How things are right now..thanks to you guys

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Ok, Some people saw a mini meltdown online about a week back.

I have been working to be proactive. The stress and social anxieties are really crippling right now, but, I am being proactive. So, that is a good sign.

It occurred to me last night that this was now my apartment. Today, I begin to make the new lists. By this I mean that I had a routine before that had been internalized, based on two people here. Now, I must make my new lists, write them down and make them work.

It's been years since I've had to have a written list.

I got a number to call about finding places to get proper meds and got hooked up with a mobile crisis unit that is coming today.

I'm tired of self medicating with pot. I have nothing against pot. For me it's a bit of a wonder drug (if I get the right strain) in that it doesn't get me too high, cuts the edge and I can function quite well.

It did help stimulate the appetite a bit though. That was good as I very rarely eat. I never feel hungry. I do get nauseous though. I finally had to start using suspenders (You can get away with that when you're old like I am) because my belt could not hold up my pants and the clothes literally fall off me now.

I am concerned about that, but so far, nobody can find anything physical. Lost a buncha, buncha weight though.

But, it's uneven. It's not like in areas where you can go to a licensed, knowledgeable apothecary. You have to buy it from someone and you never get the same strain twice. Some will do nothing psychoactively, but will make you clumsy as hell. Others will make you high but, not really cut the anxieties. Inconsistent and you just never know what may have happened along the way. It's also not like where, in NYC for example, medical marijuana is legal, but only as a consumable of some kind. Nothing raw. So, it can be dosed and monitored for effect.

Anyway, they are coming. When talking to me yesterday, the lady was most helpful. But as the conversation went on, I think the mask slipped a bit and she went quickly from giving me locations to go to, to having the mobile unit sent out.

Whatever meds for the sleep is required, that sort of thing. I sleep like crap.

But, I still have a sense of humor about it. I would find it completely ironic if that wound up being the meds they prescribe. That's for then to decide. I am educated on some meds (past experience), many people here helped about this in another thread. But, it would be 'high-larious'.

See what I did there?

But, mostly this thread is to let you guys know how good it is to finally be somewhere that people 'get me'. I have never had a place where I could say the things that happen and people understand. Those things everybody else tells you to just 'get over it' or things along that nature.

Thanks folkses....

Edit: Oh yeah..;the mobile crisis unit is not coming to see me with the nice men in bright white coats with butterfly nets.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fn36l_z3WY <---------reference for the men in white coats and butterfly nets....

also a big cartoon staple.

I hope things continue to improve for you.

I think they will. Being here has been most helpful.

Actually, Kraftie, you're one of the coolest people here. Your posts are always a good read.

Been most helpful.