disorders or mood disorders.

How was your early Childhood? Did you have friends at all? how did your teachers describe you?

I didn't see any mention of Obsessions, Routines or Rituals, any of those?

Oh wait there it is..

How do you react to change in routine and setting?

Did you have strong interests as a child?

That's what I mean. Initially I was under the impression that the only way to be considered to have AS was to have all those big hallmark traits. But that's not the case at all, even if limiting oneself to the DSM-IV criteria, which is quite narrow and limited. In reading Tony Attwood's "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome," I found that the variability of traits is huge, and that a diagnoses should not be made strictly off of the DSM-IV. I mentioned intense interests, which is another way of saying obsession. I prefer the term "special interest" since it sounds less pathological and is also more accurate. That's the term I see used most often also. I don't have rituals, but I do stick to routines. They're not obvious signs of AS or OCD though since they're not obviously odd. My self-diagnoses came from the complete profile of traits I have as well as thinking back over my life, my experiences, my struggles, and strengths, and my weaknesses.

I had friends as a kid. Our friendships were much more activity-based than conversation-based though. It wasn't until adolescence that things started getting especially difficult socially and I started feeling very alienated. Attwood describes this very scenario in his book and says it's common in cases that aren't severe.

Teacher's mostly liked me because I was a good student. I was/am "gifted," so I liked learning. I apparently talked too much though looking back at the school records I have.

EDIT: Also, perhaps the biggest problem I have in romantic relationships is that the other person feels neglected, like I don't care as much as I should. Part of this is likely due to my avoidant attachment style, but I think a lot of it has to do with my AS. I have been described as an emotional robot at times even though I actually have intense emotions; just not over the same things as most NTs.

I haven't sought a formal diagnoses because I honestly don't want the label. It's been immensely beneficial to me to find this out about myself, but it's still only part of who I am. I don't care to be publicly branded.

It may help to make the relationship a part of routine--making Saturday "relationship" day for instance, in which you focus on your relationship doing stuff together and forget about trying to do anything else.

You definitely have some traits. There's no need for diagnosis if you don't have specific problems that you can't address without it.
At least now you don't need to say to yourself that you have 'avoidant attachment style' like it was something that needs to be cured, you can just say that you need more time on your own and that's ok.

Well, I have avoidant attachment in addition to AS, as well as complex PTSD caused by my family life when I was teenager (early childhood was good). It's taken me 10+ years to figure this all out. It's still a little unclear to me what is causing what because the AS and complex PTSD interact with each other. I know I have both, but the C-PTSD exacerbates many of the AS traits, and part of my problems with the C-PTSD are/were likely influenced by the the AS. It's been a double-whammy for me and has caused me a lot of problems. I think if I didn't have the C-PTSD I'd be at least 10X better off. The AS is mild enough that I see it as a net benefit (even though it certainly causes me problems also).

Thanks for the replies.

Keep in mind with a self diagnoses not everyone with ASD is odd or eccentric, a lot of they're problems come from independent functions, forming solid relationships, dealing with stress and change.

My symptoms were pretty well hidden to the untrained eye but one thing that stuck out the most were the other issues caused by ASD. Because of my ASD i had a lot of Executive Functioning Issues, which affect me in my adult life.

The thing with Psychology is its EXTREMELY varied and sometimes things look like one thing but act a completely different way, here are a list of things that can mimic ASD

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder/ Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
Attenton-Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
Nonverbal Learning Disability
Auditory Processing Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Social Anxiety/phobia
Social Communication Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Sensory Processing Disorder
Dependent Personality Disorder
Early Schizophrenia
Brain Damage
Dyslexia
Dyscaluculia
Being a Introvert
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Child Abuse & neglect
Avoidance Personality Disorder
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Schizoid Personality Disorder
Intellectual Disability
Reactive Attachment Disorder
Developmental Delay
Bipolar Disorder
Giftedness
Executive Functioning Disorder
Childhood Disintegrative Disorder
Tourettes Syndrome
Fragile X Syndrome
Downs Syndrome
Mutism & Selective Mutism

keep in mind a person can have up to 3 or more co-morbid disorders. Many ASD people do for that matter.

I dont know why some people read up on autism and just decide that thats the best fit without looking into other possible causes.

The DSM-IV is now no longer used for diagnosis. You want to be looking at the DSM-V, and seeing if you meet the criteria. The symptoms must be present in early childhood and cause impairments in daily life.

Asperger's was removed as a separate disorder and is now included under autism spectrum disorder.

Yes it is depending on your clinician.
Clinitions will not lose thier licence or be sanctioned if they do not use the latest DSM manual but it is still a good idea to look at the DSM 5 criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Get a real diagnosis; it's the only way you'll ever know for sure, one way or another.

Look at the ICD-10, too. Aspergers still exists there. It's used even in the US at times.