newly diagnosed, and some help please!! !

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Hi, I've recently been diagnosed with Aspergers at 32.

While the diagnosis in some ways is a shock to me, it also makes a lot of sense. This might sound weird, but I never thought I had any issues socialising, etc, but looking back at my life, I can see why I never had many friends.

Anyway, I wanted to ask, I've always had issues in my life with friendships, and can be very possessive with people. My best, and pretty much only friend, just moved away, I get incredibly upset when he doesn't reply to my messages, or send me messages, not that I have anything to talk about. He has new friends now, and has told me they're good friends to him. I feel incredibly jealous, and feel replaced.

I just want to know is being possessive, being jealous, protective, and only having really one friend at a time 'normal' for Aspies?

I've been diagnosed by a clinical psychiatrist, who wholeheartedly believes I have Aspergers, but my general doctor doesn't think I have it, as she thinks I display empathy. Has anyone else experienced this?

I know how you feel; I've felt "possessive" about friends, too.

You probably live in a nice area, in Upper Queensland. In a nice climate. With nice tropical scenery.

The tropical scenery can never be taken away from you, unless a tropical cyclone hits.

That's the way I think about life. Humans are transient. Nature is constant.

kraftiekortie - Thank you for your reply.

The empathy thing has recently been disproven, but I'm not surprised that your doctor hasn't been updated. It has been explained that people from one culture have trouble putting themselves in the place of a person from another culture, especially if it is an oppressing culture. So aspies can have trouble imagining the emotions of neurotypicals in the same way that black people have trouble imagining the racial identity of whites. It goes the other way too, but when a culture has actively oppressed you, it can be hard to empathize with them, even if you have been trained to act like them.

Does that make sense? If not, the short answer is that some autistic people DO experience empathy and some neurotypical people (even good people) do NOT experience empathy. Often sympathy is used to the same ends.

And yes, I have heard of many people describing the friend situation that you related. I think a common solution is to set a routine for yourself in communicating with your friend, such as texting every other day and an email once a week, meeting up every week or every other week (just an example). Then find a secondary friend who you at least kind of like.

And nice to have you here!

SocOfAutism - Thank you for your reply.

With empathy for me personally, I actually do struggle to put myself in the shoes of others, unless the other person explains to me how they feel. I find it hard to just know, how they'd feel.

When I see my doctor next I'll be sure to let her know that the latest research suggests that Aspergers people do indeed feel empathy. Thanks again for your reply.

^Hi and welcome! Hugs: I'm the smiley sunshine girl around here, so feel free to pm me if you ever want to chat!