Worried I might get agoraphobia

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I get treated in similar ways. Some people act really uncomfortable and serious around me while acting friendly to other people. I feel like I'm so clumsy and awkward in public that it causes people to feel sorry for me and treat me like I'm inferior. Some days I just want to get away from everyone.

No I meant I hate when people on WP say "you probably THINK you look normal but you're probably doing things you're unaware of like some sort of stim, eg flapping hands". I know I don't do anything to make me look weird, but I am aware that I look shy because I feel shy inside, as in socially anxious.



This is the problem, I don't want to look like an easy target but I don't know how to not be one. This is why I feel anxious going out, see.

Joe, you have a little bit of thought disorder when it comes to other people. In your mind, you construct all sorts of theories as to how they feel or act towards you. If someone is abrupt or rude, it MUST be because they are disrespecting you. More likely it says something about them, not you, but you take it personally. That's a big mistake. Please try to remember that you can never know what's going on inside another person's mind, and not everything is a reflection on you. Like the time you were accused of shoplifting - that salesperson was completely in the wrong, as everyone pointed out to you in that thread in the Haven, so it really says a lot more about the salesperson than you.

I can't make you give up this self-centered focus if you really want to keep it, but I'm telling you that it will lead you to many wrong conclusions that will build up a self-image of persecution. It's an error in thinking, in reality-checking, that will eventually degrade your mental health even more.

The other thing I would suggest is that you are addicted to anxiety - to worrying. You had another post recently where you talked about the random twists and turns your brain makes, jumping from one "what if" to the next. An antidote to chronic worrying is to schedule your worrying. Pick a quiet time every day that you will do all your worrying, and then stop yourself from worrying any other time. Maybe you have decided you will worry every day at 7:00 p.m. Indulge your worries then, journal them if you like, set a 30 minute timer and let yourself go to town with worrying until it rings. But any other time, when you find yourself asking "what if?" re-direct your thoughts with the self-talk "Can't worry now, it will have to wait until 7:00." Over time you will get better at scheduling it, and when you do, you'll find it is not necessary to worry every time a potential "what if" flits into your brain, and you may eventually find you don't need to worry at all.

Worriers seem to believe if they just anticipate every bad outcome, it will forestall bad outcomes. Nothing can be further from the truth. Instead of worrying, plan well, but then relax. A worrier believes by worrying, they prevent something bad from happening. Instead they make themselves prisoners of their own thoughts.

When you encounter a "what if" in your thinking, you can check the impulse by responding to yourself, "yeah, so what?" Example, "what if someone thinks I look stupid?" Yeah, so what? Is that the end of the world? Does it say more about them than it does about you?

Or another related strategy is "worst case scenario." What if - I have a meltdown in public and start crying in a store? Okay, so what's the worst that could happen? Someone offers you a kleenex? Someone moves away from you because they don't like emotional displays? Someone snaps a photo of you crying and it ends up on the front page of the local paper? You get arrested for being disruptive? What is the very worst that could happen - the store manager asks you to leave? Someone who recognizes you, calls your mother? (How IS your mother, by the way?)

Ultimately you discover that your "worst case scenarios" are very unlikely and even if they happened, you would survive them.

imagine being agoraphobic and claustrophobic at the same time.
in that case, one would do well to have a well oiled revolving front door to their house.

LOL ... I mean no disrespect in saying, that was damn funny!

That was funny....I don't care who you are!! LOL

You may have meant it to be, or not, but it is. One I will tuck away for future use as a joke. I think that has legs for almost any situation.

It's like this. I've become distraught of people. I've had people targetting me in the past, and don't forget, I do have an anxiety disorder. I can't help worrying. The meds I am on do keep me from having rage outbursts, but nothing will stop me from being a worrier. My mum is a worrier too, and she's NT.

Rationally I know I look normal. But irrationally I have got it into my head, by bad experiences with people, that I look like the weirdest freak in the world and that people are laughing at me and making fun of me. So if I hear (mostly females) laughing in public, I automatically think they are laughing at me, because I know how insensitive people can be. A bit like when I was standing up on a really crowded bus once, and the bus stopped quite suddenly which made me nearly fall over, and immediately after I heard people laughing loud. I tried telling myself that they were probably laughing at something else at that precise time, or at themselves because maybe they nearly fell too. But my irrational social anxiety still convinced me that they were laughing at me for nearly falling.

Let's do an analogy example of how I feel. Imagine you are home on your own, and you watch the horror movie The Shining. Then afterwards you irrationally believe that there is a psycho in your house, or you'll see the 2 little girl ghosts standing up your hallway. At the time you really have the creeps. Or if you have the creeps from reading about Robert The Doll, you suddenly start to think he might be leaning against the wall in the corner of the room. Really you know that is impossible, but whilst having the creeps, your mind won't let you think that. You are anticipating ghosts and worse.
So same goes with social anxiety. Whilst feeling anxious in crowds, I start to believe that people are out to get me, laughing at me, mocking me, etc.

Having read the posts, I have one question I would like to ask you or anybody here who could answer because I really don't know.

Is the above quote about a social issue, or about paranoia making the social issues worse, or more paranoia than anything else?

I ask because I have extreme social issues.

I have paranoia about some things that may happen in when I am 'outside'. For instance, I am terrified of a meltdown in public and it becoming public or causing professional issues or legal issues. But, that is just me, right now, not my working premise for most times.

While the paranoia is making the social issues worse (not by much because I'm working hard to monitor things), I see them as separate issues and I can separate them.

And, I can understand how feeling 'different' can affect that process too. I man, we are on a website called 'wrong planet' after all. I think we all feel different and separated from most other things we see people do that we can't fathom how it looks so easy.

Hello,

I don't get harassed when i am out on my own, but i do get very very anxious. I had an operation 8 months ago and i lost my ability to speak. That has hugely effected my life. I ended up moving towns to live closer to friends.

I am rebuilding my confidence / ability in little steps. I have learnt not to force myself to do things as that tends to make it worse.

Here is what has worked for me:

* I go places with trusted friends, i get to know a place.
* I walk between my house and theirs, then i started to pop into the shops in between.
* We have a autism hub in town, 6 months ago i started visiting with my friend taking me, now i walk there alone and spend time there. I also use it as a forward base. Exploring the local shops and coming back to the hub. This week i went to the library for the first time alone using the hub as a staging post.

My entire "confident" area is very small, its two specific routes from my house. (one to the hub, one to my friends house). But for those routes i do feel safe.

In some ways, i al learning to listen to the anxiety and then act on it. This is a new town and i am just starting to regain my independence and skills.

Practical steps:

1: Can you identify anyone you feel safe with? (Parent, friend, family member).
2: Could you set a small goal with them. For example, walking from your house to their house or similar.
3: Work on that goal, first with support, then by doing it alone, building up slowly.
4: Moniter anxiety levels etc, try to avoid pushing too hard (i still push myself to hard!)

Hope that helps,

Jamie + Lion
Jamie + Lion

i think that agoraphobia stems from insecurity and a fear of going insane when away from home base.
the further one gets away from home, the more urgent will it be that one remains capable of getting back there.

i am not agoraphobic, but if i was thrust into the vastness of interstellar space, i would feel dwarfed by scale and i would freak out and want to get back into my hole.

no matter how fast you run, nothing seems to go past you in a very large space.
i gives the subjective feeling of helplessness.

the sensation of "progress" is heightened when one walks in a small familiar space, and diluted to a worrisome degree when one is large distances from walls and other things that give one a sense of capacity.

the worry that one may become mentally incapacitated whilst far from the safety of their bed may in fact precipitate an anxiety attack in some. like a separation anxiety of sorts.

Joe, if you have anxiety disorder, what in hell are you doing watching horror movies or reading similar books?

Just don't go there. I like procedural crime shows, but if they get too over-the-top with graphic violence and sexual psychopaths, I change the channel. I don't like horror movies and I don't watch them. Doesn't mean I have an anxiety disorder, but I avoid things that ratchet up my emotions in bad ways. Maybe this might be a strategy for you, too?

I don't watch horror movies often, plus I was using it as an example, nowadays horror movies don't affect me as much.

I do enjoy creepypastas on Youtube. But I've had social anxiety long before I've been into creepypastas and watching horror movies. Getting the creeps is entertaining for me. Ghosts, witches, etc, do not make me anxious. Just because one has an anxiety disorder doesn't mean everything is an impairment.

And a poster here mentioned paranoia. My social anxieties are mostly paranoia. It's not really a social impairment for me. I just fear the unknown, meaning I think strangers hate me, and if anything even a teeny bit embarrassing happens to me, I worry about it for the rest of the day and possibly for another few days, even if nobody saw or cared, I still feel embarrassed.

I mostly go out at night or when it gets darker and quieter I guess it goes in cycles depending on how bad my mental health issues are but the last couple years it's been a terrible combination with the autism so I very rarely go out in the day, if I have appointments I usually take beta blockers just so I can get to them but sometimes I'm late cause it's a bloody nightmare navigating streets when they are raucous and rowdy lol.

I have severe anxiety but I am a horror nerd and allured by disturbing stuff all my life, I have seen some of the darkest crud imaginable in my research but I don't think it has any profound effect on me, I am a morbid creature and I am most intrigued and fascinated by this side of the realm but I do fathom how it is detrimental to some folk.

Spacedoutandsmiling that sounds so useful to have such a hub! That makes so much sense to me, I use the library or bookstore as a kinda 'recharge' hub whenever I venture out, I have done this everywhere I've lived, or the forest or tunnels, it is necessary to recharge like some kinda lizard waddling to the sane shadows

I think the attitude that you're 'a worrier' may potentially hold you back. My grandmother has quite severe anxiety - so I could call her 'a worrier' and then assume that my own anxiety can't be changed using techniques to help. Actually, dubious though I was at first, I found that a range of techniques did help me. My psychologist gave me a book and I tried them out with her - some of them didn't work at first, some of them didn't work at all and some of them did work.

A tip: Practice the techniques when your anxiety is low - such as at home instead of in the middle of a shopping centre. It will only discourage you.They're not magic pills and you will need to practice them before they work very well.

I have a fear of public places and make an effort to avoid them. Unfortunately, I currently live in a bustling city. I dream of moving to a middle-of-nowhere town and working from home. People give me s**t whenever I'm outside of my room. It's not because I'm a "hottie." It's because I'm different, and people pick up on that instantly. I don't have to be making a scene. Simply sitting and minding my own business is enough for them to pick up on it and I guess it makes me stick out like a sore thumb. I also plan on learning how to drive because I am sick of riding the bus. The bus itself is a headache with all the bumps and wide turns. But the people make it even worse by acting so weird around me.

I haven't been accused of stealing, but people watch me like they're suspicious of me. On two occasions while waiting for the bus, police cars have randomly parked across from me. No it's not in my head and no I do not suffer from hallucinations.

How do you know you’re not a hottie?