Aspergers conforming

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Can you give me a reason why someone with aspergers would say to another aspie "you need conform"?

"You need to conform"?

Because then you can have a job.

Because it helps you get a job, get along with people, have better respect from others, and have less misunderstandings.

I never met any aspies IRL, but they would say that because they're driven for survival and fear.
They suggests so out of their experiences and concern.


This isn't the case for me.

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I don't see conforming as giving up personal identity or individuality. It can be taken to that extreme. But, I agree that it would help in job hunting and social situations.

I don't know about many people here, but I've always wanted to be a part of society and be able to do the things I see other people do. I don't do it worth a damned though and at my age, I'm just too burned out to try much anymore.

There is no reason

After my diagnosis my counselor told me if I was happy with my life we had nothing to work on

On the other hand I wanted
Better connection with my wife (who is attending couples with me)
I wanted to be better at work and a bit of fear of firing which brought me to counseling in the first place

Less meltdowns especially at home

All this without cutting out my creative music and comedy side.
My Aspie brain connections give me a great jazz harmonica to find notes that shouldn't work but they do. Musicians and I mean classically trained ask me how I do it. I honestly tell them I don't know. I also find improvisation in word - facial and body movement interpretation and expression works well on vs. Off stage.

I've always like Starry Night....and the Don McLean song, too.

Paint your colors Blue & Grey.

....

Was the song Bye Bye...?

If someone needs serious help, in the form of health care or social services, I think it's better to conform to the system that's in place to help people in need, than to fail miserably at self-care.

I think I see several versions of conform here.

I am using conform to identify the desire to be able to blend, but not become someone else.

If it's 'conformity' to want to be able to speak in a conversation, then I am a conformist.

If it's 'conformity' to want to be able to not stand out because I do strange things, then, I'm a conformist.

Basically, I don't want to lose my self-identity or the good things I can do. I just want to flow in society and at work a bit better. Maybe actually be able to hold onto a relationship.

But, I certainly do not mean 'lock-step', sheep mentality here.

I've gotten better at conforming over the past 10 weeks. I don't dress like a Mod anymore and I save those clothes for work. I dress unisex casual nowadays. I also make an effort to make sure my hair doesn't get too long. I'm also more polite and mature than I was the months and weeks leading up to Christmas. I also don't join in with Dean when he's teasing Barb about sex and bodily functions.

Some Aspergians conform more easily than others, and some may have been trained from an early age to "Do as the Romans." It's not uncommon for parents and teachers (especially those unfamiliar with autism) to use punishment and negative reinforcement, because they think that autistic children need to be "trained" and "normalized." Thus, an Aspie who was trained to fake it may find it disconcerting when someone else doesn't act in the "normal" way that was drilled into their minds.