Is it for a family to "not accept" their ASD child?

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BioLife
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13 Mar 2016, 4:15 am

Do you feel like your parents and/or siblings accepted you? Is this an issue many ASD folks experience?



cyberdad
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13 Mar 2016, 5:24 am

I see this one's not getting any replies...

In my family it's not a question of acceptance/not accept but polite ostracism...they pretend my daughter does not exist or that she's invisible



CockneyRebel
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13 Mar 2016, 6:33 am

My parents still don't accept me to this day. My mum in particular. It really grates on my nerves after a while. I was almost disowned by my mother recently over my Schultz helmet. I go there on Saturday visits to feel accepted my my family, no matter how different I might be from the rest of them at this time. I felt the need to go back to my apartment after dinner three Saturdays ago, as a way of sparing my feelings after my mum hated on the number one special interest that I have at this moment. If my mum wants a lady, she can spend her time with my kid sister and my niece.


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Yigeren
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13 Mar 2016, 6:37 am

My immediate family is also weird. So I don't exactly stand out among them. My extended family basically all think that I'm strange, lazy, and mentally ill. And the one side I'm pretty sure assumes I'm white trash in addition to those things.

I will admit that I am strange. But I'm not trashy, lazy, nor mentally ill.



kraftiekortie
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13 Mar 2016, 7:24 am

I am halfway accepted by my family.

My brother doesn't really accept me. He assumes I'm some ret*d.



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13 Mar 2016, 7:33 am

Nah, I have a pretty broken relationship with my family because of it, and at times it suckes, especially when I read about how they were "supposed" to deal the whole thing. But they are pretty sad people with a lot of issues, so I don't think it will change any time soon, and I moved on to focus more on those people that actually show me love and support one way or the other.



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13 Mar 2016, 8:50 am

My mother's side of my family completely told the doctors, they we're wrong lol. Even, about my brother which was more obviously Autistic. My Sister only Partially thinks it, for she thinks, "I Blame my Autism for not wanting to go to the park."


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13 Mar 2016, 10:20 am

No my mum has never accepted the fact that I have Asperger syndrome. She favours the allistic members of the family much more than I ever was.



lostonearth35
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13 Mar 2016, 10:24 am

My parents not only accept me, they were actually happy and relieved to hear my diagnosis because I was going through a horrible time and was hospitalized. Only I wasn't a child, like many if not most female aspies I was an adult when I was diagnosed.



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13 Mar 2016, 10:30 am

My parents are supportive when it suits them. The rest of my family don't even seem to talk about it much beyond the occasional facebook like to a post I've made on the subject. Honestly, the A word (both of them - Autism and Asperger's) is rarely used by anyone except me, though the last time I spoke of it was to stop my 10 year old sister copying my stims and finding it funny.

Honestly, I don't really think anyone cares about it. The only difference it's made in my family life is I've stopped being pushed to do the impossible and stopped being called lazy for my anxieties and social issues.


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13 Mar 2016, 10:42 am

My family life has always been a bit rocky but you need the whole story before we jump to conclusions on rather autism caused it. A story that I am not getting into but I'll say there is no relationship with my brother and my parents tolerate me. I think they accept me but they don't understand me, my dad thinks I am idiot cause I am autistic. At least I suspect it based on his comments and since he treats me like a child, not literally but I'll give an example. Both my mom and dad are against me learning to drive and I am freaking 26, I saving up for a car now and they freaked out and said autistic people shouldn't drive.

LOL wat?

Anyway, so yeah I just kinda show my independence even though they seem to think I shouldn't have any. I don't even live in their house and am only dependent on them once or twice a month. I think we are over acceptance but they are kinda on the other extreme now, maybe in accepting things that aren't necessarily true. I am not where I want to be a 26 but I just need a little more time to iron out some details.



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13 Mar 2016, 10:55 am

I am in a different boat. My parents have seen me struggle all my life. Have strange successes that nobody thought I would have, but flounder around on the most basic things they take for granted.

They seem relieved to know that it:
1.) wasn't their fault that I failed at so many things
2.) they did the best they could with what they knew
3.) explains virtually everything

I was always the kid who was always in trouble for the 'things I was too smart to do because I knew better." In all actuality, to this day, I run into barriers because I can't take what's been successful (or even know why it was successful) and apply it to new social/personal interactions. Everything that is new, is completely new. Until I run into a faux pas moment and have the situation explained to me, I'm just lost.

Gimme something technical, mechanical or manual, I'm good. Basically, things. But, people are just a complete mystery to me.


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13 Mar 2016, 12:03 pm

Mine have always accepted me and never made me feel different.


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13 Mar 2016, 12:45 pm

I have no idea if my parents accept me, love me, are proud of me, or are ashamed of me, put up with me out of a sense of obligation. They never told me and I do not know how you can find out otherwise.

My sister has been the most vocal about her feelings about me and my autism, but she has also proven to be untrustworthy and unreliable.


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deafghost52
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13 Mar 2016, 1:35 pm

If I'm understanding your question correctly, you would like to know if it's "in the best interest of a family not to accept their child with ASD." It depends upon what society we want to live in.

If we would like to live in a society founded upon integrity, honesty, and altruism, then yes, I would say that acceptance and cultivation of the autistic community is absolutely necessary, for they, more than any other group of people, are capable of embodying these ideals as far as I'm concerned.

Otherwise, if we would like to live in a society founded upon greed, avarice, and self-gratification, then the exact opposite group of people, psychopaths, should receive these things instead.

From what I've seen of society so far (especially recently in the U.S.), the latter is being fulfilled, while the former is being neglected.

I'd also like to add that I've always been pretty well-accepted by my family (probably because most of them don't know that I'm autistic), but not so much by others outside of my family. The only reason I think I've ever had a girlfriend is because she thought she was autistic too (although she was never diagnosed as a child), and so she was a lot more understanding and accepting of it. Most of my friends have been rather weird/nerdy/eccentric like me, although I don't think any of them were necessarily autistic (except for one in college who was "sort of" diagnosed as a kid). But because of what I've been reading and hearing about lately in journal articles and in the news more than my own personal experience, I feel very unaccepted by people in spite of the fact that most people I know personally accept me for who I am.

I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid about what people think about me...


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13 Mar 2016, 1:47 pm

BioLife wrote:
Do you feel like your parents and/or siblings accepted you?
No. It's been over twelve years since any have visited me.

BioLife wrote:
Is this an issue many ASD folks experience?
You'll have to wait for a few more replies; but my impression from reading posts in The Haven is that most people with an ASD experience some kind of rejection from their relatives.