Criticism-How Do You React?

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I have always been very sensitive to criticism, taking it totally personally, and usually finding I automatically lash out in response to it, or feign disinterest etc...or argue even. How does everyone else here respond to criticism?

crassly

well, feigh on them!

Very defensively!!

Depends on their approach. If they're just being a bully - to the point that it's plain to everyone else with half a brain - I can just write them off. Although I hate it when they try to "demasculinize" me... I've always hated such chest-puffing b.s. As for the other kind of criticism, the more constructive and diplomatic the better... otherwise I get defensive and loudly obstinate.

I'd rather have a dentist rip my teeth out without novocaine while being strung upside down by my toes.

How do I respond to criticism (not to be confused with correction)?

I don't. But then, I don't respond to anything (not by choice). I’d like to respond verbally, personally; I usually have something (too much usually) in my mind to say, but I can’t exhibit it.

I don't respond well to criticism or correction generally. I tend to see correction in the same way that I see criticism.

Do you not speak ?

It completely depends on how I feel about the person

A teacher I just met two weeks ago telling me I'm an idiot when it comes to X subject and approaching everything all wrong, and it doesn't bother me half as much as my mother saying in the nicest way possible that sometimes my table manners aren't that great and it can be something we work on together. I absolutely s**t whenever my mom criticizes me in ANY way, because even though I know, on some intellectual level, that she really just wants the best for me and for people to like me, I can't help feeling like her criticism of me is her telling me what parts of me she doesn't like, and that is INCREDIBLY difficult for me to take. If an aquaintence has criticism, constructive or otherwise, I ignore it and feel huffy on the inside and that person may notice me getting sullen. If my mom criticizes, I go totally apeshit "autistic" and start yelling ("I'm not yelling!") and when I go up to my room I punch myself in the head and generally hurt the relationship between me and my mom. I don't know why I do it. I know my mom thought I would grow out of it and I thought I would too, but I feel the most incredible fury and hatred when people who are close to me criticize me and I know it is HUGELY disproportionate to the criticism but I can't stop

I speak verbally to my mother, sister and some medical professionals I feel comfortable around when I’m in their domain; no one else though. Sometimes I go completely mute to those I trust (which is only my mother, she’s the only person who I am “me” around) when I feel overwhelmed. I guess this equates to speaking.

Written word is another matter completely, obviously.

Mixed. My first reaction is usually pretty bad, but
I keep that inside. Still, I have such low self-esteem
that I usually just agree with the criticism, but don't
manage to help myself with it.

I react poorly, negatively, destructively. I take criticism "wrong" & feel hurt personally. Can be any one or all of these kinds of exaggerated "over-reactions": offensive hostility, defensive justifications, or hostile self-hatred. Verbally lash out with sharp words & cutting hyperbole, things I later wish I hadn't said because I was so upset at the time I couldn't be moderate & measured in my communication. Feigned uncaring coldness & hard-heartedness, then outraged furious anger, which soon dissolves into hours of weeping from sadness.

Quick, someone criticise me! This might be a completely new experience…I’ve got the education of a door mat, I’ve never known anyone except my mother (who I rely on for most things); there’s a lot to criticise there, I know because I’ve been criticised a trillion and one times by people who’ve gone through my mother, never to my face (or monitor), not that I would’ve responded anyway. I felt "nothing" to this covert criticism.

(Fictitious statements need not apply.)

I just think things like that are annoying. There some thing I wouldn't do to others, I generally try not to bother people. But I am a hypocrite and it really is a slap in the face when I do it.

What I hate most about criticism is waiting for them to get to the point then not getting it. Or being totally ignorant anyway. Sometimes I actually want criticism if they know what they are talking about. I someone asked me for criticism and I could help I would.

I think criticism is sometimes the criticiser’s problem.

Depends on the situation, and who's doing the criticising. If it's somebody I have respect for, and they dish out any criticisms in private, then i'm more inclined to accept it in an appropriate way.

If it's anybody other than the couple of people I do have that kind of respect for, then I won't be impressed, and will usually react in something of a hostile (but only ever verbal) way.

Last edited by Mr_Winston on 21 Apr 2007, 5:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

MOST criticism against me is unjustified. If it IS, it is usually something that USED to be OK, or that I am working on. I act accordingly.

Steve

It depends a lot upon my mood at the time. Sometimes I crawl under a rug, so to speak, and just take it. Other times I'll stand up for myself in a pretty dignified way. I'll go to almost any length to avoid a scene, though - I avoid people like that - and if all else fails I'll smile and nod & avoid the person in the future