People thinking you are uninterested and aloof

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Yesterday I was playing a video game with a friend while talking to him over Skype and he was talking to me about something interesting going on in his life. I was interested in what he was saying, but he pointed out that I didn't seem to give a crap. I explained that it was an autism thing and he was quite understanding, it probably helped that he is a neurodiverse person who might be on the spectrum too.

In this case it happened because I was focused on playing the game and I didn't have enough mental resources available to keep up the neurotipical act. I could only focus on what I said and I couldn't focus on voice inflection and expressing emotion, so my voice was monotone and I didn't express any emotion. This made me sound very uninterested and aloof.

Has anyone else had problems with this kind of thing?

Yes.

A previous therapist of mine said I was aloof, cold, distant, conceited and self-absorbed. I agreed with him.

I was born before video games existed.
Yes, I'm old, you young whippersnapper.
And I would consider it very rude
for somebody to be playing a video game
when I'm trying to have a meaningful conversation with them.

We did have TV shows when I was little,
and it was considered just as rude to
laugh or react to something happening on TV
when somebody was talking to you on the phone.
(Phones looked and sounded different way back then, but we had them ... )

The problem seems worse now than when I was younger
because now technology is far more available.

And I think how people with autism are treated is worse now
than it used to be
because NTs, Aspies, whoever ...
are pretty much all buried in social media, Facebook, their smart phone, a video game, etc. etc.

When I visit really small towns out in the country
where it's hard to get Internet or cell phone reception,
I notice people are friendlier.
They are actually more likely
to talk, listen, and be interested.

...

Last edited by the_phoenix on 27 Mar 2016, 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'll be paying 100% attention to what my mom is saying but I tend to just stand there blankly and take the information in. She'll then start screaming at me and calling me self centered and selfish for not acting interested in what she's saying. I'm starting to upset myself so I won't continue but I think you get the idea. I think I have flat affect in some situations, if that's possible.

I am uninterested and aloof. But I try to trick people into thinking I'm fascinated by what they're saying.

I wasn't just playing a game while my friend was trying to talk to me, we were both playing the same game multiplayer on the same server. That's the closest we can get to hanging out because he lives on almost the opposite side of the planet. He was having no trouble playing the game and talking at the same time, but I was having a hard time with it.

The game was Space Engineers if anyone cares.

I was talking to my friend a bit more about this and we made a few agreements about how I could express that I'm interested in what he's saying and that I heard him that is a lot more autism friendly.

It should also be noted that the things he was taking about weren't very serious, we were just casually talking.

Oh, then I apologize mikeman7918,

That's a different story of course, and having an autistic disability when it comes to multitasking can indeed happen under such circumstances as you describe.

And I can be even worse ... I can be unable to keep up with a chat conversation in real time ... even when that's the only thing that's going on and I'm trying to focus on ... because it's going too fast or is getting too emotional. (So you may be more advanced than I am ... )

Kids today. * good-natured, humorous friendly grin *

...

Yeah, I have trouble with that too which is why I have to rely on scripting. I am usually at least able to express emotion and look like I give a crap though.