Intense focus day and night

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I am coming to realize that I've always had a very intense focus. This insight comes from re-reading a childhood document from 3rd grade elementary school that remarked upon my "concrete, highly focused thought process" and mentioned that my "cognitive processing" was "uniquely focused and disordered." They mention 2 examples of statements that were typical of me at that time: "My stomach is telling me I'm hungry," and "My mind is telling me to do this." I was said to have a "preoccupation with internal thoughts," which I know has always been the case.

Let me give an example of this focus: If I try going for a run, I will start focusing on the sensations of the pounding on my legs, the pain that reverbrates up the foot through the leg to the part of the pelvis where my legs go up to, every step every step. This is extremely unpleasant and is a big part of why I don't go for a run or exercise generally. But if I am playing a sports game where I'm on a team and I feel like I can make a difference, then I will become absorbed in the game, my focus will turn outward, and even though I'm running fast and hard I do not notice those sensations. Unfortunately, there are not very many things I can become so absorbed in, though I can get really absorbed in the things I do really like.

It seems like I have a very intense gaze or focus, which by default turns inward. I must lure it outward by enticing it with something very appealing or it will turn back inward, examining every thing going on in me (thoughts, feelings, perceptions, sensations), like the Eye of Sauron examining Mordor and the surrounding lands from atop the Dark Tower.

Can anyone else relate?

I could.

If I'm interested in something, it's difficult to be diverted from that interest.

Even at work, I might find myself researching something, rather than doing my work. I'm fortunate that I'm a fast worker, so I could do this research and not get in trouble (but I've been caught a few times!)

One way my thinking becomes highly focused is when I think. Often, I feel like I must explicate my thoughts, that is, I must hear or see them clearly in my mind, or I won't know what I was thinking and it'd like I wasn't thinking at all. Often, a thought is too fleeting, so I must recall it and focus on it to make sure I've thought it.

Sometimes, the thought begins to fade, and I must increase my concentration to prevent losing it.

Have you had these experiences?

I've never been a very good focuser, actually. Only when something is making me really anxious, but that is anxiety-related anticipation.

Otherwise, my attention span is terrible, even with stuff that I enjoy. I love writing, but even then I only write a few sentences of a story, then get completely distracted.

Even at work I don't focus very well. My supervisor is always telling me to focus more.

When I'm listening to my MP4 I often get lost in thought and realize I missed a whole song.

Have you seen the Simpsons episode "Homer At The Bat", when Mr Burns is giving Homer difficult instructions of sign language he will give when Homer does his bat, and Homer's brain tells him that he doesn't understand a word Mr Burns is saying, then his thoughts drift off into thinking of food, then when Mr Burns happily says "got that, Simpson?" and he just says "yes, Sir!" ? That is very similar to what my mind does too.

Indeed.....this sort of thing happens all the time.

I do much better at writing than at speaking. When I speak, I tend to become disorganized and lose focus. And I stutter.

Frequently, I lose my train of thought---it's so frustrating, because sometimes I can come up with some decent ideas (which I forget at crucial times!)

If I had intense, wide-ranging, and coherent focus, I would have been more successful in my life.

As it stands now, I'm too "hyper" to be a really good leader. I've never made it beyond clerical worker, despite my college degree.

My focus can go from
A. Pin point ..to
B. Brain images similar to Data speed reading on the Enterprise.

Switching from work to home may have me
A. Isolating with nap
B. Mowing the lawn
C. Time surfing or reading...
before good stuff with family.

That's how it's like for me too. I probably spend most of my time not being consciously aware of my surroundings and being immersed in my mind while my subconscious takes over motor control. If I don't properly visualize a thought then it doesn't feel real.

Lately I have experimented with shutting down and suppressing all visualization and just working in abstract thought. When doing this I can't easily do the things that I rely on visualization for like memorizing things, recalling things, navigating, doing math, being creative, reading, and a ton of other stuff. I talked to my brother about this and apparently he thinks in that abstract mode the vast majority of the time and he finds it quite hard to visualize things. I think it might be that way for most neurotipicals if I'm not mistaken.