Not certain what this should be titled.....
Ive been thinking alot lately about well life in general and my condition.
Im 27 years old
I was diagnosed at age 6 with Asperger's and most of my life was ok, but lately (last few years) mentally i have been exhibiting syptoms that I don't like namely:
Holding long conversations about imagineary subjects with people who are not there - past present and future.
saying to myself "Kill yourself" or "Kill all X group of people"
I usually manage to keep this invisable but on a couple of occasions I think my (quiet) outbursts may have been noticed.
Imagineing obliterating offensive people from my past - in various fashions.
I also on a couple of occasions have had frankly ridiculous thoughts like a begger (who i keep giving money to) was Jesus and that a recent friend is a secret agent sent to investigate me for various things.
now balancing all of this is stuff like this:
//urbanprairiewasteland.blogspot.co.uk/2008/11/aspergers-scam_20.html]
Thing is I do indentify with his randian phiosophy and I can't help but think he has a point I mean I produce nothing of value to society.
Maybe I should learn how to program - seeimg as my chance of a Job in stamdard fashion is nill.
anyway its 5 am in the morning and my brain is no longer buzzing so Ill go to bed so as I can do my volunterring reasonably well.
Later.
28 Mar 2016, 11:48 pm
